Tuesday, July 19, 2005
Sorry....
...to have been away from the blog for so many days but I do believe I have melted into just one more New York City puddle and,hence, have been rendered armless and fingerless to type....IT HAS BEEN HOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT here in this otherwise summer-charming City...that's HOT, HOT HOT....and pretty damned uncomfortable in the humidity range as well...it's all I can do to get from one appointment to another without any water left in my body, I have been perspiring so much...then the poor beleaguered body is SLAMMED with icy walls of conditioned air and every muscle that has practically melted is immediately frozen into a painful rigor...it has been a terrible part of the summer. I honestly don't recall such unbearable heat, such deeply unbreathable air and closeness ever before...
All that being said,CAP 21 classes have been proceeding swimmingly (the air-conditioning is broken down there too!!!!!) and the two classes I am teaching are filled with some of the best and brightest I have ever had the privilege to teach. The Pre-College group is amazing, and I amgrowing personally fond of each and every one of them, especially since they all work so hard and work even more, so that their scenes grow and they grow and the whole room is continually filled with those wonderful lightbulbs going off over their gifted heads...and I have assigned them some tough scenes too...that does not daunt them: they work and learn and work and produce results that would please any teacher...they make me cry with a sort of joy...I had forgotten what a room filled with extraordinary young talent is like...we feed each other on many levels...I am grateful.
The Professional Class is lovely, and also filled with sweet earnest spirits who love this music theater work so deeply. A pleasure. Also very open and willing.
Grateful!
Peter saw PRIMO a couple of weekends ago...starring Anthony Sher...he and I both went to see Mark Lamos' AS YOU LIKE IT in the Park last week...than you Mark for the house seats. Interestng design.
Went with dear Paul to s-end an entire day at the Upstate Chang Yen Monastery near the House, listening to Robert Thurman speak of the 4 Noble Truths of Buddhism, and also about the Flower Garland Sutra..incredibly stimulating for me to hear about the dense poetry in a sutra other than the inimitable Lotus, which of course still rules supreme....The Flower Garland Sutra, Thurman says, is not like reading poetry, it's more like swimming in an ocean of words, such words so beautiful and repetitive and echoing the Buddhas's preachings over and over, that it becomes rather like a chant in itself...i understood the power of why we chant portions of the Lotus Sutra daily...so much of what he spoke about made lovely sense...besides which: he is charming and erudite and relaxed and funny and dear.....he has been a Buddhist for over 50 years, and was in fact one of the first Westerners ever to be ordained a Tibetan Monk!...That did not stop him from marrying a lovely woman and producing the gorgeous Uma Thurman, along with other kids...nor did it hurt him on his way to becoming Head of the Department of Religion at Columbia University! He also founded Tibet House...an amazing man. I was thrilled and moved to be in his presence.
It was also very good to spend time with Paul and catch up on the endless conversation we seem to be living in as friends and souls. Darling Peter styaed home in NYC witht he doggies. He knows how much I value time with Paul.
I wrote Paul and Steve a poem for their joint birthdays July 18th...to be printed here soon...they loved it and Peter mounted it in a fun and engaging sort of montage and then we framed the whole thing and gave it as the gift. Peter found a fun picture of the two of them and that was the center of the montage, with the poem surrounding it...looked so good.
More soon, xxev
All that being said,CAP 21 classes have been proceeding swimmingly (the air-conditioning is broken down there too!!!!!) and the two classes I am teaching are filled with some of the best and brightest I have ever had the privilege to teach. The Pre-College group is amazing, and I amgrowing personally fond of each and every one of them, especially since they all work so hard and work even more, so that their scenes grow and they grow and the whole room is continually filled with those wonderful lightbulbs going off over their gifted heads...and I have assigned them some tough scenes too...that does not daunt them: they work and learn and work and produce results that would please any teacher...they make me cry with a sort of joy...I had forgotten what a room filled with extraordinary young talent is like...we feed each other on many levels...I am grateful.
The Professional Class is lovely, and also filled with sweet earnest spirits who love this music theater work so deeply. A pleasure. Also very open and willing.
Grateful!
Peter saw PRIMO a couple of weekends ago...starring Anthony Sher...he and I both went to see Mark Lamos' AS YOU LIKE IT in the Park last week...than you Mark for the house seats. Interestng design.
