Tuesday, October 13, 2009
Grey Skies and Poison Ivy!
....Couldn't sound more dismal, right? Grey skies AND poison ivy? Well, that sort of sums up how this day is beginning....I cut back some treacherous vines two weekends ago, from a lovely berry bush in our front yard, and the vines got back at me: poison ivy, subtle , in odd places around my body, and oh so very itchy! Hate the damned stuff! But I was hurting it, so it found a way to hurt me back! Seems only fair. And this won't kill me (will it?) the way I killed it...so, I don't mind suffering a bit. AND, as it has been for days now, the rain is spitting down on us in a sort of spoiled -brat fashion, not quite letting go, but reminding us it's there for sure. It comes from unforgiving grey skies, and creates a bio-dome of humidity and discomfort. How lovely.
Peter and I are guests this morning on a taping of cable TV show called Kingsport Chamber Zone, hosted by our old pal Bob Feagins, for whom we've done several Kingsport Chamber Diner entertainments. A few minutes on-air to talk about the Barter Fall line-up and a bit about Season 2010.....taping out on the Emory & Henry Campus,in Byars Hall. Shouldn't take up too much of the morning, and we both like Bob so very much, it's a pleasure. Later this week, I've been asked to be a Guest Host on a local morning TV show called Daytime Tri-Cities with its ebullient and funny host....and i look forward to that little adventure. I've never hosted an entire hour-long show before, so it should be fun....an exercise in improvisation! And play!
We're hoping to have a two -day yard sale this coming weekend, and the house is littered with piles of stuff to go into the sale, however, more rain is predicted for Saturday, with all sun for Sunday....we'll see how that goes! I'm praying against odds that the rain will not happen....but if it does, we need to have plenty of clear plastic tarps on hand to put underneath stuff and cover stuff well.....or should I postpone this thing? Or only have it on SUnday, for which sun is supposed to shine? Hmmmm......life! And it's complex problems.
Another wonderful Adult Acting CLass last night, and along with some really particular and specific work on the Chekov scenes we've been studying, there was a luscious birthday cake for Kristen B. , one of our lovely students, and of course we all had to have some! But we did not indulge until after some seriously specific work was done on a couple of scenes...this is a genuinely hard-working class, and even though I threw some tough Chekov stuff at them, they all not only caught it, but have been running with it as well. In another week or so , we'll start on some Shakespeare, studying the verse structure,etc, and before we know it , time for these particular sessions will be done. And I will plan another for the Spring, I think...we'll see.
But before anything other planning, I need to simply say that these people in this class - and the one we did last Spring as well- are wonderful. In so many ways. Fun and funny. Curious and willing to learn and grow. This is so inspiring to me. THEY are so inspiring to me.
If there is one thing that consistently and continually makes me glad to be breathing, it's being in the presence of people who are willing to learn new things....who let down their guard and allow wonder and awe and curiosity to guide them....people who do not defend anything, but who invite change and welcome the "I-don't -know" into their lives, so that true learning is actually possible. This freshness, this peacefulness (because I believe it takes genuine personal peace to allow this) is so lovely to be in the presence of.....i like it. It's what makes humanity not kill itself with rage defensiveness. It allows for others. It requires others' knowledge, and admits true listening. It allows for possibility because ti does not shut down, it opens.
So out of this grey sky and poison ivy day comes to me a realization: good things ,quiet and hard-working , make the sun shine , even so.
Wednesday, October 07, 2009
Breathing Room and Daily Allowance
Fall is crisply nibbling away at the edges of my torpor.
And orange is my new favorite color. ...cannot seem to get enough of it...and am eating fresh oranges in the morning as well, in an effort to infuse my soul with sunshine and vitamin C.
I am going away to the West Coast in late November.
A lengthy series of days away from my normal life here....and i can hardly stand the need to wait for that Pacific Ocean! I am happy to have been granted my vacation request, and also a little scared to be away from this grind and from my darling husband for that long.....we become slaves to our captors, I've read....not that Peter is a captor...he is the love of my life and I adore him....but we have such an intense way of living here, so deeply entrenched in our beloved duties in the name of Art...it feels odd to contemplate the letting go of those duties...the putting those duties 2000 miles away from my clutching grasp...the perspective -restoring act of placing myself , on purpose, so far away from the familiar.....feels sort of odd. But I am glad for it.
There is no real danger in it. Just an imagined one, in my tired and over-worked brain.
i yearn to write. To write well. To produce some art that will help me and others to cleanse and remember the joy that daily trudging dilutes. I want to make a difference with my writing. I want people to read what I write and go "a-HA!! - i know what she means!" those golden moments of recognition....
