Tuesday, June 20, 2006
Shaw Awe!
Last night, yet again, David Staller and his magnificent PROJECT SHAW !!!
The play read was GETTING MARRIED , and it was a peach! Paxton Whitehead, Penny Fuller, Charlotte Rae (amazing casting! as "Mrs. George"), Alison Fraser, and my own darling Peter as "Cecil"....plus other wonderful actors! It was a great fun read, and Peter was especially impressive...everyone was talking about him afterwards...it's just that he is so goodlooking and then he opens his mouth and his training is so good, his experience so right there...people are amazed to see such a young man who can do Shaw so well....he was very good last night. I was proud of him. He is so damned talented!
Letitia, our blessed cleaning lady, is here today, making sense out of our dear, lived-in home...every two weeks, we are forced to clear away debris and make it all liveable again, and we owe that to dear Letitia...YAY!
Tonight, I keep a committment I made to Ruth and Jerry Selman, dear old friends of Pat Yonka, who I have become very fond of.....they are two amazing people in their 80's and they live at 4610 Village, on Tenth Avenue at 46th Street here in Manhattan.
Ruth is a pioneer in Montessori Peace Education and Jerry, her husband of many many years, is one of the most interesting creative men I have ever met. They are both writers, idealists and what i would call" Old Reds" and I adore them! So, naturally, Ruth has started a Drama Club at their old folks home, and I promised I would come have dinner with them tonight and attend their meeting! And so I shall. I am going to them armed with a bunch of Shakespeare mohologues, just in case they want to work on something.
And tomorrow, I return to my duties at The New School Summer Musical Theatre Immersion: I have a two hour acting class. And it will be fun to see where they all are, after my having been away from them for a couple of days. They are being inundated with so much information and experience. It will be fun to see what sticks!
And to see how each of these lovely young actors is being shaped by the two week experience, generally.
Getting back to the Shaw Project last evening: I had a really good time sitting in that audience.....my ears were happy to be so well engaged with good language...and my mind leapt at the chance to think along with Shaw! It was a treat to hear Simon Jones simply talk, and easily inhabit his character, as it was with Paxton Whitehead...these are technically gifted actors of a certain age, who have done more roles in more good plays than almost anyone...they are Masters of their craft...and I bathed in the luxury of their ease with the material...wonderfully, Charlotte Rae, who cannot be younger than 75, can she? ayway, vocally , she was deeply present and connected to every word on the page, and she imbued "Mrs.George" with a sort of impish quality that made the entire thing work...she was gorgeous...and she is such a character woman, short and odd looking always...but last night, she showed me just what a truly fine actress she is and always has been, no doubt. It was a pleasure to see her do Shaw...and brilliant of Staller, I might add, to think of her for the role....truly an inspirational stroke, since most of us are simply used to her doing silly characters on dumb tv shows! I was so so glad. By the way, Celeste Holmes was in the audience last night. So we had the original "Ado Annie" and the original
"Mammy Yokum" under the same roof...I tell ya: only in New York!
This is such an intersting time for us.
Peter, wondering if he even wants to continue being in the theaer at all...me, tired of an 8 show a week schedule, feeling as if I have acted my last role but loving to teach, nonetheless.........both of us happy as happy can be, because we are together and going through these separate growth times together...knowing nothing can really harm us...ejoying our Buddhist studies...wondering what comes next.
It is so good to see Peter come to terms with where he honestly is...he loves acting, is so good...but,(like me), so tired of all the nonsense necessary to even try to get jobs....it's all so dumb. So infuriating. So, to sit back and examine who one really is in relation to all of that...well, I can't help but feel its a good good thing to do. Life is too short to waste on things one considers not worthy of one's soul and gift. I did not have these sensibilities when I was younger, and as a result, I did grow the way I was supposed to grow..but Peter has them now...so he is growing his own way. And I admire his courage. I love him so very much, and that love grows deeper all the time.
The play read was GETTING MARRIED , and it was a peach! Paxton Whitehead, Penny Fuller, Charlotte Rae (amazing casting! as "Mrs. George"), Alison Fraser, and my own darling Peter as "Cecil"....plus other wonderful actors! It was a great fun read, and Peter was especially impressive...everyone was talking about him afterwards...it's just that he is so goodlooking and then he opens his mouth and his training is so good, his experience so right there...people are amazed to see such a young man who can do Shaw so well....he was very good last night. I was proud of him. He is so damned talented!
Letitia, our blessed cleaning lady, is here today, making sense out of our dear, lived-in home...every two weeks, we are forced to clear away debris and make it all liveable again, and we owe that to dear Letitia...YAY!
Tonight, I keep a committment I made to Ruth and Jerry Selman, dear old friends of Pat Yonka, who I have become very fond of.....they are two amazing people in their 80's and they live at 4610 Village, on Tenth Avenue at 46th Street here in Manhattan.
Ruth is a pioneer in Montessori Peace Education and Jerry, her husband of many many years, is one of the most interesting creative men I have ever met. They are both writers, idealists and what i would call" Old Reds" and I adore them! So, naturally, Ruth has started a Drama Club at their old folks home, and I promised I would come have dinner with them tonight and attend their meeting! And so I shall. I am going to them armed with a bunch of Shakespeare mohologues, just in case they want to work on something.
And tomorrow, I return to my duties at The New School Summer Musical Theatre Immersion: I have a two hour acting class. And it will be fun to see where they all are, after my having been away from them for a couple of days. They are being inundated with so much information and experience. It will be fun to see what sticks!
And to see how each of these lovely young actors is being shaped by the two week experience, generally.
Getting back to the Shaw Project last evening: I had a really good time sitting in that audience.....my ears were happy to be so well engaged with good language...and my mind leapt at the chance to think along with Shaw! It was a treat to hear Simon Jones simply talk, and easily inhabit his character, as it was with Paxton Whitehead...these are technically gifted actors of a certain age, who have done more roles in more good plays than almost anyone...they are Masters of their craft...and I bathed in the luxury of their ease with the material...wonderfully, Charlotte Rae, who cannot be younger than 75, can she? ayway, vocally , she was deeply present and connected to every word on the page, and she imbued "Mrs.George" with a sort of impish quality that made the entire thing work...she was gorgeous...and she is such a character woman, short and odd looking always...but last night, she showed me just what a truly fine actress she is and always has been, no doubt. It was a pleasure to see her do Shaw...and brilliant of Staller, I might add, to think of her for the role....truly an inspirational stroke, since most of us are simply used to her doing silly characters on dumb tv shows! I was so so glad. By the way, Celeste Holmes was in the audience last night. So we had the original "Ado Annie" and the original
"Mammy Yokum" under the same roof...I tell ya: only in New York!
This is such an intersting time for us.