Went with dear Paul to s-end an entire day at the Upstate Chang Yen Monastery near the House, listening to Robert Thurman speak of the 4 Noble Truths of Buddhism, and also about the Flower Garland Sutra..incredibly stimulating for me to hear about the dense poetry in a sutra other than the inimitable Lotus, which of course still rules supreme....The Flower Garland Sutra, Thurman says, is not like reading poetry, it's more like swimming in an ocean of words, such words so beautiful and repetitive and echoing the Buddhas's preachings over and over, that it becomes rather like a chant in itself...i understood the power of why we chant portions of the Lotus Sutra daily...so much of what he spoke about made lovely sense...besides which: he is charming and erudite and relaxed and funny and dear.....he has been a Buddhist for over 50 years, and was in fact one of the first Westerners ever to be ordained a Tibetan Monk!...That did not stop him from marrying a lovely woman and producing the gorgeous Uma Thurman, along with other kids...nor did it hurt him on his way to becoming Head of the Department of Religion at Columbia University! He also founded Tibet House...an amazing man. I was thrilled and moved to be in his presence.
It was also very good to spend time with Paul and catch up on the endless conversation we seem to be living in as friends and souls. Darling Peter styaed home in NYC witht he doggies. He knows how much I value time with Paul.
I wrote Paul and Steve a poem for their joint birthdays July 18th...to be printed here soon...they loved it and Peter mounted it in a fun and engaging sort of montage and then we framed the whole thing and gave it as the gift. Peter found a fun picture of the two of them and that was the center of the montage, with the poem surrounding it...looked so good.
More soon, xxev
Tuesday, July 12, 2005
Ow!
So PILATES came into my life this morning and nearly did me in!!! I took a sample class at Reforming New York down on 42nd Street, and by the end I was nauseous and had the world's worst headache, but boy did my body feel great! They tell me the nausea and pain will lessen as I remember to breathe more and relax as i work...i sure as hell hope so...because boy! were those toxins flowing....i was so sick, i had to drink a bottle of water and sit and breathe a lot...another mistake on my part was I did not eat a morsel of food before this thing so that was probably stupid...at first the Pilates workout seems easy and gentle, but soon it feels more like what it is: using your own entire body weight to train yourself...I would like to keep at it, especially with several private sessions on the Reforming machines, to make sure I am doing it right, but I am a bit trepidatious about the headaches and sick-feeling stomach....one of the trainers told me that a client of his would literally vomit after her first few sessions...hmmm....how can that be good?
Anyway: at least my body was reminded for a while of how good it feels to stretch and work the muscles. I also met a couple of young actors who want to do a little acting-study with me, one of them in barter for private Pilates sessions...well, I dunno, but it's a possibility.
Ow.
Peter is doing a reading of GOGO BEACH for the writers (Mike Schaib and Brent Lord) next week...and teaching continues for me. It's fun to see the moment to moment progress of these eager young actors, little lightbulbs going off over their heads.
We are seeing AS YOU LIKE IT in Central Park this Friday night...Mark Lamos got us his house seats...then I run off to a day of Buddhism with Robert Thurman at the Zen Monastery near the Upstate house, in Carmel,NY...Saturday...all day....with Paul.
Ohm.
Anyway: at least my body was reminded for a while of how good it feels to stretch and work the muscles. I also met a couple of young actors who want to do a little acting-study with me, one of them in barter for private Pilates sessions...well, I dunno, but it's a possibility.
Ow.
Peter is doing a reading of GOGO BEACH for the writers (Mike Schaib and Brent Lord) next week...and teaching continues for me. It's fun to see the moment to moment progress of these eager young actors, little lightbulbs going off over their heads.
We are seeing AS YOU LIKE IT in Central Park this Friday night...Mark Lamos got us his house seats...then I run off to a day of Buddhism with Robert Thurman at the Zen Monastery near the Upstate house, in Carmel,NY...Saturday...all day....with Paul.
Ohm.
Saturday, July 09, 2005
Another Day Dawns Bright
...and the air is fresh and cool... I will go Upstate again today ...I have taught hard and well this whole week, and now I want to sit and chant and garden and read.
My dearest Drew gently admonished me about the despair I felt the day London was bombed....and about the way I expressed it in writing, suggesting that perhaps I had given a false sense of what Buddhism is about...especially our Nichiren Buddhism..summing it all up by saying that it is not what happens in the world as much as the way we re-act to and live with it...what we do in the aftermath of violence that determines how the world will heal,and how we ourselves will become stronger messengers of hope. Of course I agree with Drew.And still, there is an empty hole of essential meaninglessness at the core of every issue, which gives each "side" the license to interpret the issues any way they wish...and in that sense they believe that they ARE ABSOLUTELY RIGHT TO KILL US, because they believe that what they know to be true is indeed true...we feel the same about them and about what we believe to be true....they even think that people being killed and maimed is BOTH a punishment and a reward: i.e.they martyr themselves all the time to get at us, because then, they believe, they will go to their Heaven and get to fondle many pretty virgin girls!!! So for them DEATH has an entire other set of meanings....
