Chance = Change

...of the two plays I have seen in the past week: BEAST ON THE MOON, by Richard Kalinowski, and SHOCKHEADED PETER, the interesting London import by a lot of people!
More to follow on these two, but for now, let this suffice:

BEAST ON THE MOON is a serious play about what happened in Armenia and Turkey in the approximate years 1920-1940....and the sad saga is seen through the lives of a young Armneian man and his mail-order Armenian bride...an older narrator (Louis Zorich) guides you through the reminiscences, and he turns out to be the older version of a young boy we see later in the play , an orphan that the young couple more or less adopts...there is much crying and recollection of horrifying experience (war is, after all, a very human hell) and Larry Moss directed (he ws my first acting teacher here in NYC) and his penchant for deep sea diving into the human psyche is very evident in the way he has shaped the honest direction of the actors' work...it is, for many reasons, however, a tough evening in the theater. And the use of music was thoroughly inexplicable to me...but more ont hat later.

SHOCKHEADED PETER made me think of what it must have been like to be one of the original audience memebers of the early ROCKY HORROR PICTURE SHOW crowd, in London back in the 1960's...we did go to the 10 pm show, and it was crowded with young and hip New Yorkers, (I include myself in that of course), so there was a flavor of the naughtiness of staying up way past your bedtime....and the work onstage was visually compelling, and eerily thought provoking... and the Tiger Lilies (the odd and terrifically droll band who helped to create the entire thing) were engaging to the ear...and don't we all love to see children, especially rude ones, get their "commuppence"? (Richard, how do you spell :"commuppence?)??? At this point, however, let me say: I only wish we had been able to see the original English cast.
Also, more on that later...I have to get ready to go Upstate soon .

...time to deliberate! And, since I was Alternate #1, it was time for me to go home!!! As it happens, some judges want their Alternates to deliberate, and some even allow them to vote, but our dear judge (whose name has already slipped my mind) let me and Alternate #2 (a woman named Kate) go free! I am sort of interested to see what my 6 fellow jury members came up with in the way of a decision and settlement, so I may call one of them and find out. But then, I may not. I will not see the inside of another Jury Room for at least 4 years, God willing.

The case was a mildly compelling one: a certain young woman was in #14 elevator of her 85 Broad Street office building one day in 2000, going down from the 28th floor to buy her lunch. Something made the elevator speed faster than its normal governed speed downward and the "governor" was tripped so that, after what seemed like a free fall that terrified everyone into prayer and screaming, the cab came to what they call a 'hard stop", and the woman was suing the elevator company for injuries,etc pain and suffering....both sides presented all sorts of expert witnesses on the subjects of "g force", elevator mechanics, foot and leg injuries, bio-engineering of the human body and what happens when certain mechanical things happen to affect it,etc. and there were days when staying awake was a bio-engineering feat in itself, but we did it, and so the 6 jury people who did go into deliberation yesterday have to decide how culpable the Millar Elevator Company is and if they have any responsibility in the claimed injuries of this young woman...if they decide the company is at fault in any way, how much money is due the woman,etc.....

And so I have served! My main fascination was with the Court Reporter and how he typed on his little machine and managed to record all the spoken proceedings! I need to find out more about that. What sort of court language is on that machine that it can record such long and intricate speechifying? Technical and rapid,etc. Plus which, the sheer concentration it takes to follow all the dialogue, how tired their ears must become! And their fingers! I wanna know more.

Tonight we go see SHOCKHEADED PETER...10:00 PM show...should be fun...I really have to get back into a theater mood...it is, after all, my life,right? Well, maybe not so much right now....Right now, it feels like my life is my life...and I like that a whole lot!

Hope you are all well! Dear readers, Happy Spring!

I've been getting so many calls and emails about my TriBeca Film Festival radio spot for AmEx...! I had forgotten how much exposure even the simplest radio spot gets, and how many people are reached by work done for a mere hour in a studio...not even an hour for this one...maybe 30 minutes...the same goes for all TV work I have done: it is stunning how many people all over the country watch television and how really ice they are about letting you know they have seen or heard you...So, "Esther", the character I recorded for this AmEx spot, is alive and well and spreading her good cheer all over NYC at the moment...actually, her run is probably over, since the nature of the radio spot was to let people know the Film Festival is coming, and now, the Film Festival is practically over! So, a couple of "usage" fees will probably come my way, as well as the initial session fee! Meanwhile, people have heard it in grocery stores, on their home radios, in their cars,etc. And "Esther", adorable "Esther", may live to see another day, as she prowls her fictional world looking for famous film peoples' autographs!

I wonder what the market is for the Amica Insurance spot I did ? And, I already know the Wachovia Bank spot is TV, for national network exposure, so it will be fun to see how that plays....this is a nice market to fall back into...I should probably spend some time this summer further cultivating it...all my on-camera commercial agents are scattered to the 4 winds since the Bloom Agency went out of existence, so perhaps i will attempt to track a few down and see the possibilities there. It's been a while for that, but ,why not? And it would be nice to chat with a few old pals in that part of the business.

