Friday, September 17, 2010
Writing the Future
"Fabulous, fresh early morning in this lovely town: cool, moist harbinger of a delicious Fall to come: all seems possible."
I'm quoting myself above - a post I put on FB yesterday morning...and it got such sweet response from people, all of whom complimented me on my way with words, my ability to describe...I mean, people are so very nice when it comes to my casual writing, and I really appreciate their comments, because I love to write , have written privately for so long, and am about to leap of the cliff of the "Familiar" out into the limitless space of the "Unknown" and writing is the very thing I want to be able to hang my hat on, so to speak...
I no longer care if I am identified as an actress or director anymore...not that I don't deeply appreciate all I've gone through to accomplish what I've accomplished through the years - I honestly am grateful for every bit of experience and success (and even the failures) that I've had...no ...don't misunderstand me: I love the life in the theatre that I've had...i honor it...and highly value every moment of it...i do NOT take it all for granted. Truly, I do not.
I am glad for it.
But, at my advanced age (!!) I understand now that life has so much more to it - has so much more for all of us - than the titles we assign ourselves early in our lives. When we are younger, it's important for us to be able to define who we are by a phrase, usually associated with what we do to earn money: "I am a lawyer"..."I am an architect"..."What I do is TV commercials"..I am what I do...etc...Much like beginning acting students who, early in their training seem to need a definitive technique, usually associated with some famous teacher or writer of acting texts, to tell them HOW to do it, HOW to become a good actor...and later they learn that to be a truly fine actor requires an open-ness to all techniques, a willingness to use whatever makes the building of the character they play fullest, most resonant, truest...we respond to what is needed.
ANd, the way I'm feeling now - with San Francisco looming on the horizon - is more open, willing and sensitive than I've ever been in my entire life, to what is needed...what will be called for...what will be asked of me in the service of fully expressing my self, my life in the service of improving this planet.
And if that means writing a book to tell about the true love of an odd family-so be it...if it means volunteering in a museum, or feeding the hungry...okay! If it means directing kids in a musical over in Berkeley, I'll do that...but if it means sitting by the side of the Pacific and doing nothing but think,inquire, analyze, meditate? THen I will somehow find the patience and endurance to let my self be still.
My problem has never been finding things to DO...my life has never wanted for "busy-ness". The real challenge for the coming time is learning how to be still, how to trust, and how to enjoy the stillness.
I'm practically joyous ( some days) with the anticipation of the fears I will feel...i almost welcome them as signs of growth and expansion into areas of my self-expression yet to be discovered.
What will be? Will definitely be. ANd my blood rushes at the very thought.
I'm quoting myself above - a post I put on FB yesterday morning...and it got such sweet response from people, all of whom complimented me on my way with words, my ability to describe...I mean, people are so very nice when it comes to my casual writing, and I really appreciate their comments, because I love to write , have written privately for so long, and am about to leap of the cliff of the "Familiar" out into the limitless space of the "Unknown" and writing is the very thing I want to be able to hang my hat on, so to speak...
I no longer care if I am identified as an actress or director anymore...not that I don't deeply appreciate all I've gone through to accomplish what I've accomplished through the years - I honestly am grateful for every bit of experience and success (and even the failures) that I've had...no ...don't misunderstand me: I love the life in the theatre that I've had...i honor it...and highly value every moment of it...i do NOT take it all for granted. Truly, I do not.
I am glad for it.
But, at my advanced age (!!) I understand now that life has so much more to it - has so much more for all of us - than the titles we assign ourselves early in our lives. When we are younger, it's important for us to be able to define who we are by a phrase, usually associated with what we do to earn money: "I am a lawyer"..."I am an architect"..."What I do is TV commercials"..I am what I do...etc...Much like beginning acting students who, early in their training seem to need a definitive technique, usually associated with some famous teacher or writer of acting texts, to tell them HOW to do it, HOW to become a good actor...and later they learn that to be a truly fine actor requires an open-ness to all techniques, a willingness to use whatever makes the building of the character they play fullest, most resonant, truest...we respond to what is needed.
ANd, the way I'm feeling now - with San Francisco looming on the horizon - is more open, willing and sensitive than I've ever been in my entire life, to what is needed...what will be called for...what will be asked of me in the service of fully expressing my self, my life in the service of improving this planet.
And if that means writing a book to tell about the true love of an odd family-so be it...if it means volunteering in a museum, or feeding the hungry...okay! If it means directing kids in a musical over in Berkeley, I'll do that...but if it means sitting by the side of the Pacific and doing nothing but think,inquire, analyze, meditate? THen I will somehow find the patience and endurance to let my self be still.
My problem has never been finding things to DO...my life has never wanted for "busy-ness". The real challenge for the coming time is learning how to be still, how to trust, and how to enjoy the stillness.
I'm practically joyous ( some days) with the anticipation of the fears I will feel...i almost welcome them as signs of growth and expansion into areas of my self-expression yet to be discovered.
What will be? Will definitely be. ANd my blood rushes at the very thought.
Labels: San Francisco, Writing
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