Sunday, December 13, 2009
OUr Jewel Tree , Winter 2009
Well.a violent wind storm blew down 30 foot lines in our back garden last Wednesday, taking all power lines with them, so for 3 extremely cold days, we had no lights, no heat, no phones, no computers, and it got to be pretty annoying, but then, Friday night late, (I swear after my 25th phone call to Appalachian Electric Power Company, we happened to see three huge yellow tree crew trucks and electrics guys working on our lace, and- bang! In the wink of one wire connection, our house was lighted up like nothing had ever happened! What a relief, as we were just about to move into the Barter Inn for a night of warmth and hot water and restful sleep!
During that 3-day period - when anything resembling a normal day-to-day life was beyond my control, my equanimity held strong for pretty much all of it, and with every phone call I made to inquire about the crews' progress toward (okay, I'll go there) enlightenment, i was cordial, not ever mean or nasty to anyone, understanding of their dilemma, and really pretty reasonable, even though my equanimity did begin to get a little threadbare toward the late afternoon on Friday....but being relatively calm like that through out this ordeal (keeping in mind that hundreds and hundreds of other people had it far worse than we did and they have it far worse every day of their lives, not just when power lines go donw)...keeping all that in mind and staying calm, I was able to isolate and observe yet again the same feelings of powerlessness ( no pun intended here) that I feel when I am on an airplane: another situation in which I could do nothing but cry and moan and complain, getting comfort from others, but having no genuine power with which to affect any real change.....and i realized again how uncomfortable and angry, and sad i get when I realize that we are all really -finally - powerless in the face of Fate, and other forces far larger than we are. This is the first basic tenet of Buddhism: we all die....we all suffer...and that...well...that is THAT!
So, keeping that in mind, my few days since electric power was magically restored to us have been warm and fun ones but they are also filled with thought and contemplation on my new insight: I am powerless, and there is absolutely nothing I can do about it....small moments of meditation and thinking about this have provided a backdrop against which to more deeply appreciate the good things in my life, like the fine husband I have, the kind and generous friends we have here in Abingdon, the warmth of a good house, and bounty of so much we possess and can do with our lives.
Yes, it does deepen my appreciation, but it is not the panacea for the despair that comes right along with everything in every moment as well. I am experiencing a happy sadness, or , if you will, a sad happiness, at realizing how dim the future shines....how we must generate our own light, or there will be none....how we must take charge and illuminate existence, or we will dwell in the dark forest forever and ever.
So, our 2nd attempt at a Jewel Tree of Tibet , at this Christmas time of 2009: we worked on it yesterday (after an abortive attempt last weekend...we had not yet been through the rigorous and cold blackout days...somehow I think that prepared us to build the Jewel Tree we really wanted, and so we have it now!)
THe gorgeous Qu'an Yin that Peter gave me for Christmas years ago sits at the central base of the Jewel Tree, with a small live fir tree plant behind her draped in lights, and she sits serenely on a platform draped in purple and gold cloth.. She is also draped in shining colored lights, and garlands of paper prayer flags, and at her posed feet sit many candles we will light through out the Season, as we meditate in her presence. Her shawl of colored lights add a rich glow to her already serene presence.
On either side of her are lush deep red poinsettias, and at the base of her platform are bowls filled with sparkling white lights, giving an appearance of a lively fire at her feet...the glass bowls shine prettily as the lights flash within them.
Then, rising up into a cone shaped height from either side of the goddess, are strings of colored lights, shaping into a tree-like crown above her head all the way to the ceiling, and on these strands of lights we have begun to hang bejeweled photos of family members, friends, revered teachers, famous writers we admire, philosophers, masters of various fields we honor, and others we wish to honor as well. So far, on our Jewel Tree, with the BUddha sitting at the top, a Green Tara sitting below him and the Dalai Lama below her, are Peter and me, Paul and Stephen, Pat and Charles Yonka, my Momma and Daddy, Maria Montessori, Peter's grandmother and father, William Shakespeare, ANton Chekov, two of Peter's favorite teachers from high school and college, my dear Kathryn Connell from North Fulton High, and so far that is all we have hung there, but there will be more. We made those little icons when we last had a Jewel Tree back in NYC several years ago, and i worked with pleasure to decorate them with little glass and plastic jewels,etc. I want to do more as well, and will look for photos of other people we wish to honor, and I will bejewel them as well.