New York look s very beautiful right now, with all the cherry trees and crab apples blooming...the city is decorated in a seasonal lace, and the greenig of the trees softens all the City's edges...a pleasure to see.

Wonderful and most favorite of the Jewish Holidays for me: Passover: a holiday of liberation and renewal of faith in man's ability to be victorious over the powers of darkness...powers that are as much a part of life as the sun..and we had a really nice celebration Upstate at the House Satuday night...Steven made a delectable potroast, and his own very first matzoh balls for a delicious soup, and I made the traditional charoses, sweet and spicy, and there was plenty of matzohs and delicious side dishes, and we sat down to our own version of a Passover seder..Paul, Peter, Steven, Chris (Steven's daughter) and me! Lovely. Good and familial. My Momma was definitely watching over us and smiling. Dear Steven, thank you for that respite from the world: our own Passover meal!

No Jury Duty today...I go back tomorrow for a final expert witness, then we probably go into deliberations and I should be free of the committment by Thursday, I hope. Time for life to continue in its normal track...though I have enjoyed it, truly.

Today and tonight, Peter and I are committed to making sense out of the mess of this gorgeous apartment...there is so much to do...and we are glad to have the time today to do it together! CAP 21 kids are doing their POP ROCK evening tonight, and we could go listen to them sing their favorite pop songs as part of their year-end "showings" but I think it's more important to stay home and clean! Tomorrow I will go to the theatre with Eliza V. to see something downtown directed by Larry Moss (who was my very first acting teacher here in NYC!) and that should give Eliza and me a chance to catch up a little on life. Odd: it keeps coming up for me that I am so grateful to have this time to enjoy real life for a while, without an 8-show-a -week schedule to hem me in...I am so used to being in the "harness" of performing, that it feels terrifically liberating not to be. And since there are no lack of friends who want part of our time, and since there are tons of thing to see and do, it still runs the danger of being too busy, but right now it is more in our control. And that feels so good.

Thursday night, we see SHOCKHEADED PETER, downtown...at the 10:30 show. From London, this is supposed to be very interesting theater, and I have been wanting to see it. We do need to soon initiate a thorough program of theater-going, as there is much for us to catch up on, but going to a theater seems to have taken the same backseat, for now, as acting in one! We are vactioning in that strange land called Real World! And we like it!!! There are still so many friends we have not seen yet since being back.

Speaking to friends this weekend about the nunber of Abingdon people who called me on my birthday made me miss Abingdon again, and I got pretty wistful, missing the people mostly, so Paul and I are speaking of how we can get down there for a visit. Peter needs to stay in the City, and so , since Paul and I love to travel together, driving down South will be a nice get-away for a week or so...but when? Soon, I hope.

My teaching schedule at CAP 21 does not begin until late June, I believe.So before then, perhaps I can see my beautiful Abingdon again.

Meanwhile, let's CLEAN!!!!

...and so it was, because I heard from the most wonderful array of people! And spent a good deal of the time with my adorable and brilliant niece Rachel doing such fun things...one of my best best birthdays ever!

First off: THANK YOU ALL for the greetings, notes and emails....Abingdon sort of came to visit me yesterday through all the lovely words I received from people, and it made me feel soooooo good....thank you!

Mike O. and Katy B. even called! And Mary Lucy B. wrote me a nice long email!The card from Chase was very funny and the kind words from blog readers were especially appreciated! It made me miss Abingdon less, knowing there are people who still care and think about us.And it made me want to be right there to hug them all...

Jury Duty got finished at 4:00 yesterday and I met Rachel at The Jewish Museum by 5:00...we spent almost 3 hours there! Walking and talking, seeing all there was to see...the permanent exhibits are wonderful and spurred much conversation about family...the Maurice Sendak show is fantastic and fun ( we sat on the shaggy carpeted floor, midst Sendak-fantastical pillows and read his books to kids...and the Jewish Women and Their Art Salons was another exhibit that was gorgeous and unusual...a fine fine museum. While we walked and waolked and taled, I came to understand how much alike Rachel and I are, and how much of the Baron sensibility we share...I so loved spending that time with her. Then we back across to the West Side and settled in for a long, margarita-filled feast at MaMa Mexico...a loud and boisterous place we all love, near our co-op, where it's always a celebration...the mariachi band sang Happy Birthday to me and I got my free healthy shot of tequila straight from the bottle...a bunch of young Tribeca Festival film makers and actors were there also celebrating a Birthday, and a good time was had by all!

The important thing was that i got to spend some substantial time with my niece, and in doing so I got to know better what is going inside her mind and soul, what she thinks about so much, how she feels about what she thinks,etc. It was deeply productive. I like her so much. Peter joined us after his class, and the three of us finally left there (another enormous party of Columbia University Business Grad Students were celebrating yet another birthday and the place was really jumpin' even as we were leaving at 11:00 pm or so...a great place and the food is swell!I remember vividly, while in Abingdon ,missing MaMa Mexico and its fantabulous margaritas! Terrific Mexican cooking.

A great great New York City night! It reminded me of how much the Museum life here matters to me...a fine reminder. More museums soon, and lots of them!