Peter, wondering if he even wants to continue being in the theaer at all...me, tired of an 8 show a week schedule, feeling as if I have acted my last role but loving to teach, nonetheless.........both of us happy as happy can be, because we are together and going through these separate growth times together...knowing nothing can really harm us...ejoying our Buddhist studies...wondering what comes next.
It is so good to see Peter come to terms with where he honestly is...he loves acting, is so good...but,(like me), so tired of all the nonsense necessary to even try to get jobs....it's all so dumb. So infuriating. So, to sit back and examine who one really is in relation to all of that...well, I can't help but feel its a good good thing to do. Life is too short to waste on things one considers not worthy of one's soul and gift. I did not have these sensibilities when I was younger, and as a result, I did grow the way I was supposed to grow..but Peter has them now...so he is growing his own way. And I admire his courage. I love him so very much, and that love grows deeper all the time.
Sunday, June 18, 2006
Volumes and Volumes and Volumes of ME....
..have been my pre-occupation over these last two days...or at least, READING the journalling I have done over these past 40 years! Yes!!!! 40 YEARS!...I started my first journal when I was 16 or 17 and have written of my life in small blank books ever since! At some point, years ago, I had a piece of furniture made to store all the journal volumes in, so they at least could be all together and make some sort of their own sense.....yesterday, I opened some of those drawers (which I have not opened in years) and started taking out individual volumes and reading back through the years......it is like I have been on a tour of an entire other continent...I am amazed at not only what i wrote, but how I wrote it....the topics are limitless, the styles varying along with my handwriting, but all in all, a compelling narrative.
So much to be done with it all, as my years of diary-keeping include not only personal highways and byways, but professional ones as well...the sections on the Boston putting together of RAGS, for example.... practically publishable...in fact, I may ask if that particular bunch of entries might not be of interest to BACKSTAGE, when it comes time for me to write a column or two...I wrote down everything we were all going through as we torturously made our way through rehearsal and preview days in Boston, then NYC....wow. I mean I wrote down EVERYTHING! And since I was the Principal Equity Deputy, I had several points of view on all the issues that arose during that truly troubled time....all the major players come under the scrutiny of my busy writer's eye, and my pen spared no one!
But that is only a tiny section of what has turned into a vast work of my life!
Here, for example, is what I wrote one day in 1999, while I was visiting Peter at a show he was doing at the Jersey Shore, and my darling Momma was coming to her final days in Chicago...I had been visiting her, helping her, for two weeks out of every month at that point...here's something I wrote:
"So, I do what I can...My Momma, as she decays and leaves this life, drifts up from wherever she daily dwells, and looks at me and tells me how much she loves me, and how brave and good a daughter I am being.....she totally acknowledges me, and I watch her refine and refine, until a bare essence of who she is remains....
A flame burns truly inside older people - if you can get past the debris of aging - the flame is there to behold and be warmed by....these people, bent by time and illness,have been there, seen it, done it all before us - their flames can be beacons if we want them to be - They have forgoten more about life, these old ones,than I have yet to learn."
Then I go on to tell a story about a woman in Momma's nursing home named Adelaide, who had lost her every-day mind, but, having once been a concert pianist, one day sat down at a piano while I was there, and gave Momma and me a concert from the depths of her lost memories..I sang with her...we all three cried...no one else shared this but the three of us...we were in the basement rec room...ono one else around. I will never forget my Momma's eyes that afternoon...
My journals are so filled with life...I wonder what i shall do with it all.
So much to be done with it all, as my years of diary-keeping include not only personal highways and byways, but professional ones as well...the sections on the Boston putting together of RAGS, for example.... practically publishable...in fact, I may ask if that particular bunch of entries might not be of interest to BACKSTAGE, when it comes time for me to write a column or two...I wrote down everything we were all going through as we torturously made our way through rehearsal and preview days in Boston, then NYC....wow. I mean I wrote down EVERYTHING! And since I was the Principal Equity Deputy, I had several points of view on all the issues that arose during that truly troubled time....all the major players come under the scrutiny of my busy writer's eye, and my pen spared no one!
But that is only a tiny section of what has turned into a vast work of my life!
Here, for example, is what I wrote one day in 1999, while I was visiting Peter at a show he was doing at the Jersey Shore, and my darling Momma was coming to her final days in Chicago...I had been visiting her, helping her, for two weeks out of every month at that point...here's something I wrote:
"So, I do what I can...My Momma, as she decays and leaves this life, drifts up from wherever she daily dwells, and looks at me and tells me how much she loves me, and how brave and good a daughter I am being.....she totally acknowledges me, and I watch her refine and refine, until a bare essence of who she is remains....
A flame burns truly inside older people - if you can get past the debris of aging - the flame is there to behold and be warmed by....these people, bent by time and illness,have been there, seen it, done it all before us - their flames can be beacons if we want them to be - They have forgoten more about life, these old ones,than I have yet to learn."
Then I go on to tell a story about a woman in Momma's nursing home named Adelaide, who had lost her every-day mind, but, having once been a concert pianist, one day sat down at a piano while I was there, and gave Momma and me a concert from the depths of her lost memories..I sang with her...we all three cried...no one else shared this but the three of us...we were in the basement rec room...ono one else around. I will never forget my Momma's eyes that afternoon...
My journals are so filled with life...I wonder what i shall do with it all.
Saturday, June 17, 2006
BILL , the Magnificent Clown...
and lovely, gracious teacher ! BILL IRWIN!!! Wow! Was he terrific with the Immersion students yesterday!!!
I may have the notion in me to cut down on my actual performing as an actress....8 shows a week and the committment to do each one fully, joyously, may be a thing of my past...BUT, one thing that will never pale is my love of watching great artists do their work! And yesterday I had the privilege of watching one of the masters at work...that's one thing about this New School Summer Musical Theater Immersion Experience: it has gathered great artists together to do a series of Master Classes that are thrilling. And each and every student enrolled in the Immersion knows they are in the presence of special people, so the hours are filled with a sort of joy of learning I have rarely experienced.
It amazes and delights me that every day I walk away from The New School, I have learned something new. Artists like Judy Kuhn, Michelle Pawk, Donna McKecknie, Bill Irwin, Karen Ludwig, Bob Lupone...I mean, there is soooo much to learn in the world and it is supreme arrogance to think we know it all, as certain teachers sadly do think they do know: it all.....and of course, one of the landmark qualitities of all these great artists is their humility....so refreshing. So endearing. And deep deep fun!
I am so grateful that Diane Wondisford and Keith Buehl were good enough to include me in this initial Immersion outing.
All of us together, along with the adorable and gifted Nova Thomas and the dear Chuck Maryan have created this first curriculum out of whole cloth, and the combination of our expertise and experiences has yielded something exciting....I can feel each class i teach and each class Nova teaches all string together to create something deepening and rich....we are all so on the same page as far as goal and mission are concerned...we all seem to speak the same language of artistic development....what really matters to all of us seems to be the enriching of each individual student to his or her fullest potential. Extreme attention is being paid to each individual. It all feels so right. And since this is the pilot program for a deepening MFA Program at The New School and for future Summer Immersions as well, there is a feeling of creativity.
