Chance = Change

Last night, Peter and i went downtown to The Provincetown Playhouse to see another Steinhardt student production, this time of a new piece from NYU Grad Writing Program writers...it's called "29" (the quotation marks are mine, not the writers), and the cast consisted of a few Seniors and several 2nd year Grad students as well...all uniformly gifted , well-trained and, consequently, ready to show what they have to offer in this valuable showcase of a show. They should be proud, all of them, of how they do show!

John Simpkins, one of the busiest men in the Steinhardt School, once again directed both the students and show to best possible advantage, and again I was moved by what he is able to accomplish within what i know to be his time, budget, and talent pool constraints: John knows how to creatively, ingeniously (and with integrity) direct and produce shows that Steinhardt can be thoroughly proud of...Bill Wesbrooks does the same...and this is no small task. I would take anyone to anything produced by Steinahrdt School...and the more shows i see there, the more i know this to be true. Part of the reason for this is the amazingly good music staff the directors have to support them: James Cunningham among them!

Once again, as he did with Simpkins' URINETOWN company, James C. rocked the room! He is a disciplined man...I know this from the classes we teach together...and he will settle for no less than the best of what the student actors can give him, which I know can be hard on the actors sometimes, but oh so worth it! The good thing about James is that he plays so many voice lessons for the Schools best vocal teachers, that he knows how to get what he's listenig for, and often can speak the actor's language in getting it. The actors can understand him, from both the singing and the acting points of view because James has inculcated what he hears in all the rooms he assists in....this is an invaluable amalgam of practical knowledge.

"29" sounded great last night, both vocally and instrumentally. The show was, untypically, totally mic-ed and whoever ran the sound board knew what they were doing, for the most part...a couple of the mics were a bit feathey, perhaps placed on the actors' bodies in ways that rubbed against clothing too often, but these things were minor and corrected within the show...it mostly sounded exciting.

Which leads me to the students themselves: I learned so much from watching them, not the least of which was: give these classically trained students a chance to "rock out" and they do -wonderfully and truly . They served the show terrifically, and the writers may never get voices this good , this flexible and versatile, doing this material again: it was impressive.
Especially whent he voices came together to give the show its signature company sound...yummy. Again, bravo James. And John S. for understanding what a true grounding this became for the piece itself.

Dayna , Matt, Stephaine, Lauren, Kevin, Michael, Jared: congratulations! You did good! Really wonderfully good. The audience adored each and every one of you, and their response should have told you that by the end of the show! Enjoy! And keep learning!

The Provincetown was packed, and felt so warm and welcoming, not in small part due to those ingenious hanging lights, colorful and festive, that turned the place into a party from the moment the doors opened.. .... all in all,we were invited in. And felt good about accepting the invitation. Every time i walk into the Provincetown Playhouse, I am reminded of and feel part of the vast theatrical hustory of the place: Eugene O'Neill and the Provincetown Players, the entire Harold Clurman-Fervent Years- story of the place...whenever I teach a class there, I make my students become students of the history of the place itself to give them the respect and perspective such a place should teach: that they are an important part of theater history.

"29" became that, too, last night...I hope the writers appreciate that, because we in the audience certainly did, on the most basic of levels: young people passed something on to us, around the warm and glowing campfire of stories they ably told.

Labels: NYU/Steinhardt

And, so it went: our 10:11 pm flight #94 left San Francisco International pretty much on time, a terribly uncomfortable flight for me, but we did arrive home at the scheduled time yesterday morning, even 10 minutes early! I despise flying. Hate it, fear it, am sickened by it, and will never fly again unless I absolutely have to do so....I have said this again and again, and each time I do mean it...I do. I hate flying. Even IF God had given me wings, I am not sure I would use them...I am an earthbound girl, and proud of it. Give me land, lots of land, and make it so I never have to take my feet off of it and go 35,000 feet in the air again...pleeeeeze.

But, no doubt, I probably will have to, nonetheless....again some day.

For now: TERRA FIRMA....very FIRMA!

It also felt truly awful to have no ability at all to get myself home when I wanted to get home...to be totally at the mercy of the weather, the airlines, the multi-thousands of people who were also pushing and shoving to get home...I hated feeling that uselessly powerless....it made me ill and actually queasy to feel so powerless...colored so much of what I was experiencing that last day in that beautiful San Francisco...I was soooo unable to be in the moment...I kept worrying about our flight, and whether or not I would ever make it home to Peter's arms...
All my equanimity, my hard-won meditative wisdom, my deeper knowledge disappeared as I experienced fear and the loathing of powerlessness. Fine grown up woman I am!

But for now, I am home and I am safe. In fact, I am even downtown at NYU and having taught a class this morning that felt so good to be back in (I had to miss Monday's class), I am at Bobst Library and have a late afternoon of ROMEO AND JULIET coachings to attend to. I look forward to that. And may even stay for the rehearsal itself, or at least part of it. So glad to be back where I am doing something useful.

Another thing: too long a vacation made me feel displaced and not as useful as I like to feel. I guess one of the guiding tenets of my life is : serve others, be of use and help them grow. Is that an escape? Is being useful simply keeping busy for keeping busy's sake? I hope not.

But even if it is, what is so bad about that? Well, one wants one's busy-ness to make some sort of difference, right?

Wow! I sound like a woman who has too much sun and fun on the beach. I certainly look it: I am so tanned.....and I do love that. Feels healthy. But all tbe NYU'ers around me look so ready for Spring to come! Students everywhere: UNITE and SLEEP!

Peter's warm arms were swell to come home to, and the puppies' soft furry bodies made me feel so good...also, their interminable licks all over my face and neck...they seemed real glad to see me...all three of them,and God knows I was thrilled to crawl in next to my warm sleeping husband yesterday morning. What a safe harbor his beautiful arms are....SO GLAD TO BE HOME.