Off the the Upstate House in a short while. To rest and meditate. Jury Duty resumes on Tuesday. Meanwhile: HAPPY PASSOVER!

..my dear Momma, no doubt in pain, pushed me out into this world...I am reasonably sure i did not want to leave the comfortable place i had nestled into for 9 months, and I no doubt gave a good shriek of protest, if current behavior is any any indication of past...boom! There I was, a red, squawling thing, writhing about on some little table at Crawford Long Hospital, warning the world with that cry that Evalyn was now here to change the world for them all!!!I am reasonably sure I began bossing people about right away!

Dearest Richard: thanks for the Birthday call...Chase, amazing boy: thanks fro the Birthday e-mail...darling Ann J: thank you for the Birthday wishes....and Drew: the card...Peter, love, the gorgeous flowers....and so much more...Eliza, the call...I am so lucky to have a life filled with so much love.

Peter has a GUIDING LIGHT audition today...an "under 5"...but still very important, as it came directly from his work in the class with Rob D., who was impressed with peter obviously. He signed his Carnegie Hall contract yesterday, and Gary E. took him to a long and good lunch meeting. Much was accomplished.

The SGI meeting last night was wonderful (SGI = Soka Gakkai International, meaning "value creation")..inspiring and strong. The most wonderful people. A profound thing , this Buddhism. I must again thank Drew E. for giving it to me in my life. A true gift.

Tonight, while peter is in class, I will take my darling niece Rachel to the jewish Museum and then to dinner at MaMa Mexico! My gift to myself: to be with my niece!
I intend to strengthen that relationship.

I understand that ticket sales for SINGIN IN THE RAIN at Barter are doing well and the summer looks good there...GOOD!

I had better go downtown and be a good Jury person now...! More soon.

I simply cannot walk into 60 Centre Street every morning by 9:00am and NOT hear the LAW AND ORDER "sound" in my head...i giggle every time...and today, when the attorney for the defense loudly proclaimed "Objection!!" to some point an expert witness was making, I laughed out loud becasue it caught us all off guard and sounded terribly like the one I once yelled on air..all heads turned my way...I believe my guffaw woke everyone up...in any event, tomorrow is the 4th day of trial...we get Friday off...and Monday too, due to passover...we resume then on Tuesday,, with a late afternoon witness and that should be the end of that part of the trial...the judge will then charge the Jury and off we go to deliberate, though because I am Alternate #1, I wonder how much of the deliberation i will be doing actually....we shall see.

I must admit, I am enjoying my downtown sojourn each day, as it a neighborhood i forget about except when i am down there on Jury Duty, and each time I have to be there, I enjoy it a lot...it has really spiffed itself up over the years I was away, and is now pretty chic and full of great stores,etc. Still the same old China Town and Little Italy edges, but on the whole, cleaner and better...gorgeous enormous sculptures everywhere, modern and passionate in design...and the Government buildings look sparkling clean and important. Tourist busses make regular passes through the neighborhood, and since 9/11, security is enormously in evidence in front of every building. It adds to the imposing nature of the entire scene.

Our little trial chugs on, and everyday I am amazed...that's all I can say for now.

Tonight, A Buddhist discussion meeting on 85th Street and i look forward to it. I have ben assigned the explanation of the practise for guests, and in boning up on it for my short presentation, I have learned and been reminded of so much in the way of why I more and more love to explore and be with this Buddhism. It makes such true intellectual and experiential sense to me, and the daily practise of chanting Nam Myoho Renge Kyo ( "I devote myself to the Mystic law of the Lotus Sutra) and the more I study and do Gongyo (study and intoning fo various parts of the Lotus sutra), the more my mind expands to levels of experience and understanding I never expected...like opening gift boxes every day. It fascinates and comforts me on so many levels of my life.

And speaking of GIFT BOXES!!!!: Tomorrow is my BIRTHDAY!!!!! YAY! And already a lovely gift box arrived from Japan with wine and foods from Chris Boyd, and cards keep arriving from various pals..so nice to be remembered. If I had to be one second younger, I would only do it if I had already had Nam Myho Renge Kyo in my life, and if i knew at least half of what I finally do know now! To go back in time with any less knowledge would surely depress me into the ground, so YAY (say I) for the wisdom that comes with age...and the peace attending that so-called wisdom, at least some of the time!!! Getting older really is good for some things...perhaps that is why the hair turns silver: as a reward! (Or, as so many women insist: it turns to gold...we have earned that gold!)

I still miss Barter....surely they think of us every now and again...and i truly hope the summer months are really really wonderful for them all down there. I begin to look forward to teaching a summer class at CAP 21, but not enough to want to teach a lot yet...I want a summer here to catch up on what the city has to offer during that time....and I want to go to some local Buddhist retreats and keep studying. I am not yet ready to get back into full swing...Paul D. hjas asked me to write down for him in an e-mail what it is I do want for my work and career...i will do that for him, and for myself...it will help me clarify and focus my true energies.
It is a constant plague of my life that in an effort to be useful I say yes to all things offered or asked of me...finally I understand that i will be more useful if I learn to say thank you, but no thank you......despite all my experience and mileage as a professional, I still feel the need to say yes in order to prove something to somebody...what and to who? Life is so much larger and I want to know more of it.