I have been approached lately about writing a column for BACKSTAGE, the theater trade paper....from what i gather, people at the paper, inluding my dear pal Erik Haagensen who wrote A FINE AND PRIVATE PLACE, have been dipping into and reading this blog and found my writing intriguing enough to offer the suggestion that I might write something for the paper....topics ranging from various actor training approaches to topics like why I might want to quit acting and do other things (like write)...so, I guess conversations will proceed in that direction...we shall see.
Once long ago, a psychic told me I would be a writer....wouldn't that be weird if I launched into that area of my life fully now? Sure I have always kept journals, and ( I shamefully admit) always thought people would want to read them one day...but to actually get paid for writing stuff people will read? Never crossed my mind.
Hmmmm...life is so cool.
We went to the Jewel Heart Sangha the other evening... we sat meditation for a while. Talked with a member or two...very nice people filled us in on the doings in their community. I would now like to experience the Insight Meditation Sangha....just to see what that is like. So far, Tibet House and Menla feel the best to me. But the search is interesting. I am reading The Tibetan Book of the Dead right now...though that is not what it is really called....something more along the lines of Inner Meditations and Journey through the Betweens....since Tibetans do not think there is any such thing as Death....amazing stuff....a Thurman translation. Amazing stuff.
SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO much to learn!
I may have the notion in me to cut down on my actual performing as an actress....8 shows a week and the committment to do each one fully, joyously, may be a thing of my past...BUT, one thing that will never pale is my love of watching great artists do their work! And yesterday I had the privilege of watching one of the masters at work...that's one thing about this New School Summer Musical Theater Immersion Experience: it has gathered great artists together to do a series of Master Classes that are thrilling. And each and every student enrolled in the Immersion knows they are in the presence of special people, so the hours are filled with a sort of joy of learning I have rarely experienced.
It amazes and delights me that every day I walk away from The New School, I have learned something new. Artists like Judy Kuhn, Michelle Pawk, Donna McKecknie, Bill Irwin, Karen Ludwig, Bob Lupone...I mean, there is soooo much to learn in the world and it is supreme arrogance to think we know it all, as certain teachers sadly do think they do know: it all.....and of course, one of the landmark qualitities of all these great artists is their humility....so refreshing. So endearing. And deep deep fun!
I am so grateful that Diane Wondisford and Keith Buehl were good enough to include me in this initial Immersion outing.
All of us together, along with the adorable and gifted Nova Thomas and the dear Chuck Maryan have created this first curriculum out of whole cloth, and the combination of our expertise and experiences has yielded something exciting....I can feel each class i teach and each class Nova teaches all string together to create something deepening and rich....we are all so on the same page as far as goal and mission are concerned...we all seem to speak the same language of artistic development....what really matters to all of us seems to be the enriching of each individual student to his or her fullest potential. Extreme attention is being paid to each individual. It all feels so right. And since this is the pilot program for a deepening MFA Program at The New School and for future Summer Immersions as well, there is a feeling of creativity.
I have been approached lately about writing a column for BACKSTAGE, the theater trade paper....from what i gather, people at the paper, inluding my dear pal Erik Haagensen who wrote A FINE AND PRIVATE PLACE, have been dipping into and reading this blog and found my writing intriguing enough to offer the suggestion that I might write something for the paper....topics ranging from various actor training approaches to topics like why I might want to quit acting and do other things (like write)...so, I guess conversations will proceed in that direction...we shall see.
Once long ago, a psychic told me I would be a writer....wouldn't that be weird if I launched into that area of my life fully now? Sure I have always kept journals, and ( I shamefully admit) always thought people would want to read them one day...but to actually get paid for writing stuff people will read? Never crossed my mind.
Hmmmm...life is so cool.
We went to the Jewel Heart Sangha the other evening... we sat meditation for a while. Talked with a member or two...very nice people filled us in on the doings in their community. I would now like to experience the Insight Meditation Sangha....just to see what that is like. So far, Tibet House and Menla feel the best to me. But the search is interesting. I am reading The Tibetan Book of the Dead right now...though that is not what it is really called....something more along the lines of Inner Meditations and Journey through the Betweens....since Tibetans do not think there is any such thing as Death....amazing stuff....a Thurman translation. Amazing stuff.
SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO much to learn!
Thursday, June 15, 2006
Sweet Fresh Berries and Art...
...both joyous proof that it is good to be alive this day!!
I started out the early morning with a brewed coffee and a bowlful of large, juicy blackberries...berries that burst between my teeth with an expression of immediate sweetness and gently resistant crunch, a sweet sweet protest, a giving up of its wondrous gift of juice and joy...i'm tellingyou, those large sumptuous blackberries were a definite treat....bare, raw, deeply yummy blackberries...mmmmmmm.
The coffee was good too.
Then i completed some paperwork for Susan Einhorn over at Queens College: they have offered me a class to teach in the Fall semester: Musical Theater...it would dove-tail nicely with my two NYU classes, making for a very long Wednesday, but totally do-able, and I feel honored that Susan and Charles Repole want me for the position. Though the offer seems firm, there are some things the College needs for its files, like resumes, recommendationa, MFA proofs,etc. that I have never had to gather before in this way, and so it has been good for me to do so. Susan Einhorn, an old friend from I CAN'T KEEP RUNNING IN PLACE years ago at The Westside Arts Theater....a terrific director, a good woman, a brilliant one,really. She's been at Queens College for many years now, tenured, I would think. And so it is nice to know she thought of me for the job.
MEANWHILE, The New School Musical Theater Summer Immersion is well underway and it has been a busy week! I was downtown at the Bank Street Building (formerly Westbeth Collective) by 8:00 Mnday morning of this week, and I did not see daylight until 6:00 pm! Since the New School has never done this particular program before, with this particular gathering of teachers and this newly-invented curriculum full of teaching and Master Classes, we were all running arund like maniacs making it work well. Thank God it was all in one building that day! And as it turned out, the day was great and productive: a good way to kick off the entire 15 day process. After an initial morning meeting, the 19 students came to Room 206, where I started them out with an entire Relaxation Is The Most Important Thing In Life process that seemed to truly get them set for what was ahead for them all....it was gratifying to see it work so well. And we went right into the Round Robin of Song exercise, enabling them all to open their mouths in front of each other for the first time! It also gave Nova and me a chance to hear what we have to work with . And, as usual, it was really fun! Phillip, my class pianist, is terrific! He happens to be an old pal of my niece Riachel too! Small world .
Anyway, then they had a short break before they went into singing yet another song in a more formal format, in the 3rd Floor Theater...I do believe that the earlier relaxation exercise made them perform better than they otherwise would have. In any event, it gave us all another chance to see what they were like, so we could then go ahead and cast them in short musical scenes to be handed out later that day.