Having been in peaceful places lately, I see the struggle going on around me so much more clearly than usual.

BUT OH SO GLAD TO BE HOME.

Thank you Paul and Steve for a wonderful time out West.
I love you.

...by this time tomorrow, I will have been home, in my own wonderful apartment, snuggling my pups and my darling husband (if he can manage to do his Inductis work at home tomorrow) for hours ....I must say, I can hardly wait for that first sweet hug! Paul and Steve have shown me the very best of vacation times here in this glorious City by the Bay, and I have had a wonderful, fun, enlightening and beautiful time of it...seen the most breath-taking Ocean scenes, shops to delight my senses, eaten wonderful healthy meals...Stephen has been acting as my "spa chef" and I feel terrific and lighter and prettier than I felt when I got here - absolutely, a wonderful time.....these dearest of men are my best family and support....BUT: GIMME GIMME...that thing called love (as that thoroughly modern girl Millie sings)...I MISS PETER! I WANNA HUG HIM! And, so I shall. Soon ! YAY!

After a vigorous and brisk walk down to Fort Mason this morning, and a delish couple of coffees at Green's (bringing back memories of the surprise celebration this past summer of Paul's birthday there), the three of us strolled to see what else Fort Mason has to offer and we discovered many arts organizations and a fun book store...we strolled at our leisure...then kept the blood flowing by hiking back home to ready ourselves and the apartment for our departure later this evening.

Our United flight 94 is not until 10:11 this evening, so we've plenty of time...but so far, all seems to be on schedule and flying! I feel so ready to get back to work. And will hit the ground running, pretty much, as one of my private students needs some help with her LEAR audition tomorrow afternoon, and I have my dear 46-10 actors tomorrow night....then class bright and early Wednesday morning, plus some private work afterward on both a couple of recitals still due and the ROMEO AND JULIET I am helping with....can hardly wait....this vacation has been good for reviving my engines and I am ready....

I am sitting on Paul and STeve's back deck and the sun feels so damned good...I shall miss the surrounding beauty of this astonishing San Francisco, but must remind myself to look for it in my home town as well, no matter how busy I get right?

Meanwhile, I still am intrigued by the idea of the San Vampyrians and the myth of the underground beings that I keep imagining here....I wonder if I shall ever really write the fiction I keep threatening to write..or even get back to poetry the way I know I want to but don't....bet I will....yes, I will.

Yesterday, we drove to little places like Mill Valley and Fairfax (so "hippie", so incredibly "60's) and we went all the way to Spirit Rock, which astounded me with its utter silence and spirituality.

More soon.

Labels: Spring Break 2007

....and it is truly beautiful: sunny, cool, yet warm as well....birds sing, and slight breezes blow off the Bay....the smells of neighborhood breakfasts float through the air, and I am sitting on the lovely wooden deck right off Paul and Steve's apartment....perfect, really...two cups of Steve's wonderful fresh coffee in me...we are planning a day at the Ferry Building, exploring that neighborhood, starting at the top of the Greenwich Street Steps and walking down them to the Ferry...yesterday we explored Lyon Street and the astonishing large Pacific Heights mansions there, including walking down the enormously steep stairs that transverse Lyon's various cross streets....i've honestly never seen anything like it: houses, mansions, built of stone and sitting on steeply terraced hills, and looking as if they have been there forcenturies, so solid and established as they apparantly areL Old San Francisco money, I would imagine. Truly magnificent. Making me wonder who owns them, who lives there, and how do they manage to make enough money to support these huge dwellings, both home and gardens surrounding them.

Another odd thing was that we never saw people in them, coming from them or entering them...all I ever managed to see now and then were the gardeners, indoor servants (at one establishment, I saw a vested butler open the back garden gate and pick up mail...so distinguished looking....I of course invented an entire back sotry for him...for all I kno whe could have been the owner of the mansion picking up his own mail, but somehow I think not. But this particular man seemed Causasion...all the other people I've seen surrounding the houses have been people of color, Asian or Mexicano....so of course, as my bias dictates, I assumed they were servants....

ANother thing: all the shades seemed drawn on these enormous places. SIlk shades, wooden slatted blinds, brocades, all closing the windows away from the outside world of tourists and gawkers, and neighbors of equal rank....so, we came up with this idea:

THE SAN VAMPYRAN CHRONICLES!!! San Francisco as being The City of the Damned...hence all the earthquakes...a city of enormous vampire population, ages and ages old...all the shades drawn because of course they cannot let sunlight in...and the idea of a vast, connecting railway system of underground paths and roads, totally decorated with silken walls, crystal rail cars and brilliant lighting systems, through which the vampiric population travels during the daytimes....each neighborhood, each section of the Vampire Empire is home to a different and unique clan of vampire beings: and there are constantly wars going on over how to divide the remaining human population fairly so that all vampires can survive....and of course, how to attract more and more tourists and human settlers so that fresh blood supply is always flowing into the city....the earthquakes are caused by the underground wars over territory and hunting rights! And the energies that cause the quakes is , of course, a superhuman and vampiric dimension....and the San Vampyrian Empire has been here since the dawn of time, way before America was settled and way before it's Westward Expansion....vampires being direct descendants of primordial ooze...the dinosaurs did not disappear because of all the scientific reasons believed: they were hunted and bled dry by the pre-historic vampires wio came from the earliest swamps! So THIS VAMPIRE SECRET HAS HAD TO BE PROTECTED SINCE THE DAWN OF TIME....or else they would have been hunted down and killed off...but they have survived every single era of mankind because of their cunning and adaptability....they are very clever this ancient race: they have had to be!

One way they have had us fooled is by cleverly allowing certain of their species to become "fiction" writers (like Ann Rice, etc), makers of movies, etc.....the ancient lineage has dictated that certain tales be allowed abroad about mythic vampire adventurers,like Dracula,etc....why has this been allowed? To make i clear that any ideas we have about vampires are total myth and fiction....so ridiculous as to be literally impossible to ever be real. Clever camouflage....hide right out in the open!