It's a cozy, very pretty and quite unique Holiday idea, and I am glad that Peter did not want to cut down alive tree this year, and instead asked that we do a Jewel Tree. We will also put out books from our Buddhist library about the Jewel Tree Meditation, and honor life and the world by studying that as well over this gracious time.
Rainy and cold day today, and we have this Sunday to stay indoors , honor our home, relax together with our dear dogs (they go on the tree too in the form of cunning little ornaments Peter bought for me) and i will make another pot of soup for later....i seem to be on a home-made soup kick.
But for now: I will sit and look and see and contemplate what the Jewel tree has to show me.
Happy day all.
During that 3-day period - when anything resembling a normal day-to-day life was beyond my control, my equanimity held strong for pretty much all of it, and with every phone call I made to inquire about the crews' progress toward (okay, I'll go there) enlightenment, i was cordial, not ever mean or nasty to anyone, understanding of their dilemma, and really pretty reasonable, even though my equanimity did begin to get a little threadbare toward the late afternoon on Friday....but being relatively calm like that through out this ordeal (keeping in mind that hundreds and hundreds of other people had it far worse than we did and they have it far worse every day of their lives, not just when power lines go donw)...keeping all that in mind and staying calm, I was able to isolate and observe yet again the same feelings of powerlessness ( no pun intended here) that I feel when I am on an airplane: another situation in which I could do nothing but cry and moan and complain, getting comfort from others, but having no genuine power with which to affect any real change.....and i realized again how uncomfortable and angry, and sad i get when I realize that we are all really -finally - powerless in the face of Fate, and other forces far larger than we are. This is the first basic tenet of Buddhism: we all die....we all suffer...and that...well...that is THAT!
So, keeping that in mind, my few days since electric power was magically restored to us have been warm and fun ones but they are also filled with thought and contemplation on my new insight: I am powerless, and there is absolutely nothing I can do about it....small moments of meditation and thinking about this have provided a backdrop against which to more deeply appreciate the good things in my life, like the fine husband I have, the kind and generous friends we have here in Abingdon, the warmth of a good house, and bounty of so much we possess and can do with our lives.
Yes, it does deepen my appreciation, but it is not the panacea for the despair that comes right along with everything in every moment as well. I am experiencing a happy sadness, or , if you will, a sad happiness, at realizing how dim the future shines....how we must generate our own light, or there will be none....how we must take charge and illuminate existence, or we will dwell in the dark forest forever and ever.
So, our 2nd attempt at a Jewel Tree of Tibet , at this Christmas time of 2009: we worked on it yesterday (after an abortive attempt last weekend...we had not yet been through the rigorous and cold blackout days...somehow I think that prepared us to build the Jewel Tree we really wanted, and so we have it now!)
THe gorgeous Qu'an Yin that Peter gave me for Christmas years ago sits at the central base of the Jewel Tree, with a small live fir tree plant behind her draped in lights, and she sits serenely on a platform draped in purple and gold cloth.. She is also draped in shining colored lights, and garlands of paper prayer flags, and at her posed feet sit many candles we will light through out the Season, as we meditate in her presence. Her shawl of colored lights add a rich glow to her already serene presence.
On either side of her are lush deep red poinsettias, and at the base of her platform are bowls filled with sparkling white lights, giving an appearance of a lively fire at her feet...the glass bowls shine prettily as the lights flash within them.