After lunch, they had the pleasure of being in a Master Class with Judy Kuhn, who I had the most fun watching teach. Judy and i have not really spoken in depth since we did RAGS together some 20 years ago! (She pointed out the particular passage of time, shocking us both)..and it was terrific to see her be so relaxed and nurturing and effective with the students....she was deeply inspiring, as she instructed them in the ways of breathing through the language of a song to genuinely inhabit it....I learned so much from watching her work. She managed to work with about 4 students and the difference in their singing and presentation was immediately visible. They felt it too. Judy Kuhn is a really good teacher. And we were able to catch up a bit on life as we have been living it over the past two decades! That was nice too.
The students then went into Nova's class, where she began to instruct them about Core Voice, ascertaining their Base Pitch, how speaking goes into singing,etc. I watched for a while and learned from her too! And that is fun to do. While she was teaching, I was organizing scenes and casting them for specific students. Stacy, our Administrative Assistant, beautifully copied them all and made them readable and decipherable for the kids to learn from. And she had it all ready for us by the 4:45 Synthesis Meeting with the students. We assigned and handed them out there and then, so they would have something to rehearse that evening with the pianists hired to help them. They all seemed thrilled with what I gave them to learn.
And by then it was nearly 6:00 and i could hardly stand I was so tired!
So I hopped a cab, made it home fast, kicked off my shoes, ate a lovey dinner made by the ever wondr0us Peter, and was asleep by 9:00pm!!! I slept through the night.
Which was good, because I had an early morning the next day!
And so it has been going.....yesterday they had a Master Class with Performance Psychologist Don Green...interesting approach to the work of auditioning...and Robert Lupone...a very interesting man who heads the New School Drama School...and Michelle Pawk, a wonderful singer and actress....there are so many lined up for them to learn from...I teach again tomorrow morning. And it is my job to help synthesize everything and pull it all together for them in their consciousness. So far, that has been easy and fun to do. I like this group.
Tonight, we are going down to a meditation study meeting at the Jewel Heart Sangha, which we have been hearing and reading about...also a Tibetean based Buddhist group.
I am deeply involved in reading so many wonderful books right now. It's a pleasure to go into our Meditation Room, shut the door, light some incense, chant and meditate...then read and read. A genuine source of relaxation and pleasure.
Peter and I are planning a trip to the West Coast in July with Paul and Steve. Pacific Ocean: HERE WE COME! San Francisco: OPEN YOUR GOLDEN GATES!
This all seems like part of a process that is opening and changing our lives in unexpected ways. Odd how performing in the theater aw an actress, a thing that has always been what I thought was a core of my identity, is morphing into other things that matter more...enriching things more in unimagined ways. Opening doors tp new understandings and more creative ways of being in this world. Honestly, life is such a surprise. So fluid and glorious.
And The Buddha knew this way way back then. Amazing.
I started out the early morning with a brewed coffee and a bowlful of large, juicy blackberries...berries that burst between my teeth with an expression of immediate sweetness and gently resistant crunch, a sweet sweet protest, a giving up of its wondrous gift of juice and joy...i'm tellingyou, those large sumptuous blackberries were a definite treat....bare, raw, deeply yummy blackberries...mmmmmmm.
The coffee was good too.
Then i completed some paperwork for Susan Einhorn over at Queens College: they have offered me a class to teach in the Fall semester: Musical Theater...it would dove-tail nicely with my two NYU classes, making for a very long Wednesday, but totally do-able, and I feel honored that Susan and Charles Repole want me for the position. Though the offer seems firm, there are some things the College needs for its files, like resumes, recommendationa, MFA proofs,etc. that I have never had to gather before in this way, and so it has been good for me to do so. Susan Einhorn, an old friend from I CAN'T KEEP RUNNING IN PLACE years ago at The Westside Arts Theater....a terrific director, a good woman, a brilliant one,really. She's been at Queens College for many years now, tenured, I would think. And so it is nice to know she thought of me for the job.
MEANWHILE, The New School Musical Theater Summer Immersion is well underway and it has been a busy week! I was downtown at the Bank Street Building (formerly Westbeth Collective) by 8:00 Mnday morning of this week, and I did not see daylight until 6:00 pm! Since the New School has never done this particular program before, with this particular gathering of teachers and this newly-invented curriculum full of teaching and Master Classes, we were all running arund like maniacs making it work well. Thank God it was all in one building that day! And as it turned out, the day was great and productive: a good way to kick off the entire 15 day process. After an initial morning meeting, the 19 students came to Room 206, where I started them out with an entire Relaxation Is The Most Important Thing In Life process that seemed to truly get them set for what was ahead for them all....it was gratifying to see it work so well. And we went right into the Round Robin of Song exercise, enabling them all to open their mouths in front of each other for the first time! It also gave Nova and me a chance to hear what we have to work with . And, as usual, it was really fun! Phillip, my class pianist, is terrific! He happens to be an old pal of my niece Riachel too! Small world .
Anyway, then they had a short break before they went into singing yet another song in a more formal format, in the 3rd Floor Theater...I do believe that the earlier relaxation exercise made them perform better than they otherwise would have. In any event, it gave us all another chance to see what they were like, so we could then go ahead and cast them in short musical scenes to be handed out later that day.
After lunch, they had the pleasure of being in a Master Class with Judy Kuhn, who I had the most fun watching teach. Judy and i have not really spoken in depth since we did RAGS together some 20 years ago! (She pointed out the particular passage of time, shocking us both)..and it was terrific to see her be so relaxed and nurturing and effective with the students....she was deeply inspiring, as she instructed them in the ways of breathing through the language of a song to genuinely inhabit it....I learned so much from watching her work. She managed to work with about 4 students and the difference in their singing and presentation was immediately visible. They felt it too. Judy Kuhn is a really good teacher. And we were able to catch up a bit on life as we have been living it over the past two decades! That was nice too.
The students then went into Nova's class, where she began to instruct them about Core Voice, ascertaining their Base Pitch, how speaking goes into singing,etc. I watched for a while and learned from her too! And that is fun to do. While she was teaching, I was organizing scenes and casting them for specific students. Stacy, our Administrative Assistant, beautifully copied them all and made them readable and decipherable for the kids to learn from. And she had it all ready for us by the 4:45 Synthesis Meeting with the students. We assigned and handed them out there and then, so they would have something to rehearse that evening with the pianists hired to help them. They all seemed thrilled with what I gave them to learn.
And by then it was nearly 6:00 and i could hardly stand I was so tired!
So I hopped a cab, made it home fast, kicked off my shoes, ate a lovey dinner made by the ever wondr0us Peter, and was asleep by 9:00pm!!! I slept through the night.
Which was good, because I had an early morning the next day!