Who knows, by my writing this tale, maybe I am a San Vampyrian too!.

Labels: Spring Break 2007

...and so goes the plaint of the stranded tourist, hemmed in by ice and snow in the East! Yes, because of lousy weather back on the East Coast yesterday, Paul, Steve and i were unable to fly back to New York City/Newark today because our Continental flight was canceled, as were over 2000 other flights from all over the country! We found out last night that the flight was cancelled, and were not able to re-book a return flight until some phone lines cleared up this morning and we were able to at last connect to operators at the airlines....who all must be going insane from all the irate travelers....and we were not even able to book a flight back on Continental until Wednesday night, so we found one on United and are taking the "red eye" back Monday night, getting us back to Newark (God willing) at 6:30 Tuesday morning.....I will have to miss teaching my Monday morning class, but have already arranged with James C. to take over the class and work with the students on their new batch of scenes....i feel kinds funny about missing but there is literally nothing I can do about it, since I have no wings of my own growing out of my tanned arms! Like I have said: if God had meant us to fly...

So, here we are, in San Francisco, with the sun battling a foggy sky, but warm and lovely nonetheless, instead of mid-air and almost home as we originally planned to be...I miss Peter even more , as a result of this delay...but he has encouraged me to relax and enjoy this time-out-of-time, this granted extension of fun...I am trying to do so...

Paul and Stephen are at their local gym, and I almost went with them, but decided i could use the time more valuably writing, and have established myself in a local coffee roastery house, using their wi-fi connection...I wanted the San Francisco Coffee House writer thing, and am taking full advantage of it, even though I am sipping a sweetened iced coffee, not the usual dark roast sludge usually associated with serious writers of poetry!

It is a Saturday afternoon on Union Street, a couple of blocks from Paul and Steve's Pierce Street apartment, and if this were NYC, there would be crowds around me and not a seat to be had, but as it is, even for a leisurely afternoon on a very popular shopping street, this coffee house is barely inhabited and not noisy at all....local lesbians sit nearby, clearly habituated to their normal tables, and I find myself flashing my wedding ring sort of nonchalantly to let them know where I stand about starting a conversation...what look like a few shopping tourists chatter nearby...and for my $5.00 wi-fi fee, I feel totally entitled to taking all the time I want to take here at my wobbly table to watch and write and watch and write some more.... I am seated near the enormous coffee roasting machine, which currently not in operation, otherwise it certainly would not be so quiet...but there are bags and bags of beans waiting to be roasted and ground...I am just one of the bags...

It is St.Patrick's Day here , and everywhere else (thank God I am not in NYC where it is the worst time of all for the drunken teenagers to desecrate the best parts of the City)...and every now and then, handsome San Franciscans of the male persuasion, (ones that seem straight,by God) walk by wearing green shirts, green shorts, green shoes, green whatever, and seem to be jolly with drink.. this morning , when Steve and I came down here for our morning coffee and a few errands, we encountered the Official Little League Opening Day Parade, which was noisy and full of exuberant cars-full of kids in various team colors...they were not drunk,at least not on liquor, but they were noisy and unashamedly so! So were their proud parents....

And now things have calmed down a bit on Union Street, though I suspect it will get a bit more raucous tonight, as the proud Irish of San Francisco come out and play!

I look around me and I wonder what I would do if we moved here....would I work int he theater community? Feel the need to establish myself here as an actor? Flash my credentials around and get a teaching job? Would I want to do that? The part of me that needs to establish my identity tells me that of course I would do what I have always done: make myself known through my theater skills...use who I already know here to only extend my circle of effectiveness....and this would not be a bad thing to do or a bad life to start here...BUT...BUT...BUT...

What if there were other things to do? Other ways to contribute to the planet? Other ways to live? What if....?

Labels: Spring Break 2007

.....wear off! (Each evening,at this delectable hotel, they serve a luscious decanter of sweet sherry and a platter of animal crackers (!) in the gracious Lobby...after watching our last sunset on the chilly Carmel Beach, I rushed to the Lobby and had myself a quick two shots of the most delicious sherry and I feel superb , sitting in front of the fire in our cottage and anticipating a nice sit-down blog session, as Steve fixes a dinner of left-overs and Paul meditates his last 30 minutes of the day)

....we spent our final afternoon here , from about 3 :00 pm on, sitting on the beach right down from the Normandy, and simply sat there, lay there, relaxed there, took walks from there, and witnessed there, that final aMAZING SUNSET, KNOWING THAT BY THIS TIME TOMORROW WE WILL BE BACK IN SAN FRANCISCO, AND BY THIS TIME SATURDAY, WE SHALL BE ALMOST HOME SEEING THE ATLANTIC OCEAN RISING UP TO US AS WE LAND AT NEWARK AIRPORT!!!

Yes, the old adage stands truer than truer: time does fly when you are having fun.

But the very best part is: I have a deep yearning inside me to get home to the most wonderful man in the world, the man who chooses to love me (what ,is he crazy or something?) and chooses to let me love him in return: I get as good, if not better, than i give, to and from this hisband of mine: Peter Yonka, who I miss, and have missed with almost every fiber of my being all the while I was out here...Every time I saw a gorgeous Ocean view, I wished Peter could be by my side to see it too...each and every single discovery I have made here, about the town, about the seashore, about myself, I have wanted to share it with Peter...as I watched all the various doggies run and and run and run the length of Carmel Beach, I have wished Sally and Cyrano were here to run with them, and I 've imagined the joy Peter would get from watching the same...Yes, I am a lucky woman to have friends like Paul and Steve to treat me to such good times, but I am even luckier because I have a man at home, willing to let me experience my life my way, with the wisdom to know that to let me do so only makes me love him more than i ever thought possible. Thank you Peter. Thank you so much. I have treats and surprises galore to share with you!