So Jury Duty, as prosaic as it may be for most people, always tends to open my eyes to parts of life I generally forget about. Like neighborhoods I never visit...there is so much life to see...tomorrow, my Birthday,I want to dedicate myself to knowing and experiencing MORE of everything! Opening up to the possibilities of always staying open!

...which happens to be one of my favorite lines I spoke (declaimed) on LAW AND ORER...and all day today I kept hearing the LAW AND ORDER "da-dum!"...and i as I roamed the halls of justice down at 60 Centre Street, I kept expecting to see Jack McCoy and Serena and Lenny and the gang pop out of side courtrooms...yes..I am on Jury Duty, dear readers, and today was my first day! My darling brother Richard,knows what I speak of, since he just completed what seems like months on Jury Duty down in Texas, because he was actually put on a Jury for a specific case! Well: today for the first time in all my years of serving, doing my civic duty by simply showing up in the Jury Pool, today I GOT PUT ON A JURY!!!! One of 8, in a civil case about which I am not allowed to talk, and I am Alternate Number 1, and proud of it!!! I just knew, I felt, the minute they called my name for this particular enpannelment, first thing out of the gate this morning down at 60 Centre, I knew I was going to be on this case...maybe simply because it's my time to be a member of a Jury! So, first day, first thing: I am a Juror! We return tomorrow for evidence in the case, since this afternoon, both lawyers presented opening arguments. So, at 9:30sharp, that will be my shining face you see right there in Row 2, listening intently. Being wise, and taking note of all the proceedings. I shall be fair! (though I don't think Alternates actually get a chance to be much of anything...I will listen nonetheless.)

Peter and I spent the entirety of this past weekend Upstate at the House,helping Paul fic the place up. Peter worked very hard painting the insides of closets and I sanded lots of lightswitch plates. We had a marvelous family dinner Saturday night (Nancy T. came too) and Steven baked the most wonderful chocolate cake with cherries! I asked him to bake the same cake for my birthday WHICH JUST HAPPENS TO BE THIS WEEK!!!!! The 21st! (Not my 21st, but the 21st of April)...day after day after tomorrow...Chris B. who is in Japan on a job, already sent me the loveliest wines and picnic basket, all prettily wrapped...it arrived today from Osaka! How dear of him. And my gift to myself? Jury Duty! No. My gift is all the wonderful people in my life, and all the love they give me everyday. (as well as a pretty cashmere sweater I bought for myself on sale from the JJill Catalogue!...pink!)

So, sorry about not writing in the blog for several days, but no computer Upstate. And besides I was too busy enjoying the gorgeousness of the perfect 70 degree sunny weather, as I sat on the back deck and sanded little squares of plastic for re-painting! It was perfectly gloriously clear and warm all weekend, and witht the water from the stream and pond splashing noisily, and the fresh green buds poking up through the winter-sleep soil, it was the perfect weekend to be there. I will go again this coming weekend. I remember now how much I loved and missed this place while I was away. It is a wonderful place. Being there got me and Peter talking about the wisdom of selling this co-op and buying an actual place with a yard and maybe by some water...i do miss gardening. And the pups were ecstatic to be back on grass again! They fairly flew over the grass, their little doggie feet skimming the tops of the blades of grass, as they chased everything. They rant hemselves ragged all weekend, and it was good.

Peter and I have been asked to do a reading of a new play at NYU Grad Writing...in May...pal and good director Janice Goldberg requested we do it. And so...it will be good to re-connect with Janice.

And, so it goes.

Not very busy showbiz-wise, which is probably good, since I am now committed to being the best Jurist possible, and that will take a few days. I do wonder when the next offer will come my/our way, but as ever, I exercise my actorly patience. Someone out there wants me in their play, they just may not know it yet...Peter has meetings, including one with our agent to see what's what. Hi Fiddle di dee..the actors' life for me! Meanwhile, time to switch Winter clothing for Spring because it has definitely sprung! And like much else, hope springs eternal....

Onward!

...because I saw the first flowers of it in a small Uptown park on the way to the bank yesterday: Azaleas and golden buttercups. Right there, in front of my eyes, as if to say: "Hey! Don't worry! We have not deserted you ! We are HERE!!!" It was sharply refreshing,in the chill morning air, to see these early arrivals. The eternally wonderful thing about a full 4 seasons in a city like New York is that , unfailingly, it's like an entirely new wardrobe every season, every year. Like, when you go to where you stored your summer clothes, open them up and remember with joy how much fun you had wearing each item last year: like having a whole new closet full of stuff: that is each season in Manhattan...and Spring often feels the freshest and showiest memories. Riverside Park transforms into a garden spot, and little cafes are set up along the Hudson River pathways. At least they were before we went to Abingdon. We will see this year.