And so it has been going.....yesterday they had a Master Class with Performance Psychologist Don Green...interesting approach to the work of auditioning...and Robert Lupone...a very interesting man who heads the New School Drama School...and Michelle Pawk, a wonderful singer and actress....there are so many lined up for them to learn from...I teach again tomorrow morning. And it is my job to help synthesize everything and pull it all together for them in their consciousness. So far, that has been easy and fun to do. I like this group.
Tonight, we are going down to a meditation study meeting at the Jewel Heart Sangha, which we have been hearing and reading about...also a Tibetean based Buddhist group.
I am deeply involved in reading so many wonderful books right now. It's a pleasure to go into our Meditation Room, shut the door, light some incense, chant and meditate...then read and read. A genuine source of relaxation and pleasure.
Peter and I are planning a trip to the West Coast in July with Paul and Steve. Pacific Ocean: HERE WE COME! San Francisco: OPEN YOUR GOLDEN GATES!
This all seems like part of a process that is opening and changing our lives in unexpected ways. Odd how performing in the theater aw an actress, a thing that has always been what I thought was a core of my identity, is morphing into other things that matter more...enriching things more in unimagined ways. Opening doors tp new understandings and more creative ways of being in this world. Honestly, life is such a surprise. So fluid and glorious.
And The Buddha knew this way way back then. Amazing.
Sunday, June 11, 2006
Watching the Tony Awards...
...the way I used to like when I was a kid....before I ever went to them in person or was nominated for one myself....watching at home, cozy and eating a nice dinner...Peter and I said we would not watch them, feigning disinterest....but, come one! Let's face it....it's like watching an accident on the highway: you are sort of compelled to look and see what blood is spilt! And who is wearing what while the disembowelment ensues! That sinking feeling when the other person's name is called...yet telling yourself: just being nominated is honor enough! And that mini-cam right at your feet, just in case you do win...it's all so human...jut like all of us: so human...so flawed and so wonderful!
So far: Ian McDermid has won Best Supporting Actor in a Play for FAITH HEALER...Frances De La Tour won for Bests Supporting Actress in HISTORY BOYS (Whata a classy dame!)...Kathleen Marshall won for Best Choreography in PAJAMA GAME...and a few have already gone to DROWSY CHAPERONE (I simply cannot remember the writers'names....though by tomorrow, I will know them...Kasey Nicklaw did NOT win for his choreograhpy of that show, but he may win for Best Director...and dear Jane Houdyshell did NOT win for WELL.....and she was the popular favorite... nope....John Dlyle just won Best Director of a Musical for SWEENEY TODD....too bad for all those who lost...which is why i hate competition of any sort...i always feel bad for those who lose! Even in baseball....
It's so interesting....this Brit John Doyle is also classy: he speaks up for it never being too late....so far, British people have swept the awards....and since Canada is still a British colony, even THE DROWSY CHAPERONE is British-based...
wow....
JERSEY BOYS looks really fun...and if Des MacAnuf directed it (I worked with him in BIG RIVER) then it is undoubtedly theatrical...he, however , did not win Best Director,even though nominated...see where I'm going with all this?
It's all so silly: how can you compare artists? I realize the Tony's are an important publicity event for the entire Broadway scene...it helps advertise all the shows...and demographiscs show it does make a difference in ticket sales...and that is good...really it is,
Tomorrow, at 8:00 am sharp, the New School Immersion starts...I will share a cab downtown with Nova THomas and Keith Buehl...two new friends I have come to love...
Nova is a woman, an amazing singer and teacher with whom I share the acting class duties, and she and I have just about decided we are twins separated at birth! So deeply simpatico. And our planning conversations have been amazingly creative...also really fun! And together I think we have put together a terrific curriculum for the Immersion....
THE WEDDING SINGER looks sweet...great energy...at last , a show that looks and feels like a Broadway show....lots of good dancing...
The Intiman Theater in Seattle got a special Regional Theater Tony...Barter deserves one again...it got one of the first long ago...
Well....Best Featured Actress in a Musical is: (the envelope please) Beth Leavel...(for Drowsy Chaperone)..I did THE JAZZ SINGER with Beth a while back at Jewish Rep...nice lady...
Well....THREEPENNY actually looks interesting to me...i adore the way it looks...the style of it...hmmmm...okay enough of this..I have to get ready for tomorrow....
Another year, another Tony Ceremony...memories flood the corners of my mind...
So far: Ian McDermid has won Best Supporting Actor in a Play for FAITH HEALER...Frances De La Tour won for Bests Supporting Actress in HISTORY BOYS (Whata a classy dame!)...Kathleen Marshall won for Best Choreography in PAJAMA GAME...and a few have already gone to DROWSY CHAPERONE (I simply cannot remember the writers'names....though by tomorrow, I will know them...Kasey Nicklaw did NOT win for his choreograhpy of that show, but he may win for Best Director...and dear Jane Houdyshell did NOT win for WELL.....and she was the popular favorite... nope....John Dlyle just won Best Director of a Musical for SWEENEY TODD....too bad for all those who lost...which is why i hate competition of any sort...i always feel bad for those who lose! Even in baseball....
It's so interesting....this Brit John Doyle is also classy: he speaks up for it never being too late....so far, British people have swept the awards....and since Canada is still a British colony, even THE DROWSY CHAPERONE is British-based...
wow....
JERSEY BOYS looks really fun...and if Des MacAnuf directed it (I worked with him in BIG RIVER) then it is undoubtedly theatrical...he, however , did not win Best Director,even though nominated...see where I'm going with all this?
It's all so silly: how can you compare artists? I realize the Tony's are an important publicity event for the entire Broadway scene...it helps advertise all the shows...and demographiscs show it does make a difference in ticket sales...and that is good...really it is,
Tomorrow, at 8:00 am sharp, the New School Immersion starts...I will share a cab downtown with Nova THomas and Keith Buehl...two new friends I have come to love...
Nova is a woman, an amazing singer and teacher with whom I share the acting class duties, and she and I have just about decided we are twins separated at birth! So deeply simpatico. And our planning conversations have been amazingly creative...also really fun! And together I think we have put together a terrific curriculum for the Immersion....
THE WEDDING SINGER looks sweet...great energy...at last , a show that looks and feels like a Broadway show....lots of good dancing...
The Intiman Theater in Seattle got a special Regional Theater Tony...Barter deserves one again...it got one of the first long ago...
Well....Best Featured Actress in a Musical is: (the envelope please) Beth Leavel...(for Drowsy Chaperone)..I did THE JAZZ SINGER with Beth a while back at Jewish Rep...nice lady...
Well....THREEPENNY actually looks interesting to me...i adore the way it looks...the style of it...hmmmm...okay enough of this..I have to get ready for tomorrow....
Another year, another Tony Ceremony...memories flood the corners of my mind...
Wednesday, June 07, 2006
And The Rain It Raineth Everyday...
...or so it seems...another moist and drenchy day ...cooling, calming in a certain way...I like it! Especially since i do not have to go out into it!