And knowing you are there with our two pups to greet me with love and open arms makes leaving here not so terribly awful....below is that emial from Abingdon pal Ann J....it's so much fun!

Dear Evalyn,
You decadent Hussy! How in Heaven's Name could you not feel totally indulged, spoiled, pampered to within an inch of your life... there in that little gem of a place, surrounded by nature's finest show and man's most outrageous accumulation of wealth and luxuries- and cosseted by two attractive, intelligent, refined, witty gentlemen who entertain and feed you- and leave you alone to do what you want to!! My God- you have died and gone to Heaven! And how dare you expose the rest of us to such a glimpse of nirvana while we struggle along with our daily routines?! It is as if you are living in one of those wonderful old novels- leading the life of the movie stars of the 30's, or the eccentric literary geniuses of the Algonquin in the 50's...I love it! What a fascinating contrast to your bustling existence in New York City- a welcome respite, to be sure. You have earned it. But- what about those creative energies of yours? After a while- perhaps a long while!- would boredom set in and restlessness begin out there? Or have you explored the world of theater in San Francisco to see where you might make a contribution? Because, after reading so much of your musings, I do believe you glean much satisfaction and affirmation from giving to others what you have spent a lifetime learning. You treasure the feedback from other brilliant, talented people- it enriches your life more than mere objects could ever do. Of course, that area could open an entire new venue to you and Peter- who knows? That is the delicious promise of it all...
I spent a few days in Carmel may years ago- and again with my daughter and her husband a few years back- same drive down Big Sur- stopping at Nepenthe- all the way down to San Simeon to tour the mansion...you'd have loved it! A twilight tour, enshrouded in fog-house lit up- actors dressed in formal attire strolling the grounds, playing bridge in the parlor, eating in the grand dining room- straight out of that era...marvelous! Like you, I enjoyed the food and the sun on the water and the feeling of lightness it gave me. But I could never get the" East Coast out of the girl" to feel as if I belonged there. With the four of you there as a family, however, it could be a grand adventure...I await the unfolding saga with great interest and good will...and not a little envy! Love, Ann

She's a wonderful writer, is she not? Had to share that letter with you....

Now let's see: I felt so full of stuff to write when I sat watching the setting sun electrify the bluest Ocean I have ever seen....there are not enough words to describe "blue" in our language...however many there are, we have been witness to all of those blues over these past few days...at various times that water has been every shade imaginable and some thoroughly un-imagined, since they seemed unreal...but there they were...next time I see a painting attempt to capture these particular waters, i shall be more charitable and believe what I see on the canvas, since I now know anything is possible in what I have come to think of as The Pacific Ocean Show!

Crystal, turbulent, electric, light, dark, tourmaline, turquoise, watery, velvet,purple, violet, lacy, translucent, opaque, glassy, transparent, clear, sky, navy, midnight, blueberry, indigo, denim, royal, fiery, green, grey,Windex,soapy, aluminum,inky,bluegrass, twilight,robin's egg, silvery, satin, mouth-watering, Sally-garden, brilliant, bisque,sea-foam,steel, wedgewood,powdery, sapphire, opalescent, opaline, oily, granite, reddish, pale, crisp, flowery, myosotis,forget-me-not, wildflower, cornflower, marine, cornchip, heathery, jewel-tone, shiny, cobalt, sea, aquamarine, icy, aqueous, cerulean, florentine,deathly, irridescent, iris, juniper, hyacinth, new, fresh, panther, laquer, glossy, .....at various times of the day and evening, from innumerable vantage points, we have seen the Ocean be these shades of blue, and we think our eyes deceive us, but soon realize that what we see is true...there's one: true blue!

It seems yet another deolicious dinner is ready...so, for now...bye, bye....more to come...

Labels: Spring Break 2007

...are clearly part of a local ritual: I am observing it from my rented computer corner here at the Carmel Coffee Company Shop on Main Street...it was quiet until a noisy bunch of hyped-up locals came in and began various business meetings...ah well...every creature has its noises, as I have learned from the sea creatures I have been joyously observing...people here by the sea must crave noise, the way noise-saturated New Yorkers crave quiet times by the sea....and who the hell cares: it's still another gorgeous sunny California Coastal day and even though it is our last here,and we drive back to San Francisco tomorrow, my lifehas been permanently changed from these few days in the presence of the beauty I have experienced...each sea otter and gauzy horizon has become part of my life and I will remember....even if I have to put a pretty postcard in my day book to remind me!

Last night, after yet another wonderful gourmet veggie meal from the stove of Steve, I actually used some of the Lemon Grass Sea Salt scrub on Paul's feet and arms...he reacted in the same sensually ecstatic way i did when Renee scrubbed my various body parts yesterday...that stuff is really good! And I bought it for the express purpose of scrubbing Peter's back when I get home...he will adore it...and I will lvoe sharing it with him...Then, after my mini-spa treatment of Paul;s feet and arms, we snuggled down with Steve to listen more of Jack Kornfield's talks and I fell asleep to his soothing tones....I slept well through the night, once I managed to get to my heavenly bed, and I can only assume that my time on the tables at the day spa relaxed me in a deeper way than I had thought...it felt good, so good, to sleep deeply and uninterruptedly.

I recieved a wonderful email from Ann J. ikn Abiongdon responding brilliantly to my blog entry of yesterday...she is astonishing in her appreciation of what I live, and I feel the same about her lovely dear life in Abingdon...she is (Ann, you are) an alive and thrilling woman, with tastes so beautiful and thoughts so imaginative, I can only say: thanks for sharing them with me....I so miss seeing you..and so appreciate your mails to me...I feel that if you and I had lived in another day and time, we would have penned marvelous ornate yet useful correspondences to each other and our collection of letters would have been worth publishing!