That being said, looking at the entire thing as two sets of irate children harming each other in play, the "meaning" of it all does seem less than important...we cannot even agree on the idea of death being something bad....so...finally, it's all so stupid....mere destruction of physical matter, including flesh and bone...physical matter is destroyed every moment of every day and night...rather, physical matter changes. lable it any way you wish...destroyed, transformed,transmuted....and for each person of ours they kill, we have most certainly killed one of theirs...and so the world works.
And why? For what? Who the hell actually knows the "MEANING" of that one?
"They" ARE us. And we are them. And, unless you want to go down to a more basic philosophic level, what IS the meaning of that? Well, my bottom line is: I will certainly never kill someone else (I'd better watch what i write), and I am pretty damned sure I will never blow up a bus or a subway...also, whereas I view PEACE as an actual creative option, and terrorism as the opposite of that, there are brilliant people in the world who would totally disagree with me, and who would gladly kill me and anyone else in their path, who disagrees with them on that or any other subject. So, what is the meaning in that?
Finally, sadness IS an option. A good, human, tricky, often dark option. Sadness hurts. Tears honor. And despair? Well, there is that thing about having to hit bottom before genuine healing can begin. I respect that.
The entire human mess of it.
More later.
My dearest Drew gently admonished me about the despair I felt the day London was bombed....and about the way I expressed it in writing, suggesting that perhaps I had given a false sense of what Buddhism is about...especially our Nichiren Buddhism..summing it all up by saying that it is not what happens in the world as much as the way we re-act to and live with it...what we do in the aftermath of violence that determines how the world will heal,and how we ourselves will become stronger messengers of hope. Of course I agree with Drew.And still, there is an empty hole of essential meaninglessness at the core of every issue, which gives each "side" the license to interpret the issues any way they wish...and in that sense they believe that they ARE ABSOLUTELY RIGHT TO KILL US, because they believe that what they know to be true is indeed true...we feel the same about them and about what we believe to be true....they even think that people being killed and maimed is BOTH a punishment and a reward: i.e.they martyr themselves all the time to get at us, because then, they believe, they will go to their Heaven and get to fondle many pretty virgin girls!!! So for them DEATH has an entire other set of meanings....
That being said, looking at the entire thing as two sets of irate children harming each other in play, the "meaning" of it all does seem less than important...we cannot even agree on the idea of death being something bad....so...finally, it's all so stupid....mere destruction of physical matter, including flesh and bone...physical matter is destroyed every moment of every day and night...rather, physical matter changes. la
And why? For what? Who the hell actually knows the "MEANING" of that one?
"They" ARE us. And we are them. And, unless you want to go down to a more basic philosophic level, what IS the meaning of that? Well, my bottom line is: I will certainly never kill someone else (I'd better watch what i write), and I am pretty damned sure I will never blow up a bus or a subway...also, whereas I view PEACE as an actual creative option, and terrorism as the opposite of that, there are brilliant people in the world who would totally disagree with me, and who would gladly kill me and anyone else in their path, who disagrees with them on that or any other subject. So, what is the meaning in that?
Finally, sadness IS an option. A good, human, tricky, often dark option. Sadness hurts. Tears honor. And despair? Well, there is that thing about having to hit bottom before genuine healing can begin. I respect that.
The entire human mess of it.
More later.
Thursday, July 07, 2005
And so "they" have done it again...the wretched monsters who like to blow things up have blown up some subways and busses in London, yesterday, and people have died. TO see a London City bus, one of the famous red double-deckers,blown in half, and remembering how not long ago we were riding on them ourselves,sobers me into remembering we live in a savage world indeed....one that can harm us all, any hour of the night or day. Buddhism indeed has it right: we live in a flawed and disappointing world, where the only thing to be sure of is the stunning meaninglessness of it all....
On a brighter note: my dear old pal Mark Lamos has offered to get us his House Seats for his AS YOU LIKE IT in Central park, so I look forward to seeing that soon, before it closes on July 17th....it was good to chat with him online this morning, though the news of London makes us both sad...we will hope to have a drink on the 14th...
Heard from darling Cathy Lowe ,a friend from Abingdon who also happens to be the best hairstylist I have ever had the good fortune to sit in the chair of...she and her dear husband may be coming our way in September, and hopefully will stay in our Blue Room...I will enjoy that visit very very much. Hopefully, also, I will have gotten to Abingdon for a visit by then.
