Wednesday, August 18, 2010
Who AM I Anyway?
Am I my "lay-away"? (Sounding pretty Hamlisch-Kleban here)...am I the sum total of the THINGS I've purchased throughout my life? I am wide awake in SF, it being 5:30 on a foghorn-less morning, because worrying woke me.
We've spent the last two exhausting days looking at every rental unit we could gain entrance to here in SF city, and out of 6 or so we found 2 that might be okay for us as a first home here. We see Berkeley places tomorrow, and may even buzz over to Sausalito later in the week. After dinner with friends last night, we drove all the way up to the 2nd tallest peak in the CIty (Mt. Davidson) and visited the charming, utterly suburban community of MiraLoma, and I felt like we were in the Hollywood Hills! I expected a coyote to howl at any moment. It was lovely . ANd the entire CIty and Bay lay in front of us, from where our friend David's house sits. His house is charming as well.
BUT WOULD OUR BABY GRAND fit through the DOOR? And thus the theme of my insomnia: what do we do with all the stuff that has defined at least my life so far? What the HELL do we do with it?? Am I my STUFF? I fear, at this point, that to some degree, I have to answer "yes I am". This is slightly dismaying, but, somehow also gloriously true, since I have spent a lifetime collecting these particular objects, especially the larger ones, like the baby grand piano that I bought 30 years ago for a mere $5000.00 brand new, and would now cost more - considerably more.
Look, I want to rid our life of as much needless junk as possible. But what do we then do with the stuff that is not junk? How much do we keep , knowing that our 1st transitional San Francisco place will be relatively small, and unable to contain all we have winnowed away to? I guess storage units are the answer...but...well...this early morning, I am totally overwhelmed by the prospect of all that lies ahead for us to do to move even by February, when our Abingdon house lease is ending. I simply cannot see it happening...the light has yet to appear at the end of this tunnel, so i am tired from roaming around in the dark of the unknown. BUt, for now, there is no other way.
I keep expecting some magical real estate to show up and make it clear what we should do. Maybe in Berkeley it will appear...but then, we'd be committing to at least a year in the East Bay, and we have no idea if that is truly useful or not yet. SO again, more stumbling in the dark.
Today, we are escaping from the manic-depressive flywheel of activity driven by my need to see places, places, places....I am giving Peter the day off! Myself too....and maybe the entire rest of the week here, except we probably should go to Berkeley to see a thing or two...(see?: I am relentless!)...we are going down to the Embarcadero district to see a marvelous thing: the British 360 degree PETER PAN, under a tent, with all sorts of flying all over the place, and with our premium tix, we get a backstage tour as well, showing us how the magic of it all is created...though we've been told that it is quite the seriously acted PETER PAN, with lots of good actors and excellent flying acrobats from sf.....so, i do look forward to what i've heard is rather dark version of the Barry story...and it was the first thing Peter said he wanted to do here..so, we are doing it! And I will jot down not a single rental property number if I see one! I promise.
Seeing this PETER PAN will rejuvenate our flagging artistic spirits...and if we need to, we'll see something at a small theatre in Berkeley as well. Most theaters around here seem to take their summers off to rest and refurbish, but I'm sure we can find something to feed our souls, even if it's just a great Thai cafe or a seriously wonderful Asian fusion place.....the food here has yet to disappoint.
And, frankly, the Bay is enough theatre for me,right now...the fog, the sun, the gulls, the boats...the constantly changing moods created by all those things....Sitting at an early morning table by the windows at Greens is one of my favorite seats in the entire City, and its only curtain when darkness falls, and even then, it's dynamic and interesting.
So - I need to get all this moving nonsense settled...i need to know we have a home here...and that i can get on with the important things...like a daily communing with that Bay...and the gulls, who I would like to begin naming and making personal friends of....yeah, I know: I will be a San Francisco bag lady in no time...and maybe THaT is the answer to my issues of personal property! Hmmm...nah! No way can a baby grand fit into a shopping cart.
xxev
We've spent the last two exhausting days looking at every rental unit we could gain entrance to here in SF city, and out of 6 or so we found 2 that might be okay for us as a first home here. We see Berkeley places tomorrow, and may even buzz over to Sausalito later in the week. After dinner with friends last night, we drove all the way up to the 2nd tallest peak in the CIty (Mt. Davidson) and visited the charming, utterly suburban community of MiraLoma, and I felt like we were in the Hollywood Hills! I expected a coyote to howl at any moment. It was lovely . ANd the entire CIty and Bay lay in front of us, from where our friend David's house sits. His house is charming as well.
BUT WOULD OUR BABY GRAND fit through the DOOR? And thus the theme of my insomnia: what do we do with all the stuff that has defined at least my life so far? What the HELL do we do with it?? Am I my STUFF? I fear, at this point, that to some degree, I have to answer "yes I am". This is slightly dismaying, but, somehow also gloriously true, since I have spent a lifetime collecting these particular objects, especially the larger ones, like the baby grand piano that I bought 30 years ago for a mere $5000.00 brand new, and would now cost more - considerably more.
Look, I want to rid our life of as much needless junk as possible. But what do we then do with the stuff that is not junk? How much do we keep , knowing that our 1st transitional San Francisco place will be relatively small, and unable to contain all we have winnowed away to? I guess storage units are the answer...but...well...this early morning, I am totally overwhelmed by the prospect of all that lies ahead for us to do to move even by February, when our Abingdon house lease is ending. I simply cannot see it happening...the light has yet to appear at the end of this tunnel, so i am tired from roaming around in the dark of the unknown. BUt, for now, there is no other way.
I keep expecting some magical real estate to show up and make it clear what we should do. Maybe in Berkeley it will appear...but then, we'd be committing to at least a year in the East Bay, and we have no idea if that is truly useful or not yet. SO again, more stumbling in the dark.
Today, we are escaping from the manic-depressive flywheel of activity driven by my need to see places, places, places....I am giving Peter the day off! Myself too....and maybe the entire rest of the week here, except we probably should go to Berkeley to see a thing or two...(see?: I am relentless!)...we are going down to the Embarcadero district to see a marvelous thing: the British 360 degree PETER PAN, under a tent, with all sorts of flying all over the place, and with our premium tix, we get a backstage tour as well, showing us how the magic of it all is created...though we've been told that it is quite the seriously acted PETER PAN, with lots of good actors and excellent flying acrobats from sf.....so, i do look forward to what i've heard is rather dark version of the Barry story...and it was the first thing Peter said he wanted to do here..so, we are doing it! And I will jot down not a single rental property number if I see one! I promise.
Seeing this PETER PAN will rejuvenate our flagging artistic spirits...and if we need to, we'll see something at a small theatre in Berkeley as well. Most theaters around here seem to take their summers off to rest and refurbish, but I'm sure we can find something to feed our souls, even if it's just a great Thai cafe or a seriously wonderful Asian fusion place.....the food here has yet to disappoint.
And, frankly, the Bay is enough theatre for me,right now...the fog, the sun, the gulls, the boats...the constantly changing moods created by all those things....Sitting at an early morning table by the windows at Greens is one of my favorite seats in the entire City, and its only curtain when darkness falls, and even then, it's dynamic and interesting.
So - I need to get all this moving nonsense settled...i need to know we have a home here...and that i can get on with the important things...like a daily communing with that Bay...and the gulls, who I would like to begin naming and making personal friends of....yeah, I know: I will be a San Francisco bag lady in no time...and maybe THaT is the answer to my issues of personal property! Hmmm...nah! No way can a baby grand fit into a shopping cart.
xxev
Labels: San Francisco
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