I'm looking around at the beautiful glossily mounted photos of varuous swa scapes on the walls around me, and I feel a rush of gratitude that no matter how gifted the photographer, there are simply some things in life and nature too stunningly beautiful to capture in even the most skillful photo...what I experience when by the actual shore of those waters (as I was yesterday and the day before and the day before that), is imcomparable to any possible photograph of same. No matter how stunning the angle or the film used, the live thing is...well..alive.

There is a noisily happy family next to me: an elderly Jewish gent and his three grown kids who are "hocking" him about his diet and how to make it healthier...they are adorable...and each one knows best of course...the daughter especially, I so identify with, adn she is talking about how she prepares chicken to make it a fat-freer meal...the brothers are nodding in agreement...she is the "mouth" ,,,I like her. They are lucky to have their Dad to yell at in this loving and gentle way.

I love this place. The sun shines so brightly out there and I am becoming surer and surer that I will never leave Carmel...I wonder what I could do here to make a living...hmmmm....oh well...if only one could get paid to sit by the Ocean and be happy. (And in some odd way, one is paid in a deep way, right?)

Today, while the guys are asleep still, I want to explore the side streets of Carmel and see what shops there are and what galleries...there is so much art here..so much high-priced and often wonderful art...but it's the shops I want to see...and maybe spend some money in...I have high hopes that I will find a thing or two worth buying...treats...at least I have matured enough from yoiunger days to not need to buy everything in sight...but I still have an appetite and hope to fill it a little today ,....while the guys sleep....so, before they waken, perhaps I had better get on with that...more soon. Tata!

Labels: Spring Break 2007

....by the sheer act of simply writing about it? ..that is what poetry is for...But, I am so filled with the sheer day-to-day brilliance of the passing of each hour in this gorgeous place, doing the most mundane of touristy things, that I have not yet reached the level of poeticizing....i still must,must,must describe...describe...and then describe some more....it is all too full of the most delicious details. Sadly, I am left with the question: However can i leave here, when we must leave here, day after tomorrow???? Paul and Steve warned me that I would not want to leave, and they are proving to be prophetic: how...how?

Not only have our days been filled with the most glorious ocean and sky and sunshine and rocks and splashing waves and sea creatures that God ever made, but our nights have been easy , as we lull ourselves into sensual comas filled with luscious foods cooked by Stephen, enormous, yet healthy and fresh vegetable dinners, unbelievably wonderful tasting...all the ingredients are local and as fresh as fresh can be, never having seen the inside of a refrigerated train car....the sweetest asparagus..the crispest lettuce and carrots...I feel like a rabbit, but a very happy one! So, days are thriling, nights satisfyingly full, and slumber absolute.
Tonight, yet another dinner is underway, and while Paul finishes his daily sitting meditations, Steve cooks (with a quick dash to the shore to watch yet another fabulous setting of the sun), and I finally sit to write and write...I have meaning to get back to the blog, but have been too happily busy to do so...for instance: today:

I started the morning at a local day spa with a 9:00 am papaya facial, administered with effectively gentle touch by young Regina, clearly well-trained to open the pores and nasal pasages of the most discerning client: my face has not felt this good in a very long time!! My East Coast puffiness has all drained away, and I am smooth as ...well...the inside of a papaya....NEXT: Casey, a dynamic single mother of two, gave me the most wonderful chocolate manicure and pedicure...yes, you read correctly: a chocolate manicure and pedicure.....I was scrubbed with chocolate scrub, creamed with chocolate cream, then coated with a paste of cocoa and hot water wrapped in plastic bags until my extremeties were like the moistest of chocolate cakes...it was after that that the actual manicure and pedicure began,,,,and i am delectably coated and smoothed! Also, I not only feel pretty, I feel delicious!!! THEN: I was lymphatically drained by Renee, whose vigorous massage for the purpose was gentle yet clearly educated and powerful...after she drained me, she scrubbed me til I glowed with a lemon/chocolate sea salt that had me moaning with joy as she rubbed and scrubbed my dead old skin into oblivion! (I bought a jar of that stuff to take home so I can do the same to darling Peter!) This Day Spa has my vote...and I shall return to it one day! I floated out of there! Trainling clouds of chocolate, lemon and papaya behind me! THen Paul took us to lunch and I had a slice of salmon that was better than any I have had anywhere....I mean..come on! We are by the Pacific Ocean!

We spent the rest of today out at Point Lobos Nature Reserve Park looking at yet more impossibly fabulously beautiful vistas of the Ocean and its rocks and denizens...today, we visited sea lions, sea otters, and watched the odd whale blow its streams of water high into the perfect air....they are taking their families north and we waved as they passed by: my first whales!
Today's Ocean and its various tidal pools and coves that line this part of the shore are impossibly blue! In fact, we have decided to attempt to classify how many ways we can describe the concept of the color "blue", since every time a wave twists, turns and flips in the saucy sunlight, a variation on the shade appears as it never has before. Suffice it for now to say: the water today (and for these several days past) has looked as if some publicity people for Carmel decided to open large drums of turquoise and sapphire blue inks and empty them into the water, so that people loking at the Ocean would be forced to say things like: "That water is impossibly blue" or " Those colors cannot be real!"....it's been the sort of coloration (of course actually due to the various algae and vegeation beneath the water) that looks as if: if you went into it you would come out of the water colored turquoise or lovely purple by having gone in it!!!Arms and legs dyed to match the water that just covered you....shades of aquamarine, and sapphire and obsidian and turquoise and eggshell blue, clearly colored like easter egg dye, to make you gasp with the joy of seeing it! Such water....such beauty....such artistry.