Easy booking for Wachovia Bank yesterday....a director who really knew how to direct voice work...a client easy to please....i learned a lot. In and out in 20 minutes. At Magno Sound on 7th Avenue, a really established and important music and sound place. I've not been inside their doors in several years. Felt good to be back.

Excellent CAP 21 Board Meeting last night.Such lengthy and productive discussions about a wide array of important topics concerning CAP's future development. We have a good Board right now, full of smart folks who like to actually talk to each other.
And who have a genuine admiration for the work that CAP 21 does.This is important. Lois Rathus. Pearl Berman. Jackie Yang.Harold Siegel. Nancy Truitt. Deb Williams.
They seem to understand what CAP 21 does and what makes it unique in the world of New York theater and education. And having Lois R. on the Board is particularly good, as she is not only a high-powered educator in her own right but she is the parent of a delightful and talented CAP 21 alumna (Allyn ) and that gives Lois a perspective that enables her to help us bridge the gap between the Conservatory work we do and the rest of our mission, which is our next big frontier: producing new works in a reasonable and unique fashion within our means. THE SHOP. THE CAP 21 SHOP!! More details on that later, but it is a very exciting next step, perhaps a transformative one for our organization, THE SHOP.

A large audience of folks responded wonderfully to GODDESS WHEEL last night in a CAP 21 Studio One that looked like it had been turned into a soundstage! The wonderful wonderful guys from Peter Fitzgerald's Sound Associates came at 4:30 and in a matter of 40 minutes or so set up all they needed to make the presentation work well...I was amazed and deeply relieved at how great the entire event sounded, with a healthy balance between the terrific New Pulse Band and our singers/actors...they SA guys really know their stuff! We could not have asked for a better result!!And the audience got the benefit of the juicy full sound we were looking for...our combination of CAP 21 students (all graduating this year) and professionals (Peter, Drew,Suzanne Griffin,etc.) made a very solid and beautiful vocal sound...and the jokes mostly landed well, and there was lots of laughter and a relaxed feel of fun and improvisation..every thing I wanted to achieve, for the most part...of course, as I watched, I saw places I wish i had had time to plug up some holes in the presentational form of it,etc. but hey! People seemed to genuinely enjoy themselves...given how all the elements never even came together before last night, how certain performers were never at rehearsal,etc and how we never got to work the entire piece with the band, it all came out really well. So ! Whew! That is done.

I hasten to add: Drew E. was dearly funny as "Helion" the lead Old Man, and Peter rocked the room with his soaring vocals and good looks...all sorts of poeple who did not know how well Peter sings were vocal about how impressed they were at his work, and he was surrounded by admirers at evening's end! He deserves every bit of praise...he is terrific, and really served the piece last night...he is a bnatural with a good band, and the New Pulse is a great band!

I booked a national network TV voice over yesterday: the Wachovia Bank one I auditioned for last week...I record it today...and my 2nd meeting with Julianne Boyd was ideal..."Lady B" really showed up in the room and at the very least, i gave the people lots of good laughs...the reader girl Kelly, whose work I really liked, even gave me a hug and kiss on the cheek as I left the office! I am glad I was able to give them the pleasure of my point of view on "Lady B"...it justified so much of the work I have done on her over the years to be able to take her into such a meeting and allowing her to show up with ease.

Much more to blog...but must run now to open IRA 2004!

Rock on!

So, Friday morning,after rushing to a voice over thing down on Greene Street , I rushed (via cab up the West Side Highway) to the 11:00 Band rehearsal for GODDESS WHEEL at the new and gorgeous Carroll's Studios on West 55th Street...a bit into the rehearsal, I receive a frantic and pained phone call from Frank V.: he has just left his NYU Grad Class with a totally swollen and painful mouth, so he was rushing to his dentist for help, he would be at rehearsal as soon as he could be! o.k....Soon after, he calls again to say he must rush to an oral surgeon and all sorts of work had to be done on his teeth and gums and he was terrified because as a kid he was traumatized by a rather savage dentist uncle,etc...I felt so bad for him and it was clear I would not only be handling the band rehearsal, but the read-through that evening of the entire piece, including assigning who reads what stage directons,etc. Frank was down for the count! So, okay...

Meanwhile, Peter (who sounded wonderful at the Band rehearsal, with a terrific "rock" sound as "The Chancellor") was readying himself for his first film shoot early early Saturday morning...more on that later...And meanwhile, also, we had to continue to prepare for the visit of our dear pals Anne and Chris J. from Abingdon, who were arriving late Friday night.More shopping and cleaning to do.

Both Peter and i were already tired from such a busy morning, but we kept going until all visit prep was accomplished and off we went to the 6:00 rehearsal at CAP 21...by then I had devised sort of a plan for the narration of GODDESS WHEEL and with that evening's 4- hour rehearsal, I put it into effect. It was actually a fun rehearsal.

By then , we had received word that Anne and Chris' train was going to be a couple of hours later than expected, so we went to a nice dinner with Drew E. (he's very funny as "Helion" in GODDESS WHEEL). And home, to wait for our friends. Soon, Peter was off to bed (he had to be up at dawn for his movie call), and I was glad to see our Chris and Anne at 2:00 am...we had a Scotch (Anne her usual Coke) and off to bed...it felt so goooood to finally lie down and relax...