I am being blessed with time to really meditate and relax this week...for this I am grateful....as much as I appreciate and admire all my wonderful commercial agents (and they are the best in town, Access Talent and Abrams Artists (no question), I am equally glad they seem to have little to call me about this week...I am taking advantage of this "down time" to rest and read and meditate and read some more...I know how busy it all can become, and how crunched it will be starting nest week....so I am glad for this breather...
Very,very glad.
Love your enemy, don't bomb them....I am learning that a Bodhisattva has no enemy...the only thing to hate is hatred itself...forgive instead..."red light yoga": stop, meditate, then act...practise tolerance...this is the hard work of it, but it can be done...there is heat in hatred, so it's a matter of learning how to release the heat in ways that celebrate not harm...
Our President Bush is celebratng the fact that one of our strategic bombings in Iraq finally killed a major terrorist...Alzaqowi, or something like that...perfect political timing, as this president is most unpopular right now...but to celebrate the death of another human being now seems very sad to me...we are a nation of bloodthirsty sad people, if we must get joy out of killing anyone , even if we feel the killing is "right"...the sad sad lessons of karma and retribution are not only unheeded here, but they are virtually unknown in any way, so people operate as if there are no consequences to their actions...as if death is some sort of punishment to the other...when we kill, the consequences come back to us and harm us...and sadly, the history of mankind is mainly that of who kills whom....
Why give our enemies the satisfaction of our fury? Why do we insist on being defined by that? What an amazing thing it is that we have the option NOT to go down that road....we can choose other than tormenting our minds that way. We must remember instead what is really important. When we are enraged we have only tunnel vision, seeing only narrowly....the same as with attachment. Meditate on how to get with and through the anger so you can reach compassion and lovingkindness. One MUST cultivate compassion for the person that is so hateful...feel sorry for them. A compassionate way is not a painless way, but it is the right way. MINDFULNESS takes apart the chord of rage and finds the separate notes...it is never just one note..pay attention to the details...hate what they do , not who they are...
Gandhi said that the key to non-violent demonstration is satriyagaha, translated as the truth of what's right. The key is not to hate the other but to confront them with compassionate questions...It's vital to learn to be present with even the worst stuff...not to call it "the enemy".
I have so much to learn, and I have to be patient with myself because now seems to be my time to learn it.
I am being blessed with time to really meditate and relax this week...for this I am grateful....as much as I appreciate and admire all my wonderful commercial agents (and they are the best in town, Access Talent and Abrams Artists (no question), I am equally glad they seem to have little to call me about this week...I am taking advantage of this "down time" to rest and read and meditate and read some more...I know how busy it all can become, and how crunched it will be starting nest week....so I am glad for this breather...
Very,very glad.
Love your enemy, don't bomb them....I am learning that a Bodhisattva has no enemy...the only thing to hate is hatred itself...forgive instead..."red light yoga": stop, meditate, then act...practise tolerance...this is the hard work of it, but it can be done...there is heat in hatred, so it's a matter of learning how to release the heat in ways that celebrate not harm...
Our President Bush is celebratng the fact that one of our strategic bombings in Iraq finally killed a major terrorist...Alzaqowi, or something like that...perfect political timing, as this president is most unpopular right now...but to celebrate the death of another human being now seems very sad to me...we are a nation of bloodthirsty sad people, if we must get joy out of killing anyone , even if we feel the killing is "right"...the sad sad lessons of karma and retribution are not only unheeded here, but they are virtually unknown in any way, so people operate as if there are no consequences to their actions...as if death is some sort of punishment to the other...when we kill, the consequences come back to us and harm us...and sadly, the history of mankind is mainly that of who kills whom....
Why give our enemies the satisfaction of our fury? Why do we insist on being defined by that? What an amazing thing it is that we have the option NOT to go down that road....we can choose other than tormenting our minds that way. We must remember instead what is really important. When we are enraged we have only tunnel vision, seeing only narrowly....the same as with attachment. Meditate on how to get with and through the anger so you can reach compassion and lovingkindness. One MUST cultivate compassion for the person that is so hateful...feel sorry for them. A compassionate way is not a painless way, but it is the right way. MINDFULNESS takes apart the chord of rage and finds the separate notes...it is never just one note..pay attention to the details...hate what they do , not who they are...
Gandhi said that the key to non-violent demonstration is satriyagaha, translated as the truth of what's right. The key is not to hate the other but to confront them with compassionate questions...It's vital to learn to be present with even the worst stuff...not to call it "the enemy".
I have so much to learn, and I have to be patient with myself because now seems to be my time to learn it.
Sunday, June 04, 2006
Wet Weekend...
....wet,wet,wet weekend up here at the Upstate House...gorgeous, green and wet. Constant rains. Delicious and good for the Earth. Also, good weather to snuggle inside and read about Buddhism...currently I am enthralled with CIRCLING THE SACRED MOUNTAIN by Robert Thurman and Tad Wise...about their pilgrimage to Mount Kailash in Tibet.
TUESDAY, JUNE 6TH, 2006
Got so busy and deeply involved in the reading of all the wonderful books i was reading over the weekend, time flew away from me before I had time to continue my weekend blog entry....wow. I really went on a journey with the CIRCLING THE SACRED MOUNTAIN...one of the most impressive books i have ever read. It is so deeply about essential Buddhism that I feel as if I completed a class at Columbia by reading it.Robert Thurman is an inspired teacher. As it happens, (and I did not know this when I started reading it), but the very Blade Wheel Mind Reform Meditation that Thurman spoke to the group in the book about is the subject of the Dalai Lama's visit here in September. And it's all about self and other, peace, cutting through our obsessively self-centered hold on our world, directing the healing toward other beings,etc. It's about so much. And he presented it so vibrantly. That, coupled with the arduous trek around the Sacred Mt.Kalaish, made the journey for the reader , at least for me, dramatic and, as I said above, impressive.
Anyway...here we are back in the city, and so much lies ahead to do...I am determined to take this week easily, since the New School onslaught begins this coming Monday, and that should take about all the energy I can manage to give it!
It will be a brief but intense time. So this week, I rest.
And continue to read and study.....think about what lies ahead for me in terms of teaching...and what I want to give...how I want to give it....in fact, why I want to give it....my aims and goals are changing...what really matters to me is changing.
A journal quote from May 27th, Saturday of the Menla Retreat Weekend:
"Buddhism is a service industry, definitely..."..."Generosity is not just the giving, it's the willingness to give..."
Buddhism's main service is education...what do beings really want and need? What gives beings power is the condition of their minds...Buddhism educates...rather than cover the world in leather, put sandals on your own feet to make the journey smoother....
History is most often told from the point of view of the CONQUERORS, so the history of beauty,education, service,and art is often not written in the history books....not to invade, but to meditate is geniune service....
What are WE part of? How do WE inter-connect? How do WE invest?