Then, rising up into a cone shaped height from either side of the goddess, are strings of colored lights, shaping into a tree-like crown above her head all the way to the ceiling, and on these strands of lights we have begun to hang bejeweled photos of family members, friends, revered teachers, famous writers we admire, philosophers, masters of various fields we honor, and others we wish to honor as well. So far, on our Jewel Tree, with the BUddha sitting at the top, a Green Tara sitting below him and the Dalai Lama below her, are Peter and me, Paul and Stephen, Pat and Charles Yonka, my Momma and Daddy, Maria Montessori, Peter's grandmother and father, William Shakespeare, ANton Chekov, two of Peter's favorite teachers from high school and college, my dear Kathryn Connell from North Fulton High, and so far that is all we have hung there, but there will be more. We made those little icons when we last had a Jewel Tree back in NYC several years ago, and i worked with pleasure to decorate them with little glass and plastic jewels,etc. I want to do more as well, and will look for photos of other people we wish to honor, and I will bejewel them as well.
It's a cozy, very pretty and quite unique Holiday idea, and I am glad that Peter did not want to cut down alive tree this year, and instead asked that we do a Jewel Tree. We will also put out books from our Buddhist library about the Jewel Tree Meditation, and honor life and the world by studying that as well over this gracious time.
Rainy and cold day today, and we have this Sunday to stay indoors , honor our home, relax together with our dear dogs (they go on the tree too in the form of cunning little ornaments Peter bought for me) and i will make another pot of soup for later....i seem to be on a home-made soup kick.
But for now: I will sit and look and see and contemplate what the Jewel tree has to show me.
Happy day all.
Wednesday, December 02, 2009
This San Francisco Vacation
Day after tomorrow, at about this time, I'll be taking off to return to Abingdon, to home and husband and job and pups....i miss Peter and the dogs, so it'll be nice to get home. BUT: i am definitely leaving a part of my freshly re-raised consciousness here, in this very beautiful CIty by the Bay....like Tony Bennett, I can sing, as my jet raises up over the Ocean, "I left my heart in San Francisco..."...or at least a small corner of it, which is now reserved for future things to come.
It has been a terrific series of days, culminating in my being able to spend time with my old mentor/director and friend Barbara Damashek out in Berkeley...the minute I saw her standing by the BART Station to pick me up, I started crying...i had no idea I would weep like that ...but something in me simply relaxed with a release of tension and fatigue that made me cry because why? Because I knew I would finally be back in the presence of someone who so "gets" me, and who has always so "gotten" me from the moment we met on a windy NYC street corner (42nd and 9th, it was)...that I knew I was back at a sort of "home" again, and that made me cry with happiness. I have always said I would run away with any circus Barbara Damashek ever asked me to join...
Since that afternoon on 9th Avenue when she looked up at me (she is tiny and short) and said "You're Evalyn Baron, aren't you? I want you to be in a show i wrote" -and took me from my bus stop over to the 42nd Street studio where she was holding auditions for QUILTERS, and from which studio I emerged 2 hours later dazzled by all the music she played for me - and I knew I'd be going to Pittsburgh! - Ever since that moment in time, I have loved and admired this remarkable theatre artist....i have known her heart and have always been challenged and intrigued by it...not to mention comforted by her pure dear soul....i didn't realize how much I've been missing her. She's been living out in Kensington, next to Berkeley for over 25 years now, and this is the first time i have seen her home out here.
She drove me around for a couple of hours, showing me all the "bones" of Berkeley, Oakland, and surroundings, from the top of the highest hill (what a view of the Bay: you can see the curvature of the Earth, it's so vast a view) all the way to the Bay shoreline where we sat and talked and talked and talked, until we met Paul and Stephen in Berkeley for dinner at what has fast become our favorite Mandarin Chinese restaurant there. Then, we all went to see Issa in concert at Freight and Storage there...(formerly Jane Siberry, Issa has enthralled Stephen and both he and Paul have become fans and supporters of her work)...a great day all the way around....I now have Barbara Damashek back in my life, and I will keep her in it ...i will keep her in it.