Saturday, Peter was up at 6:00 and off to get our car and drive to his location...he agreed to do a few scenes in a SVA Student film (School of Visual Arts) and with his friend Mike Babel, was off to do that somewhere outside NYC...he would meet the three of us at LITTLE WOMEN at 2:00....this was the first film work of any sort Peter has done and, as it turned out, he really enjoyed the experience.Peter really liked the writer/director Adam Vanderpoole, whose SVA thesis film (SHOTGUN WEDDING) this is.

Peter took his own wardrobe, had the experience of scene set-ups, discussing the work with the director, being in front of the cameras (black and white) and playing the gay lover of Mike Babel,which was a source of huge comedy for both these guys as there are no straighter men on th planet and they have known each other for decades

So they had fun! Mike plays the lead in the film....and actually, Mike B. was the person who introduced Peter to me! He is our unwitting matchmaker! I love him for that alone!

In any event, Peter did eventually meet us at LITTLE WOMEN, and we all sat through that...much to say there....a sweet show. More later.

And by then I had put on a particularly scrumptious pot roast to slow-cook, and after the matinee, we went home, poured drinks,nibbled a few things before we sat down to a lovely dinner (I used some wedding gifts to set the table, specially for our guests)...two bottles of champagne were consumed with the roast and the various desserts...and we played games (MadGab made us all giggle til we wept), and finally sat down to watch FINDING NEMO, which Anne and Chris had never seen...and before you knew it, all four of us, in various timed combinations, were snoring in our various chairs and sofa spots!....what a crew! But I enjoyed FINDING NEMO as much as ever, and remain convinced it is one of the best movies ever made....a good way to wind down from a hectic day and a rather drunken dinner party...

Before too long, it was time to wake up (7:00 am) and get Anne and Chris off to their early morning train back to Abingdon....what dear people. I am so glad they came to visit...Anne had lovely useful ideas for how to proceed with the fixing up of our home, suggested paint colors, etc. And Chris is just one of the best men ever.
We consider them true friends.

And the week looms, starting off with getting GODDESS WHEEL together for tonight's reading at 7:00... we spent another four hours last night utting it on its feet in various microphone -oriented moves,etc. We had fun doing that as well, so if they can all retain even a bit of that fun it should be fine for the reading. Room One atCAP will be filled to the walls: a 7 piece band, 16 performers, and as much audience as we can squeeze in to the room that's left over...whew!

Stay tuned....

One of the things I have trouble conveying to the young actors I teach is this: the people you are auditioning for need you, want you, are hoping you are as good as good can be because they need to cast the role! Often, actors think in an imbalanced way. They want the job, so they are the ones in a postion of need and therefore their fate depends on how the director sees them or approves of them...we foget that we are the ones in the power position because we are the ones with the talent. This is sometimes difficult to remember because people being people after all, those who run auditions may feel the need to own the power and they do that by making actors feel small, insignificant, running bad auditions,etc. But we must remember: the actor is the important person in an audition. YOU ARE THE MOST IMPORTANT PERSON IN THE ROOM! This is truth. Remember that truth.

Every so often, an actor will meet a colleague in the profession who remembers that truth too and treats actors with respect, gentleness and professionalism. The first time I met John Caird for LES MIS auditions, I was immediately struck by what a courteous, kind man he was, as he met me at the door of the audition space, escorted me across the stage and introduced me to Cameron McIntosh and Richard J. Alexander,etc. He took care with me, as he did with each and every actor who crossed that threshold. And he was unfailingly kind and nice each and every time I went in to see them again and again. Never harsh or hurried, demeaning or inappropriate.
The entire process felt colleaguial....(I think I made that word up...I mean like colleagues together)...Chuck Abbott is that way when he auditions actors, at least he is with me...and of course Rick Rose is wonderfully collaborative in an audition room.

But we have all been in too many auditions where that is not the case. Each actor I know has got their own little "list"...the imaginary Tony acceptance speech list of who they will stick their tongues out at when they get up there to accept the award. Actors have to put up with a lot of disrespectful louts who have far less talent than the actor himself. And for this, the actor must have a strong stomach and a hearty, healthy ego. It also helps to know the work of the director you are going in to audition for, because then you know whether you like them or not!

It's a well-used axiom among actors with a track record: you are auditioning them for the job as much as they are auditioning you!!!

...so....special message to Chase H.: I just spoke with Jan Hartley and she is delighted to talk with you personally so please call her yourself ..you have the number...she admitted to owing you an email and will willingly discuss your needs for BALTIMORE WALTZ with you...she may or may not have what you need...but do call her! She was very cordial! Do not be shy!