Teaching went well yesterday...one of my favorite things in life is to see those little (invisible) lightbulbs turn on above the heads of each student as they see the possibility of a new world for their talents...they "get" something, as we work, and the delight of the discovery shows so openly on their faces....makes me feel so good.For them and for me as well. It never fails that these realizations have something to do with their personal growth, not just their expansion as actors. A freeing of something that was trapped long ago...or the realization that their brains are far more capable and subtle than they had ever before thought.
I am driving Upstate for the day. The skies are grey, but the air is cool.
On a brighter note: my dear old pal Mark Lamos has offered to get us his House Seats for his AS YOU LIKE IT in Central park, so I look forward to seeing that soon, before it closes on July 17th....it was good to chat with him online this morning, though the news of London makes us both sad...we will hope to have a drink on the 14th...
Heard from darling Cathy Lowe ,a friend from Abingdon who also happens to be the best hairstylist I have ever had the good fortune to sit in the chair of...she and her dear husband may be coming our way in September, and hopefully will stay in our Blue Room...I will enjoy that visit very very much. Hopefully, also, I will have gotten to Abingdon for a visit by then.
Teaching went well yesterday...one of my favorite things in life is to see those little (invisible) lightbulbs turn on above the heads of each student as they see the possibility of a new world for their talents...they "get" something, as we work, and the delight of the discovery shows so openly on their faces....makes me feel so good.For them and for me as well. It never fails that these realizations have something to do with their personal growth, not just their expansion as actors. A freeing of something that was trapped long ago...or the realization that their brains are far more capable and subtle than they had ever before thought.
I am driving Upstate for the day. The skies are grey, but the air is cool.
Wednesday, July 06, 2005
Again in the nose...
...of a humid grey and dingy morning here in the City and wow is it unpleasant...I go off to teach my first class of the day soon..my habit has become to leave early, prep for teaching on the way down while I ride a cool and slow #5 City Bus down Riverside Drive, across Central Park South and down FifthAvenue...a pleasant way to start the day. I am inserted slowly into it, rather than shot out of the cannon of a hot and crowded subway.
I had the most fantastically delicious lunch with Cynthia Adler yesterday at a place on Amsterdam called Quintessence...i asked Cyn to lunch because i owed her some attention and friendship: she is one of the most loyal and devoted women I know, and I truly esteem her friendship ...it's just that I have been too busy sorting out other nonsense, and suddenly realized I needed to honor her, and so wehad the best time...I shall try to be more vigilant as far as our relationship goes because I value it. She took me to one of her usual "odd" places (she knows them all) and this one (as are so many of the other places she has taken me) was totally amazingly good....because this one is a purely raw foods cafe...everything, every single thing on the menu is made of raw food, none at all cooked. And the results are surprising and delicious.. Much like when I see a magic act, I found myself asking "How did they do that" again and again. My mouth was delighted with what it was tasting and feleing, (the textures were so great) and my stomach welcomed each morsel with a sort of calm. My body felt the results of the live enzymes almost immediately, and I cannot believe how thoroughly delicious each and every food we ate was....Cyn ordered for us, and I am glad she did, because I was able to have such a variety of taste experiences. For instance the crust on the tart we had as an appetizer was not a baked dough, but rather a smooth, chewy nutty tasting planquette of soaked,crushed and molded grains..."biblical" grains, very ancient ones that raw food enthusiasts have rediscovered....i will return to that place.
And I thank Cynthia for introducing me to it.
I must go teach now....but more soon.
I had the most fantastically delicious lunch with Cynthia Adler yesterday at a place on Amsterdam called Quintessence...i asked Cyn to lunch because i owed her some attention and friendship: she is one of the most loyal and devoted women I know, and I truly esteem her friendship ...it's just that I have been too busy sorting out other nonsense, and suddenly realized I needed to honor her, and so wehad the best time...I shall try to be more vigilant as far as our relationship goes because I value it. She took me to one of her usual "odd" places (she knows them all) and this one (as are so many of the other places she has taken me) was totally amazingly good....because this one is a purely raw foods cafe...everything, every single thing on the menu is made of raw food, none at all cooked. And the results are surprising and delicious.. Much like when I see a magic act, I found myself asking "How did they do that" again and again. My mouth was delighted with what it was tasting and feleing, (the textures were so great) and my stomach welcomed each morsel with a sort of calm. My body felt the results of the live enzymes almost immediately, and I cannot believe how thoroughly delicious each and every food we ate was....Cyn ordered for us, and I am glad she did, because I was able to have such a variety of taste experiences. For instance the crust on the tart we had as an appetizer was not a baked dough, but rather a smooth, chewy nutty tasting planquette of soaked,crushed and molded grains..."biblical" grains, very ancient ones that raw food enthusiasts have rediscovered....i will return to that place.