Time and space to rest, read and listen have done good things for me out here, and if i can take some of the Thich Nhat Hanh training I have become interested in back with me, the anticipation of viewing and experiencing my life back in VIrginia as a challenge and opportunity to grow in important spiritual ways may help me in ways I can't begin to calculate at this time. One thing I do know: there is much I am being called on to learn and grow from in this time of my life, and if there is one thing I am certain of it's that I do want to grow and change in ways that I know I need and that will enrich my life from now on.....
I've always believed that things in a life are not accidental...that things happen for our enrichment's sake,even if we think they happen for quite opposite reasons....so these particular years of change - this entire time of transition - is to be viewed, and will be viewed by me as yet another form of Graduate School: for yet another terminal degree in living Life.
THis trip has been like a Preparatory School session for the next "semester"....and the bell will ring any minute now for the start of class.
But first, more Pacific Ocean, more beach, more beauty....and to you guys? More soon.
It has been a terrific series of days, culminating in my being able to spend time with my old mentor/director and friend Barbara Damashek out in Berkeley...the minute I saw her standing by the BART Station to pick me up, I started crying...i had no idea I would weep like that ...but something in me simply relaxed with a release of tension and fatigue that made me cry because why? Because I knew I would finally be back in the presence of someone who so "gets" me, and who has always so "gotten" me from the moment we met on a windy NYC street corner (42nd and 9th, it was)...that I knew I was back at a sort of "home" again, and that made me cry with happiness. I have always said I would run away with any circus Barbara Damashek ever asked me to join...
Since that afternoon on 9th Avenue when she looked up at me (she is tiny and short) and said "You're Evalyn Baron, aren't you? I want you to be in a show i wrote" -and took me from my bus stop over to the 42nd Street studio where she was holding auditions for QUILTERS, and from which studio I emerged 2 hours later dazzled by all the music she played for me - and I knew I'd be going to Pittsburgh! - Ever since that moment in time, I have loved and admired this remarkable theatre artist....i have known her heart and have always been challenged and intrigued by it...not to mention comforted by her pure dear soul....i didn't realize how much I've been missing her. She's been living out in Kensington, next to Berkeley for over 25 years now, and this is the first time i have seen her home out here.
She drove me around for a couple of hours, showing me all the "bones" of Berkeley, Oakland, and surroundings, from the top of the highest hill (what a view of the Bay: you can see the curvature of the Earth, it's so vast a view) all the way to the Bay shoreline where we sat and talked and talked and talked, until we met Paul and Stephen in Berkeley for dinner at what has fast become our favorite Mandarin Chinese restaurant there. Then, we all went to see Issa in concert at Freight and Storage there...(formerly Jane Siberry, Issa has enthralled Stephen and both he and Paul have become fans and supporters of her work)...a great day all the way around....I now have Barbara Damashek back in my life, and I will keep her in it ...i will keep her in it.
Time and space to rest, read and listen have done good things for me out here, and if i can take some of the Thich Nhat Hanh training I have become interested in back with me, the anticipation of viewing and experiencing my life back in VIrginia as a challenge and opportunity to grow in important spiritual ways may help me in ways I can't begin to calculate at this time. One thing I do know: there is much I am being called on to learn and grow from in this time of my life, and if there is one thing I am certain of it's that I do want to grow and change in ways that I know I need and that will enrich my life from now on.....
I've always believed that things in a life are not accidental...that things happen for our enrichment's sake,even if we think they happen for quite opposite reasons....so these particular years of change - this entire time of transition - is to be viewed, and will be viewed by me as yet another form of Graduate School: for yet another terminal degree in living Life.
THis trip has been like a Preparatory School session for the next "semester"....and the bell will ring any minute now for the start of class.
But first, more Pacific Ocean, more beach, more beauty....and to you guys? More soon.