There are certain people who are meant to do what they are meant to do, and if you are lucky enough to realize that about ourself early on, then grab hold and do it! I was lucky that way, because I knew I wanted to be an actress even when i was a young kid...and so my parents supported me in that in any way they could. And I have met young folks at NYU and in Virginia, who simply knew what they wanted to do with their lives and this is so exciting...In the case of this one particular young man, dear Chase H., he is already so enterprising and energetic with his love for the theater and everything about it, how could I not help when he asks? So the call to this designer was easy for me to do on his behalf, and I hope it works out...for him to even be producing BALTIMORE WALTZ down in Abingdon, is so amazing! Good luck Chase! And Melvin, and Devan, and all Abingdon-based theater youngsters, go see his production of BALTIMORE WALTZ...support each OTHER! Chase, go see their work at E and H! Youth of Abingdon! Support each other!!!Your love for theater is important!

I have never felt that competition is a thing that should keep people closed off from each other. My philosophy is: if the part has your name on it, it will be yours, no matter what, but if it is meant to go to someone else, then, no matter how good your audition is, it will go to that someone else. I also believe in recommending others for the roles you are right for, because, basically, in my world, there is enough work for everyone, even if it does not feel that way sometimes! One must keep an open spirit. Be generous. Trust. Relax and know that, even in this odd business, the Universe will take care of you.I know, I know...it sounds so silly....but I have always found this to be the case, and so i try to remember that in times of...well...not remembering it!

Today I audition for Julliane Boyd at Barrington Stage...should be fun. And the question is: do i really want to go away again, after just returning home? Well, we shall see....It will be good to meet her. I have wanted to.

Work continues on GODDESS WHEEL...we attempt a read-through this Friday night. After it, Chris and Anne J. arrive...so good! Wish we had more time to get this place looking better, but, well, they are our friends and love us anyway! We will have fun, no matter what! CAP 21 Parents Night is this Saturday, but I will gladly miss it to be with our dear travelling companions! We will giggle into the night! And catch up on life together...dear Anne and Chris.

...and Time has sprung forward: we are officially in the Time of Spring, and days will be lasting longer! Those ice-cream-smeared-on-face summer days are not far behind for us all, except of course for the Pope , who did indeed die yesterday...may he rest well.

Spring in New York City is a remarkable thing. The City sheds its skin. It dons the colorful new fashions of all the young designers and stalks its prey: it looks to mate and stay out late in the Downtown bars. It walks on high high-heeled open-toed sandals and men wear linen shirts open at the neck. Hair is cut short and bags are packed for the Hamptons or Fire Island. Work is an after-thought...Fridays are casual at the office and trains are rushed to be met. Summertime in New York is gin and tonic time. Sidewalk cafes have slow turnover, and people are on display and know it. Spring time morphs slowly into Summer and the only real difference is that one is more air-conditioned than the other, and Spring hopes, Summer sweats.
But both are warm and both are glad that Winter is gone away for a while. In a New York Spring and Summer, even when it rains, the sun is shining. Spring this year is turquoise and pink. Summer looms striped and bold. And all I know is I have to be near some water somewhere.

Abingdon is landlocked. I have not been near a shoreline in some time and I want to see one and spend some real time by it. I need the horizon a shoreline provides. Where water meets sky and all is calmly, expectantly flat. My heart was lifted high by the Mountains of North Carolina..what I want now is the steady beat of a persistent body of water lapping its shore. The knowledge that the next second will bring the next watery layer of liquid lace...I am remembering the house we used to have in Old Lyme...i want that. Not a proper pool, but a wild and uncontainable larger aquatic event...i want that.

And so it will happen...of course it will.

Meanwhile, today, we must get done all the things we were too lazy to do yesterday...we slept and cuddled and slept and slept some more. IT WAS WONDERFUL!
We had chocolate cake for dinner! Delish... And i was so very glad not to have a matinee or evening show to perform! So was Peter. One of these days we will get around to going out to see more theater and music , but right now we seem content to be at home. Money is better spent right now on other things.

Tonight we will probably have dinner with Paul and Steve. It seems to have become a regular weekly thing to do and it is nice. Family.

...as NYC is awash in a good old-fashoned Nor'Easter!! When I took the pups out to pee at their accustomed 7:00 hour this morning, the undaunted Cyrano pee-ed away, while Sally looked up at me like I was insane to expect her to even be outside in this windy wet mess!!! She is such a princess...takes after me, I fear...this day will a stormy one, with winds and rain increasing throughout, so we shall spend it cozily indoors...much to do here. Glad not to go out for any reason. For some reason, reminds me of Edinburgh...atmospheric and dramatically grey.

Yesterday was a very productive one, full of various business demands.

THe 11-1 session at Ayres Studio with Galt McD.'s 7-man band was fun and useful. Lots of our CAP21 kids showed up and got to sing at the microphones with the band, and they sounded terrific...Peter sounded great as "the Chancellor"...and Cat Joseph and Melanie May Po (the two "ringers" Galt has brought in to sing two of the roles) were wonderful...though they have been long-familiar with the music, they requested two vocal scores anyway, so on my way to my 1:50 radio booking, i stopped at CAP 21 on 18th Street and copied two for them, and gave them to Ron Stratton to drop off at the RENT Stage Door on 41st Street (Cat is currently in RENT, Melanie her best pal).

New York City is just one huge office area!