And an entirely different sort of rocky vista than that provided by our Big Sur drive two days ago....the drive that took me all the way back into my '60's youth and its environs: We went as far South as The famed Esalen Institute and stopped everywhere along the way...we visited Nepenthe, a restaurant/shop that once was a home that belonged to Orson Wells and Rita Hayworth for a year....more gorgeous ocean there to see....we stopped at The Tickle Pink Inn (named after a Senator actually named TIckle) and saw yet more stunning vistas....we had our fresh veggie sandwiches on the beach at Julia Pfeiffer State Park, as waves splashed around us, wearing holes in the enormous rocks and giving joyous hoist to the local surfing boys...that was amazing to see....and the food tasted so damned good! We stopped any adn everywhere that Paul and Steve wanted to show me, and as a result , I got quite a tour! My first Big Sur experience!

More to come..right now: a nap!

Labels: Spring Break 2007

...Let's have another slice of perfect time!

Below is my first email communication to and from this gorgeous place called Carmel By the Sea, here on the perfect West Coast of California:

> ----- Original Message -----
> From: Evan M Mueller
> Date: Sunday, March 11, 2007 10:14 am
> Subject: R&J
>
> > Hi Evalyn - I haven't had a chance to breathe since starting R&J, so I'm very thankful to get a little break here. I know that some people have had a chance to work with you, and they're getting tons out of it! Thankyou. Our rehearsals move very fast, so we have little time to deal with anything other than putting the pieces of the play together,
> > so any work you deal with them is needed and helpful. With some of the principles (Romeo, Friar, Juliet, Capulet...) they definitely need more work helping to understand and relate to the emotional life of the play, but I know they're willing and able and moving in the right direction. Hopefully next week you'll be getting more of the cast in to work with you, and they should be able to work off book... I'm trying to really encourage everyone to go far with their choices and
> > really dig into the circumstances to create a really active and expressive physical life on stage. I think we're moving in the right direction. Josh Zecher-Ross has added some a capella music, which sounds wonderful, and next week we'll be adding some fight choreography, which really looks terrific, so I'm very excited about where we're going! Thanks Evalyn, I hope your week off is going very well, and I'll talk to you soon!
> >
> > Evan
> >
> > Evan Mueller
> > muellerevan@nyu.edu
> > 646.263.3172
> >

----- Original Message -----
From: Evalyn Baron
Date: Monday, March 12, 2007 9:43 am
Subject: Re: R&J

> HI EV - EV HERE...THANKS FOR THE INFO...I AM HAVING A GOOD GOOD
> TIME COACHING AND APPRECIATE THE CHANCE TO WORK WITH THEM ON THIS WONDERFUL MATERIAL....RIGHT NOW,
> I AM IN A COZY COTTAGE BY THE PACIFIC SHORE IN CARMEL,CA. AND FRANKLY MAY NEVER COME HOME
> AGAIN! JUST JOKING...GOTTA COME HOME, BUT IT'S SO GORGEOUS HERE, I WANT THIS WEEK TO GO VERY VERY
> SLOWLY...WE WATCHED THE SUN SET OVER THE PACIFIC LAST NIGHT....NEIGHBORLY DOGS ROMPING ON THE VAST
> BEACH....ALL TOO WONDERFUL....NOW I UNDERSTAND WHY THE HIPPIES IN THE EARLY 60'S
> FOUND THIS WILD PLACE SO ENCHANTING....DESPITE THE MODERN POSH STORES, IT RETAINS ITS
> YOUTHFUL INNOCENCE...MUST BE THE NEARNESS OF THAT OCEAN.... IT IS ONE HELL OF AN OCEAN....I WONDER: DID JULIET EVER SEE THE SEA?
> XEVALYN

Oh Evalyn! I'm jealous. Soak up some sun for me, and have a wonderful
time.

Evan
**************************************************************************************
And, dear Evan, I don't blame you: I am having such a good time, I am jealous of myself!!!

I have never wanted time to pass more slowly than I wish it would now pass...Paul and Steve have brought me to yet another West Coast Paradise: this time: Carmel-By-The -Sea, California: outpost of the Beatniks in the 1950's, then the Hippies in the 1960's and now a most wonderful posh yet superbly liveable and comfortable tourist destination....thank goodness we are here both off-season and mid-week... if it were an in-season weekend, it would no doubt be a popular carnival too crowded to enjoy...but as it is right now, on an early-morning Tuesday in mid-March, it is quiet, calm, gorgeous, intersting, lovely, warm, cool, breezy, Pacific (and I do mean from the Ocean), and gorgeous-smelling....this is a place I can rest....and so I am.

The guys have rented a cottage called Brigitte at a hotel called The Normandy, and this little cottage has three bedrooms (beds made in Sleeping Heaven, where they put soft cotton around thick clouds!), a cozy living room and dining nook with working fireplace.....a serviceable kitchen right off which is a marvelous patio/deck overlooking a courtyard of palms and eucalyptus trees...I mean: gorgeous. That roaring sound you hear? THE PACIFIC (but nonethe less ROARING) OCEAN! Yes, that little peek of deep turquoise?: THE OCEAN PACIFICA!!!

Yes: dear readers: I am a happy woman, soaking in the beauty and the shopping! Tomorrow : I will get a facial, massage, sea salt body scrub and both "cures": mani- and pedi-!!! At a local Spa a few blocks away....a stroll past luxurious shops and charming cafes and coffee spots...I mean this place is silly with delicious stuff to see, buy, taste and experience....the only thing that is certainly not silly is that righteously noisy body of water down the street: THE PACIFIC (but nonetheless attention-grabbing) OCEAN!!!! Did I mention it was two blocks away from where I type?