And I thank Cynthia for introducing me to it.
I must go teach now....but more soon.
Monday, July 04, 2005
Songs for my new world...
Well....staying in town over the July 4th Holiday Weekend has had its definite compensations, (in fact many), but last night may have been the best one of all: we went to AuBar on East 58th Street and had a good dinner, then sat and watched the astonishing Jason Robert Brown do two sets of his wonderful wonderful music....backed up by his usual bassist and guitarist ,(Randy Landau and Gary Seeger), JRB gave us an hour and 40 minutes of the most passionate and beautiful music, performed terrifically by himself (with several songs done by guest Kate Baldwin) and since we were sitting so close (at the very edge of the small stage in fact, so we could see every pore of JRB's face as he sang) Peter and I were blown away by this man's particular genius...a wonderful brilliant night of song and his deep stories...and if I had any doubts (when I saw PARADE for example, I didn't like it so much, but now I realize it was probably the production, not his music), anyway, if I had any doubts, THE LAST FIVE YEARS dispelled them, and now i am such a fan , I want to run away with him!!! He is however, as happily married to Georgia Stitt as I am to Peter. So I will have to content myself with either listening or singing his music for the rest of my life. I would be quite content to listen. Last night was great.
We came home and Peter immediately downloaded his new CD WEARING SOMEONE ELSE'S CLOTHES, and we are listening to it as I type...as well as being an inspiring writer of music, it turns out that Jason Robert Brown is one hell of a jazz pianist and improviser, and so last night was not only a concert of the newest theater music, but a jazz event as well, compete with scatting and and outrageous instrumental riff-work...so i was in heaven, from start to finish. I ca hardly wait to know this man...i feel sure our paths will cross somehow...he is doing this concert down at Barter later this month, since they are doing THE LAST FIVE YEARS and James Hollingsworth Barter MD) is an old pal of JRB's and probably finessed the booking there...so they will get to have this enormous thrill....wish I could be there for that. All Abingdon pals rading this blog: GO SEE THIS MAN WORK...YOU WILL BE GLAD.
He is unique and important.
The last couple of weeks have been all about getting my teaching in shape, and I feel like I have spent more time at CAP 21 than I have at home, and that is probably the truth. Plus which the air-conditioning down at CAP studios has been not working well, so each day spent there has felt like a week...but the kids in the classes are motivated and sweet, and the hours of teaching have flown by. The CAP 21 Summer program has grown so huge in numbers, it is bursting out of its seams.
The City is very quiet. Another of the compensations for being here when everyone else is gone. I keep thinking if we had gone out to the Hamptons or Upstate, we would have missed what we experienced last night. And i cannot help but be amused that the only other place we might have experienced JRBat this time would have been if we had stayed at Barter for this year. Why does that make me smile? I am so glad for our friends there that they get to see this man sing his music.
Much is happening inside me. Thoughts and searchings. But for now: HAPPY 4TH!!!
We came home and Peter immediately downloaded his new CD WEARING SOMEONE ELSE'S CLOTHES, and we are listening to it as I type...as well as being an inspiring writer of music, it turns out that Jason Robert Brown is one hell of a jazz pianist and improviser, and so last night was not only a concert of the newest theater music, but a jazz event as well, compete with scatting and and outrageous instrumental riff-work...so i was in heaven, from start to finish. I ca hardly wait to know this man...i feel sure our paths will cross somehow...he is doing this concert down at Barter later this month, since they are doing THE LAST FIVE YEARS and James Hollingsworth Barter MD) is an old pal of JRB's and probably finessed the booking there...so they will get to have this enormous thrill....wish I could be there for that. All Abingdon pals rading this blog: GO SEE THIS MAN WORK...YOU WILL BE GLAD.
He is unique and important.
The last couple of weeks have been all about getting my teaching in shape, and I feel like I have spent more time at CAP 21 than I have at home, and that is probably the truth. Plus which the air-conditioning down at CAP studios has been not working well, so each day spent there has felt like a week...but the kids in the classes are motivated and sweet, and the hours of teaching have flown by. The CAP 21 Summer program has grown so huge in numbers, it is bursting out of its seams.
The City is very quiet. Another of the compensations for being here when everyone else is gone. I keep thinking if we had gone out to the Hamptons or Upstate, we would have missed what we experienced last night. And i cannot help but be amused that the only other place we might have experienced JRBat this time would have been if we had stayed at Barter for this year. Why does that make me smile? I am so glad for our friends there that they get to see this man sing his music.
Much is happening inside me. Thoughts and searchings. But for now: HAPPY 4TH!!!