My Amica booking was swift and easy...I have lucked into clients who are easy to please lately...sessions with indecisive clients can be long and tiresome...but that was not the case yesterday. I was able to get to my 3:00 CAP 21 Board committee meeting easily, up at Nancy Truitt's office on East 59th Street. Lois Rathus, Nancy and I met in one of the Tinker Foundation conference rooms and got a lot done in the way of organizing our approach to staff interviews for the purpose of analyzing the company's structure. Also, because both Nancy and Lois are such interesting women, we had fun doing it! I am developing a real interest in Lois Rathus, both as an art historian and a friend. We wlaked and talked for many blocks after the meeting and I relaxed in her company. She has a terrific mind and a lovely sense of humor, and her knowledge of her field (her specialty is Abstract Expressionism) is so appealing to me. She is Dean of the Art Department at the College of New Jersey, and she really knows her stuff! Her daughter Allyn is a CAP 21 graduate and we asked Lois to be on the Board to represent parents of CAP 21...she has a genuine and abiding interest in the development of CAP, and has become good friends with both Frank and Eliza in the process. I look forward to knowing her and her family better.

After that long walk with Lois, we hopped a cab, I dropped her off at their Trumnp Plaza apartment and cabbed on home, where a relaxed night (of movies and Chinese food) was waiting for us both! We had such a good time: we watched two silly movies (SCHOOL OF ROCK and AGAINST THE ROPES) and enjoyed ourselves immensely, having felt like we both put in long, productive weeks in the re-establishing process of being back in NYC. We have earned this weekend.

So , as the storms rage outside, and as the rain pitter-pats down on the outside casing of our living room air conditioning unit (such a cozy sound), Peter still sleeps, the puppies cuddle on the floor at my feet, and I remain your constant correspondent..onward toward sunnier days!

Prayers for the Pope...when he finally lets go, may he rest in peace.

...the day feels fressshhhh, like the sound your mouth makes when you say "fressshhhhh", because as you walk out into it, the moist cool Spring air feels like a benign wash of moisture and slight breeze...and what you get is a feeling of fresssshhhhh! I loved walking the pups this early morn...my skin did not want to come indoors...but the part of me that needed coffee came inside anyway...and here we are.

This is the BEST news: Peter must have had a really good general audition for Jay Binder two days ago because yesterday morning, first thing, Jay called Gary E. (our agent) and told him he and his associate really like Peter (!) and MADE HIM AN OFFER straight out!!! They asked him to set aside the June dates for the Carnegie Hall staged reading of SOUTH PACIFIC, starring Reba McEntyre and Brian Stokes Mitchell, musical directed by Peter's idol Paul Geminganni, with Jason Danieley as "Cable" , and Lillias White as "Bloody Mary"...they asked Peter to be part of the Ensemble...a perfect way for Peter to begin to enter the scene here...not too much pressure, but plenty of good exposure...and a perfect way to have impressed the important Binder Office...Jay, dear Jay!! In my unavoidably co-dependent way, as I feel all Peter goes through , good or bad, I feel so proud I could burst!!! But I am working hard on healthily separating from Peter's process, as it is his process, not mine....but still....WOW!!!! This is sooooo good! And I am soooo proud of Peter! He is very happy. More details to follow on this,as the deal gets set. Suffice it to say: Carnegie Hall, early June. I 'm sure our agent is very proud of Peter too. He set up this meeting with Binder , and it is paying off in the right way for the future. Sometimes things do work the way they are supposed to!

This morning we both go over to the Ayres Studios on 47th Street and sit in on the GODDESS WHEEL band rehearsal...then i go do my Amica voice-over session...then to a CAP 21 Board Committee meeting on the East Side...then we can begin a reasonably calm weekend...with the most pressing issues being how to better organize this home of ours ..still so much to do. And dear Anne and Chris Johnson will be here next weekend!!! YAY! And though I know Anne knows we are very much still in transition, we want it to be as good as we can make it right now. It seems to us both we can still throw a lot of stuff away!

I had the most wonderful long email from Tom C. at Barter...House Manager and Head of the Gift Shop...he says sales are terrific...and the Shop is thriving. Such good news. The best thing of all was simply hearing from him. Thank you Tom.

So, out into this fresh day we go ....even the knowledge that this is Friday adds a sense of "whew!!! the weekend is here" feeling.... one of the good things about not being in a show right now: we actually get to have weekends! On all busy performance schedules, not only Barter's, actors'weekends are compressed into one day off...and as much as we adore our work, this can become onerous and tiring. So Peter and I have been enjoying real Saturdays and Sundays. The fat NY TIMES, the fresh bagels, the whole New York weekend thing! I remember dreaming about such weekends when I was busy at Barter...snuggling down in our comfortable bed, the smell of newsprint and fresh coffee, inky fingertips and a blank NY TIMES Crossword Puzzle to work!And right now we have the luxury to enjoy that. Even with rehearsals for GODDESS WHEEL, we still get to have a real weekend!

And so, for now, dear readers, we send love, best Springtime wishes, and a jolly
HAPPY APRIL FOOL'S DAY to you all!!!!!