Chance = Change

Hi folks - and a special hello to all of you who read this blog regularly - there are not many of you that I'm aware of, but every now and then, I hear from one of you, and , as I've said before, it means a lot to me.  I do know that alerts go out to some folks too, whenever a new one of these postings happens. So for you regulars, there's this:

I've not exactly been missing in action - though the posts have been scarce of late, and usually to do with my daily activities which seem so fascinating to me, (and, inexplicably, to a few of you as well, thank you very much)...it's more like I've been missing BECAUSE of action, that action being the inordinate amount of writing assignments tossed at me by the ever - wonderful Adair Lara, leader of our pack.

I use "inordinate" not in its meaning as  "unwarranted" or "overmuch", but in its more specific meaning: "extravagant", "immoderate"...since every single exercise we're given, every assignment, is useful and welcome.  But there has been a lot to do, and more every day as I realize the true reason I am
in the writing workshop to begin with: to learn how to write more effectively.  With more technique that I can put to good use in pointing, shaping and refining the writing that pours out of me naturally.

The aim of course is not to curtail that natural flow. In fact, I am grateful, more than ever, for the sheer years I've put in as a writer in my journals and blogs, because I am actually pretty fearless in letting the ideas pour out, and every now and then in that torrent of words comes a phrase or two that are better than the others, and that say something unique, and very much mine.

But I've rarely had to write "to purpose" before...in other words, I've rambled...and rambled...wanting to simply have a space on a blank page for my every thought to come alive in front of me , establishing a sort of dialogue , I suppose, with my own mind.  In writing , the blank page became my friend who is ever there no matter whatever or whoever is not.  Writing is really my constant "other", my true companion.  A lively conversation between two absolutely delightful  characters, both of whom are parts of me...i mean, come on, at least for me, that can never be boring!

Then, you all came along and decided you liked to read that dialogue between two friends , as it were (the two parts of me), and i then had some one else to write for: you guys.  But there've been no demands placed on me, no real goal or purpose other than to let you in on what I'm thinking and feeling - and no other discipline except that which my own need dictated: I've written when I've felt like it!   AND, the mission has been a noble one: to communicate, to let you know me better, and in turn, every now and then, to let me know you as well.  AND it's been fun, and will remain so, I dearly hope.

The only time I've been required to write has been for dear Barter Theatre, whenever I've directed a show in the season. Director's Notes are de rigeur and though in the midst of a manic schedule they can be seen as a burden, I always adored writing them. But they always became better once my boss had time to look at them and give me notes on them, to focus and guide their purpose for each show.  Once he vetted the first draft and led me in the direction of the more specific, the more personal, the Director's Notes became a true assignment I could learn from, and so I did.  And, I flatter myself to hope they also became better Director's Notes, at least from this particular director.  

But you see, they were guided...they were more like what I'm now doing in my Writing Workshop: in this first 12-week workshop , my first ever, since college, i am being required to learn things I'd forgotten, or have never known, and the pieces I am writing are disciplined for a purpose larger than my own selfish ones, and are meant to communicate to a larger audience by the very nature of their being more crafted and skilled.

 I am actually having to edit to someone else's taste almost every single time I share a piece with the workshop and, though there have been a piece or two that have come full-blown out of my head that have been praised as  just right from the get-go, for the most part each piece I attempt is another learning step, and an arduous, difficult step at that...because I'VE NEVER HAD TO ANSWER TO ANYONE BUT MY OWN SOFT AND PERMISSIVE EGO!  I've ALWAYS loved what I write (really I still do)...but now I actually want it to BE GOOD!  Not that what you and I have responded to has not been good...but I'd like it to be better than good...I want to be the very best I can do as a writer: more concise, deeper in my thought process, capable of longer, more textured and detailed works, smarter, clearer, better all the way around. And so: this workshop is the first step in that direction of becoming a BETTER writer.  A more widely accepted writer, therefore. I'm talking publishing here.

SO - let me hear from you on this -  and even if I don't, rest assured:  I will keep you all posted, as I always eventually do, on how things are going, what life is bringing me here in the West, and how the entire writing challenge is proceeding.  I feel it is the adventure of my life now, and it could feel righter.

As ever, i look forward to hearing from you all too.  Please : YOU keep ME posted too.

Labels: SF Writing