There is a general idea out in the world that Buddhists do not enjoy life...that they suffer...that they do not live real lives...they just sit in their monasteries and deprive themselves ..."monk"...from "monos" ---"alone"...
IN FACT: In the East, one belongs to a community (sangha),and by being part of it, one is released, free! People go to monasteries to hang out with the monks because they are so carefree and balanced...therefore: self-compassion is an awareness of the privileges of the joy of life..your life...joined with others.
Protestant ethic: "there is no free lunch"
Buddhist/Monastic thought: "Life IS free lunch!" (which is to say: enjoy the abundance we all have to share with each other....the joys of life...do not begrudge them or be stingy with them.)
From INNER REVOLUTION, page 103:
"Monasticism institutionalized the primacy of the individual's life-purpose of enlightenment over the collective purposes of survival and production".
Compassion: etymology: ceasing of pleasure...you notice the suffering of others and give up your pleasure...taking on others' suffering only creates more suffering...the Buddhist thing is to transform it to bliss: the real happiness , the type that IS the Universe and never depletes....NIRVANA SUTRA...Shariputra challenged Buddha: HELP US! Buddha told the mother of a sick child: too much milk would sicken it further, so she smeared her nipples with a bitter substance so the baby spits out her milk until it is healthier and ready and strong enough not to be sickened by it...wise compassion...fierce compassion.
We never say there is one Buddha...and we never say there are many...in the reality body, all Buddhas are one..but each being who feels separate enjoys the ability to become one , so why rob them of that pleasure? (This is so deeply metaphysical...and therefore appeals to me so much more deeply than simply saying WE ARE ALL BUDDHAS....the journey is all, as far as I can see)...
"There is no higher happiness than Peace...but Peace does not mean "Apathy".
Daisaku Ikeda , in his many writings, refers to "the Buddha"...in fact, in so much of what I read everywhere, Buddha is referred to as "the Buddha"...referring, no doubt , to Shakyamuni, the Buddha of our time...his particular sutra writings,etc. People do need points of particularization...reference points, as it were.
The nature of man, the way we play all the games we play in this lifetime, on this planet, during this epoch...far too complicated and absurd to simply say "this way" is the only way to explicate and explain....I am far more attracted to the intricate metaphysics of Tibetan Buddhism, its fantastical imagination and expression, than I ever imagined i could be. There is an aesthetic brilliance to its centuries of experience and evolution. So deeply moving.
ANYWAY: soon, I will be able to write of other things besides the influence of this new study of mine....but right now, that seems to be the most important thing going on for my life...and i feel it changing my life in ways subtle and powerful.
Show business and my career....Peter's career....hmmm....lucky for me, right now, it is slow and quiet right now...perfect for growth of this nature.
TUESDAY, JUNE 6TH, 2006
Got so busy and deeply involved in the reading of all the wonderful books i was reading over the weekend, time flew away from me before I had time to continue my weekend blog entry....wow. I really went on a journey with the CIRCLING THE SACRED MOUNTAIN...one of the most impressive books i have ever read. It is so deeply about essential Buddhism that I feel as if I completed a class at Columbia by reading it.Robert Thurman is an inspired teacher. As it happens, (and I did not know this when I started reading it), but the very Blade Wheel Mind Reform Meditation that Thurman spoke to the group in the book about is the subject of the Dalai Lama's visit here in September. And it's all about self and other, peace, cutting through our obsessively self-centered hold on our world, directing the healing toward other beings,etc. It's about so much. And he presented it so vibrantly. That, coupled with the arduous trek around the Sacred Mt.Kalaish, made the journey for the reader , at least for me, dramatic and, as I said above, impressive.
Anyway...here we are back in the city, and so much lies ahead to do...I am determined to take this week easily, since the New School onslaught begins this coming Monday, and that should take about all the energy I can manage to give it!
It will be a brief but intense time. So this week, I rest.
And continue to read and study.....think about what lies ahead for me in terms of teaching...and what I want to give...how I want to give it....in fact, why I want to give it....my aims and goals are changing...what really matters to me is changing.
A journal quote from May 27th, Saturday of the Menla Retreat Weekend:
"Buddhism is a service industry, definitely..."..."Generosity is not just the giving, it's the willingness to give..."
Buddhism's main service is education...what do beings really want and need? What gives beings power is the condition of their minds...Buddhism educates...rather than cover the world in leather, put sandals on your own feet to make the journey smoother....
History is most often told from the point of view of the CONQUERORS, so the history of beauty,education, service,and art is often not written in the history books....not to invade, but to meditate is geniune service....
What are WE part of? How do WE inter-connect? How do WE invest?
There is a general idea out in the world that Buddhists do not enjoy life...that they suffer...that they do not live real lives...they just sit in their monasteries and deprive themselves ..."monk"...from "monos" ---"alone"...
IN FACT: In the East, one belongs to a community (sangha),and by being part of it, one is released, free! People go to monasteries to hang out with the monks because they are so carefree and balanced...therefore: self-compassion is an awareness of the privileges of the joy of life..your life...joined with others.
Protestant ethic: "there is no free lunch"
Buddhist/Monastic thought: "Life IS free lunch!" (which is to say: enjoy the abundance we all have to share with each other....the joys of life...do not begrudge them or be stingy with them.)
From INNER REVOLUTION, page 103:
"Monasticism institutionalized the primacy of the individual's life-purpose of enlightenment over the collective purposes of survival and production".
Compassion: etymology: ceasing of pleasure...you notice the suffering of others and give up your pleasure...taking on others' suffering only creates more suffering...the Buddhist thing is to transform it to bliss: the real happiness , the type that IS the Universe and never depletes....NIRVANA SUTRA...Shariputra challenged Buddha: HELP US! Buddha told the mother of a sick child: too much milk would sicken it further, so she smeared her nipples with a bitter substance so the baby spits out her milk until it is healthier and ready and strong enough not to be sickened by it...wise compassion...fierce compassion.
We never say there is one Buddha...and we never say there are many...in the reality body, all Buddhas are one..but each being who feels separate enjoys the ability to become one , so why rob them of that pleasure? (This is so deeply metaphysical...and therefore appeals to me so much more deeply than simply saying WE ARE ALL BUDDHAS....the journey is all, as far as I can see)...
"There is no higher happiness than Peace...but Peace does not mean "Apathy".
Daisaku Ikeda , in his many writings, refers to "the Buddha"...in fact, in so much of what I read everywhere, Buddha is referred to as "the Buddha"...referring, no doubt , to Shakyamuni, the Buddha of our time...his particular sutra writings,etc. People do need points of particularization...reference points, as it were.
The nature of man, the way we play all the games we play in this lifetime, on this planet, during this epoch...far too complicated and absurd to simply say "this way" is the only way to explicate and explain....I am far more attracted to the intricate metaphysics of Tibetan Buddhism, its fantastical imagination and expression, than I ever imagined i could be. There is an aesthetic brilliance to its centuries of experience and evolution. So deeply moving.