I can see it stretching vastly toward its morning meeting with the Horizon, right from where I am perched in the cool morning air....the fellas are still sleeping...after all it is barely dawn...i go to bed early, and rise with the first possibility of natural light.....and since we are cooking and eating only the best natural produce the locals have to offer, my body feels superb....the asparagus alone are enough to make you want to move here forever! Pure sweetness. Never seen the inside of a refrigerated rail car....they were born, raised and eaten here! Hell, if I were an asparagus, that's is how I would want my life spent! Here. No where but here.

I have more to write about than I even dare suggest at this point, but I must go freshen my coffee cup and hell! Who made the rule that says one can only make one blog entry a day? So, dear readers, expect more soon....but for now know this:

I AM IN A PLACE OF MY DREAMS...HAVE SEEN MORE OF GOD's GLORIOUS EARTH IN THE PAST TWO DAYS THAT I EVER DREAMED EXISTED...AND AM HAPPIER THAN I KNEW I COULD BE SO DEEPLY AND SO QUICKLY....this is called: VACATION!

More soon.

Labels: Spring Break 2007

# posted by compostmoi : 10:35 AM  0 comments

Well...indeed..in two days, I will be flying out to California for business and to meet Paul and Steve..they will whisk me away to Carmel for a few sunny days by the Pacific and catch-up on life....I shall sleep and shop and sleep some more...and there will be talk...lots and lots of good friendship talk, as we solve what may confront us all next....in the life of our 21st Century Family....a new wrinkle has been added to the fabric:

Paul and Steve found a San Francisco apartment on Pierce Street, on the edge of Pacific Heights, and they loved it at first sight and so have rented it for at least a year...they love their new Landlords, and feel somehow that this is the next right move for us all...now we have a home base in that glorious city if we all so choose it to be...it has a fireplace and two bedrooms and it overlooks the Bay, and is in what they both ecstatically describe as the perfect neighborhood, near everything fun, and within walking distance of lots of streets and shops and things that matter to them. Every phone call from them, since they signed the lease, has been happy and almost floating with a sort of joy I have not heard from either of them in a long while....the last time I heard tht happiness in their voices, it was also when they were in San Francisco, discovering the headlands and other glorious walking paths....One of the reasons Steve threw Paul's 60th Birthday Bash out there was because he wanted all of us to fall in love with San Francisco as they have, and I do believe we did just that. Peter wants to move as fast as we can....he is extremely tired of the constant obstacles that NYC presents, the crowds and the dirt and noise....and he felt a spiritual tie to SF when we were out there....I thought it was a very gorgeous place. Mild and negotiable...certainly easier to endure than this vast, anonymous, grey City we currently call home. My experience of NYC is that it becomes, day by day, more conscious of its wealth, and less caring of its poverty . This disturbs me more than it ever has before.

So, who knows what will happen?

To say that I am looking forward to my week out West (which is not a very long time at all), is an understatement: I can hardly wait to get there. And, even though I must board a dreaded airplane (I am not a fan of aviation), I know the journey will be short and my rewards at the end of it great.....I want to see my two friends. I want to laugh with them.

And I will be back in class on the 19th! Working hard as ever, though, the students , typically, will be slow to get wound up again, as well they should be...I want them to genuinely relax over the Break, and those of them not cast in shows should be able to do so. Paul joked with me on the phone last night that I had better pack extra clothing because I will fall in love with it all so deeply out there I will cancel my return flight....and stay there with them. I wonder. As it happens, those two will be returning here with me. That is as they had planned. But now, with the acquisition of a new place out there, their trips back out there will be more frequent, as, I imagine, ours will be as well. San Francisco...hmmmm.

Life is such a funny thing...isn't it?

....from WEST SIDE STORY is an example of the kind of scene we are wokring on in my Musical Scene Study Class every Monday and Wednesday morning from 9:30 -12 noon.

It's that glorious scene that takes place in the alley behind Maria's apartment , filled with climbing fire escapes and garbage cans, where Tony is found wandering in his attempt to find this wondrous new girl he just met at the Dance at the gymnasium...he is in need of this deep love that has begun inside him and he is at that wonderful point where it feels like his life depends on finding her...it is only out of such passionate need that a song like TONIGHT can grow, and this scene, filled with yearning, takes place between two of the most thrilling protagonists in theater history (based on those two others: Romeo and Juliet)...they must earn that song. So, the work of the scene, the brief scene preceding the song, is to establish the obstacles that make earning the song a labor of deep love, so that when they finally burst forth in song, we are as relieved as they are that they do so.

This morning , we worked on this scene in class. Because they are singers by nature, the two wonderful students found their way beautifully through the song, and sounded great doing it, but what they needed to learn, and what the coaching became about, is HOW TO EARN THE RIGHT TO SING IT! And, I have to say, it was terrific fun watching them have that dawn of understanding that takes place when good students are hearing what they need to hear to acquire a new tool. To bring home the point about obstacles, I actually had other students build an obstacle course (while Tony was out of the room)that became Maria's alley way, down which Tony had to traverse in order to get to his love...and i made Maria build more specifically the apartment she emrged from in order to come out onto the balcony...THEN: once i drove the lesson home that building the "pre -moment, the moment before" is a vital thing to understand and create, I introduced the notion of "forbidden love", impossible dreams and unquenchable longing for that thing or person you simply cannot have! I forbade them to easily satisfy their need to touch...to make it entirely impossible to so do...well....what happened then, as it became harder and harder for them to get to each other, as each time Tony got near, he was forced by a voice from inside the apartment to hide again...what happened was that when they finally had that first kiss, it was such a relief! So I left them with that dilemma to contemplate and continue building the scene on....it was so cool! The lovely girl playing Maria actually blushed and admitted she was beginning to really feel something
for Tony...and it showed! It was like watching lots of lightbulbs going off to see them get the point....

NOW: if I can only make sure that the truly educational point is being made in a way that they remember from now on the importance of what they learned this morning...and so, we talked about the specifics of it. And I made them struggle through the event of actually putting it into words....and language they can use and understand. It totally connects to all they have read and learned from reading Uta Hagen's books in earlier acting classes....it totally connects to all they have learned in Song Analysis classes: find the conflict, intensify it to the point where singing becomes inevitable....etc.