And i know that the only way I can ever make a difference in the world that way is to let go and create some real time in my life to gather the crop I've been growing for over half a century of living....to become a farmer of my life....a gatherer and a reaper..... to hang queasily on the edge of what I know and trust that what I don't know will not kill me, but make me smarter and sharper and stronger and more useful. Too much of everything dulls perspective and deadens the senses...constant swimming tires the arms....one must float for a while, every so often...and trust that a bit of sinking is not a bad thing.
It's odd that as much as i love words, the only ones I know are in the English language....when there are so many other languages with more words than I can even begin to fathom the richness of...
And orange is my new favorite color. ...cannot seem to get enough of it...and am eating fresh oranges in the morning as well, in an effort to infuse my soul with sunshine and vitamin C.
I am going away to the West Coast in late November.
A lengthy series of days away from my normal life here....and i can hardly stand the need to wait for that Pacific Ocean! I am happy to have been granted my vacation request, and also a little scared to be away from this grind and from my darling husband for that long.....we become slaves to our captors, I've read....not that Peter is a captor...he is the love of my life and I adore him....but we have such an intense way of living here, so deeply entrenched in our beloved duties in the name of Art...it feels odd to contemplate the letting go of those duties...the putting those duties 2000 miles away from my clutching grasp...the perspective -restoring act of placing myself , on purpose, so far away from the familiar.....feels sort of odd. But I am glad for it.
There is no real danger in it. Just an imagined one, in my tired and over-worked brain.
i yearn to write. To write well. To produce some art that will help me and others to cleanse and remember the joy that daily trudging dilutes. I want to make a difference with my writing. I want people to read what I write and go "a-HA!! - i know what she means!" those golden moments of recognition....
And i know that the only way I can ever make a difference in the world that way is to let go and create some real time in my life to gather the crop I've been growing for over half a century of living....to become a farmer of my life....a gatherer and a reaper..... to hang queasily on the edge of what I know and trust that what I don't know will not kill me, but make me smarter and sharper and stronger and more useful. Too much of everything dulls perspective and deadens the senses...constant swimming tires the arms....one must float for a while, every so often...and trust that a bit of sinking is not a bad thing.
It's odd that as much as i love words, the only ones I know are in the English language....when there are so many other languages with more words than I can even begin to fathom the richness of...
Friday, October 02, 2009
AN October Swim
.....well before a morning Staff Meeting....and all seems possible today...OF MICE AND MEN on the road seems to be going well, and the actors certainly seem to be having a good time, on their comfortable bus, playing a different venue each night to audiences that truly seem to love their work.....the play and this production directed by Katy Brown are powerful....and the show reports tell of engaged audiences and standing ovations in each place......even the very largest they play.
The show is going to venues ranging in size fro 500 -4,000 seats! (The Eisenhower in West point, NY), so for Michael Catalan and the crew to put the show in to these various places so that it looks good and plays well is no small feat of skill.....i am so grateful for Catalan on the road....and for Rebecca Reinhardt and Holley Housewright, our Company Manager and Stage Manager, respectively....this is a good group and one that is gaining invaluable experience on our behalf for future tours.
I am very grateful for so many people around me right now...people who have patience with me...understand my overly-dramatic way of experiencing the world and still choose to play with me day after day after day....passion attracts passion, I suppose....and I have in my life people who experience the world with the same gusto and drama that I experience it with, so our sense of the HUGE nature of it all sometimes is understood.....and understanding and patience are all we can count on in each other when things get rough around the edges.
A good actor convinces himself that where he is in that moment of the play is true and real, that it is forever, that moment, and doesn't think or remember how the play ends.....and that's how I experience times in my life as well...i never remember there is always light at the end of any tunnel I feel stuck in....i never remember it all turns out alright....i always believe the worst in each moment of seeming emergency...and forget my strengths and capabilities....that I can swim, no matter how deep this end of the pool is that I have been thrown into...i AM A STRONG SWIMMER!!!!
And (as a dear friend put it recently): whereas it may feel like I am about to be thrown under the bus, all that is really happening is is that I am running along side that bus at a prodigious rate.....and keeping a pretty good pace.
Fall is crisping the air....at last...and leaves will soon turn...and before we know it, these momentary things that are disturbing will be sheer and utter history....i keep forgetting that part too: it ALL comes only to pass.....
I send hugs of warmth in this early chilly morning to all who care....
xxev
Labels: OF MICE AND MEN TOUR 2009