ANYWAY: soon, I will be able to write of other things besides the influence of this new study of mine....but right now, that seems to be the most important thing going on for my life...and i feel it changing my life in ways subtle and powerful.
Show business and my career....Peter's career....hmmm....lucky for me, right now, it is slow and quiet right now...perfect for growth of this nature.
Thursday, June 01, 2006
Day of Silence
...and more from my Journal....
Friday, May 26, 2006...First Full Day of Retreat - Menla Mountain Retreat
DAY OF SILENCE 7:40 a.m.
Birds fall utterly silent at night, I feel compelled to note. Last night, as I was snuggling down into my deeply comfortable trundle bed (the place is so well outfitted, the sheets so luxe) I realized one of the reasons it was so quiet: all the birds had shut up! No twits,chirps,songs of any kind! A wall of birdless silence! Yummy.
So.They sleep when we do. And last night, I didn't have to try too hard at all: I was fast in slumber by 10:30 pm! and slept gorgeously...wakened a couple of times by what?...the silence? Possibly.
I feel terrific this gorgeous morning and boy are those birds awake now! And singing!
Layer upon layer of sound. Intricate. Full.
BIRD ROCK
Detroit's Wall of Sound
Has nothing
On this concert in these hills.
With not a single
Lick
Of elec-
Tricity
Not one single FX pedal,
These countless birds
Put their hearts
To the metal
And together
We roar in a cascade
A rush -
-Ssshhh
Of creamy
Song. Glory. Rush.
Shhh.
8:00 am...Breakfast...My first day of silence, ever. And we will be silent until
6:00 pm dinner. Paul is still asleep. I will wake him at 9:00. Our morning session starts at 9:30.
Sounds of silence: I can hear the man next to me crunch his granola...even the yogurt and blackberries he has bathed the cereal in do not soften that audible toothy crunch. Everytime someone pours a glass of water, it sounds ike a stream rushing over stones in the forest! A delightful sound, usually only paid attention to IN the woods. Dishes clatter. Spoons tinkle.
People rush through the meal.
Humidity hangs lightly. The kitchen staff is clearly not part of our day of silence. They are jovial in the kitchen, where we are not allowed to enter!
Nearing 9:30....I am alone in the large hall, trying to get my body stretched enough so it will not rebel from a day of sitting meditation. I sit on the same cushion I sat on last night..I am not sure why. But I am determined NOT TO SIT IN A CHAIR!
We begin. Jewel Tree Field is now open and we are silent.
Every moment a new ache.
Menla is in the Pantherkill Valley...Panthers are blue-black, like the Menla gods...the medicine Buddhas...AIM: to Manifest the 8 Medicine Buddhas in the West: to heal the planet. EVERYTHING IS MEDICINE. EVERY SINGLE THING. Enlightened beings see the world in this way. Everything is giving itself to everything else to heal it! How generous. Even when we die , we heal. We fall into an ocean of healing. We become aware of our interconnectedness and healing.
When we view compassion as maudlin or misconceived, in a way, we are assuming that someone else is in a state of suffering, that THEY are in a fixed state of pain and we are not...that only maintains the boundary between THEM and US...Heedless of the actual situation (dead to the truth) that we are all suffering the same...our awareness of the impermanence of all things allows to see this and know we are ALL the same: suffering the same joys and sorrows...we ARE all each other.
To know this, we are not trapped in the notion that "they" cannot be healed. WISE COMPASSION knows we are all in this together.
Robert Thuman is a jazz artist: he speaks in brilliant riffs, talks on and travels unexpected roads. His mind cannot be contained. I am honored to be in his presence.
Friday, May 26, 2006...First Full Day of Retreat - Menla Mountain Retreat
DAY OF SILENCE 7:40 a.m.
Birds fall utterly silent at night, I feel compelled to note. Last night, as I was snuggling down into my deeply comfortable trundle bed (the place is so well outfitted, the sheets so luxe) I realized one of the reasons it was so quiet: all the birds had shut up! No twits,chirps,songs of any kind! A wall of birdless silence! Yummy.
So.They sleep when we do. And last night, I didn't have to try too hard at all: I was fast in slumber by 10:30 pm! and slept gorgeously...wakened a couple of times by what?...the silence? Possibly.
I feel terrific this gorgeous morning and boy are those birds awake now! And singing!
Layer upon layer of sound. Intricate. Full.
BIRD ROCK
Detroit's Wall of Sound
Has nothing
On this concert in these hills.
With not a single
Lick
Of elec-
Tricity
Not one single FX pedal,
These countless birds
Put their hearts
To the metal
And together
We roar in a cascade
A rush -
-Ssshhh
Of creamy
Song. Glory. Rush.
Shhh.
8:00 am...Breakfast...My first day of silence, ever. And we will be silent until
6:00 pm dinner. Paul is still asleep. I will wake him at 9:00. Our morning session starts at 9:30.
Sounds of silence: I can hear the man next to me crunch his granola...even the yogurt and blackberries he has bathed the cereal in do not soften that audible toothy crunch. Everytime someone pours a glass of water, it sounds ike a stream rushing over stones in the forest! A delightful sound, usually only paid attention to IN the woods. Dishes clatter. Spoons tinkle.
People rush through the meal.
Humidity hangs lightly. The kitchen staff is clearly not part of our day of silence. They are jovial in the kitchen, where we are not allowed to enter!
Nearing 9:30....I am alone in the large hall, trying to get my body stretched enough so it will not rebel from a day of sitting meditation. I sit on the same cushion I sat on last night..I am not sure why. But I am determined NOT TO SIT IN A CHAIR!
We begin. Jewel Tree Field is now open and we are silent.
Every moment a new ache.
Menla is in the Pantherkill Valley...Panthers are blue-black, like the Menla gods...the medicine Buddhas...AIM: to Manifest the 8 Medicine Buddhas in the West: to heal the planet. EVERYTHING IS MEDICINE. EVERY SINGLE THING. Enlightened beings see the world in this way. Everything is giving itself to everything else to heal it! How generous. Even when we die , we heal. We fall into an ocean of healing. We become aware of our interconnectedness and healing.
When we view compassion as maudlin or misconceived, in a way, we are assuming that someone else is in a state of suffering, that THEY are in a fixed state of pain and we are not...that only maintains the boundary between THEM and US...Heedless of the actual situation (dead to the truth) that we are all suffering the same...our awareness of the impermanence of all things allows to see this and know we are ALL the same: suffering the same joys and sorrows...we ARE all each other.
To know this, we are not trapped in the notion that "they" cannot be healed. WISE COMPASSION knows we are all in this together.
Robert Thuman is a jazz artist: he speaks in brilliant riffs, talks on and travels unexpected roads. His mind cannot be contained. I am honored to be in his presence.