There was also a pretty productive coaching of the MATCHMAKER scene from FIDDLER...
the three girls had obviously worked on it and that was gratifying....that made working with one actress in particular okay then, as she is one I am fond enough of to want to continue to break of certain habits I know she wants to break...and from her improvement comes the enegy for the entire scene and song...so, some progress was made there.

There you have, in short, a bit of what this class is like....and some insight into why I love it so much. Sometimes it feels like I was sent into these classrooms for the express purpose of teaching these young actors what they need to know right now...at least at times it feels that immediate to me. Purposeful. Purposeful is good. And, for a short while, I believe in theater
again, live, interesting, human theater, where wonderful stories are told and sung. ANd people want to hear them.

Labels: NYU/Steinhardt

Yes, the 2nd of the recitals i was assigned is now completed, performing yesterday at 5:00 pm...and I continue to learn from each one I work on....my darling Peter joined me at the one yesterday too, just as he did to the one last weekend, and , if nothing else, it gives us the "excuse" to go on a nice dinner-date afterward, even though we don't need an excuse...what we need is the impetus! We are so comfortable in our home, it's hard to get us out of it, once we both end up in it together after busy work weeks! By joining me at the recitals downtown, Peter not only helps me make cogent observatons about the work done, but takes me out to a nice dinner at our favorite cozy Washington Square Coffee Shop: simple but delicious basic cooking! I love their fresh salmon! And they serve enough for me to make two meals out of!

Anyway: thank you Peter, dear husband, for putting yourself through the rigors of Graduate Recitals for my sake. I appreciate the company.

Meanwhile: a "catch-up" for you faithful readers: Peter's adorable parents are here, attending a Montessori Conference in Midtown Manhattan, though staying here with us. Patti invented and maintains the Peace Table, and Charles helps her run it, where they sell many terrific books, for children and grownups, about Peace and how to make it happen. The merchandise is lovely, and the money earned from its sales goes to financing more Montessori Peace Teaching activities around the country.

This trip, however, to celebrate Charles' retirement from 30 years at Ford motor Company, they are staying an entire extra week and we can have them all to ourselves. This is good, as they are two of my very favorite people, in-laws or not! Incredibly interesting and deeply good people, and it is simply fun to be with them! Peter is even taking 2 days off from work (which they gladly granted him, they appreciate his hard work so much) and we can do fun things , like take them to the Rubin Museum,etc. Then the three of us: Patti, Charles and I, leave on Sunday the 11th: them to go home to Michigan, and me to fly to Paul and Steve in San Francisco for my week of fun in the sun with them!!! Peter and the pups will be here at home alone together....The guys have booked us into a sweet place in Carmel for 5 or 6 days and i am promised gorgeous weather and wonderful shopping! I can hardly wait. Spring Break taken seriously! NYU is on Break from March 10th -18th.....

But before then, I must make sure one more recital is produced well: this one an Undergrad one, for Jenna B. and since she is so talented and fun, this one will be fun to oversee. Her Character Study is Rosabella from THE MOST HAPPY FELLA and she is lovely in her work so far...I had her in my Acting Class last semester and i know her spirit well enough to know that the recital will be a good one. Energized and welcoming.

Early in my teaching (and blogging) career, I was advised never to mention or discuss the work of my students. Too many sensitivities and hurt feelings might result., at either being mentioned or not being mentioned. And so, I have habitually written about them using only their first names and last initials. And even that may be too revealing for some critics of the practise. However, how can I not write about them? How can I not discuss those things that have been the essence of my growth as a result of having worked with them? And how can there be harm in discussing them with the love and respect I feel for them? Because it IS with admiration and affection that I experience them and the work they do to more fully realize their potential as performers. I see the problems...I know the insecurities...and I also know how trivial the college years and even grad work, will end up being in a artist's life: in years to come , they will hardly remember any of us, or what they did in their Recitals. (At least that is how it has been for me...perhaps I am being too presumptive to think it will be the same for them....) True, each of us who teach them may leave a kernel of something they will carry with them...and some of us may even be more influential that that...but it is vanity to think we matter much in the long term. And this is how IT SHOULD BE! Because LIFE WILL TEACH THEM WHAT THEY TRULY NEED TO KNOW....we are only preparing them to be able to be open to what comes next. To be able to listen. The "rights" and "wrongs" of now will soon disappear in the haze of actual experiences they encounter along their personal roads. So, how truly important can all of this be, as we wag and worry about how well are we teaching them or how well they do in their Recitals? It all goes so quickly. AND I FEEL PRIVILEGED TO BE WITH THEM FOR ANY PART OF THEIR JOURNEY....and why should that be? BECAUSE EACH OF THESE WONDERFUL STUDENTS ALLOWS ME TO SEE ANOTHER PART OF MYSELF IN THEM......as much as they say i give them? They give me so much more. I hope they know that. They teach me. Without question.

NYU is a very wonderful place. People who teach there range from brilliant to deeply interesting (at the very least), and I feel fortunate to among them, even for a short while. A couple of weeks ago, I had to join the Adjunct Teachers Union, a branch of the UAW...hello fellow Auto Makers! And this is good, as I respect Unions and what they have done for the average worker in this country. I have always enjoyed a good relationship with my performers unions, and am a Union Gal all the way down the line. this does not, however, serve as any predictor of how long I will teach there, or for that matter how long i will even stay in NYC! But it is what must be for now, and so I joined with a glad heart. I wonder if that Membership is any good on the West Coast! If I go to San Francisco and teach there? Hmmmm...maybe same Union, different Local? Hmmmm...come on,Ev...stop putting carts before horses here....

For now..'bye.....