Saturday, June 09, 2007
What I'm Learning
Below is a letter I e-mailed to the Northwestern Alumni Magazine...an article i read made me write an actual "Letter To The Editor" and i never do that, but this time I did....and here it is...this meditation work I 'm doing is sensitizing me in surprising ways...is this good? Is this bad? Dunno...honestly...I do not know....
Editors - Your Summer 2007 issue, with PEACE WEAVERS on the cover, was an impressive, heartening collection of stories about people who are focusing their talents on trying to heal our selfish and not-well world. Both they and the attention you give them are to be commended. The world needs to know that higher education is producing people who are taking actions of responsibility and compassion.
Then I turned to page 31, and with a sinking heart read Ms.(Kristin)Huffman's diary excerpts. At first, because I am a member of the same profession, (and a diarist as well), I thought, "Oh goodie! An insider's P.O.V. - this'll be fun!!" But I was stalled after the 2nd one: the excerpt that tells of leaving the food stain on her host's furniture....the one where she not only made the stain worse (and then blaming the host for using colored napkins, how dare he!) but then, causing the real human stain of the evening, she leaves WITHOUT TELLING HER HOST OF THE MESS, and at the very least offering to pay for cleaning the upholstery!!
Even as I write this, I am wondering why I am bothered enough by this clearly anecdotal story to protest it. But I do know why and here it is: in a world that needs all the honesty and forthright taking of responsibility it can possibly get, what are we to learn from this perky actress' sneakiness and dishonesty? Why are we introduced to a NU-trained artist about whom I will never be able to think anything other than: "I must remember not to ever invite her to my home!".
Certainly,when I go to see her work in COMPANY , I will not be thinking of her character work, I will be thinking:"Oh, that's the one from Northwestern who spills food, leaves a mess and then hides it!" , a sad handicap for an actress who should be hoping to make a true difference in the world, which is what I was taught by such "lights" as Les Hindryckx, Bob Schneidemann, and others in my time there. In a Summer Issue about solving problems, Ms. Huffman's diary introduced us to a person who creates them, and her messes, like so many others in the world, become our own.
I guess that is why I was moved to write. Because it made me fear: whereas other departments and schools at NU seem to be producing problem-solvers, is the Theater Department to be thought of as a part of NU that produces the stereo-typically perceived selfish (and "successful") actor? The one for whom landing the job is more important than being honest? Gee, I hope not.
Truly, my profession needs artists with strength, integrity and a clear view of what makes walls come down between people, not what puts them up. Clearly, Ms. Huffman would rather remain blameless than spend a few bucks rectifying her faux pas. Oddly,
she doesn't mind letting us know that about herself.
With admiration for your magazine, I remain
Truly,
Evalyn Baron
Class of 1969, Theater Department
Remember how I mentioned in a recent blog that I was doing the Commit To Sit regimen outlined in the Spring issue of Tricycle Magazine? At least, I think I mentioned it...anyway...this simple four-week program, clearly explained and outlined in that magazine has proven to be a most wonderful thing to do...and obviously something it was finally my time to devote to doing, because whereas i have been sitting on the cushion for several years now, trying various forms of silent and chanting meditation, both with eyes opened and eyes shut, using objects (like the Gohonzon in Nichiren's regimen) and using breath alone, I have never found anything deeper than a certain calm, and, in the case of the Gohonzon, a certain sort of disciplined focus, with a valuable insight every now and then......but something else seems to be happening with this Insight Meditation regimen: a coming to new terms with my mind...a fresh acquaintance with my ego...a re-sensitizing of the places in me that feel hurt and outrage (see above letter)...and as I asked above also: Is this good? Is this bad? Well, for one thing it is re-acquainting me with the stories I tell myself...I have always been such a story teller...actors tell stories...we belive that the stories are real..but then again, most people do believe their stories are real...realler than other peoples' stories.....but the fact is, all stories are...well.... they are stories...they are not really what happened...but they are, rather , interpretations of what happened....and it is those interpretations that involve us on an emotional level....
Editors - Your Summer 2007 issue, with PEACE WEAVERS on the cover, was an impressive, heartening collection of stories about people who are focusing their talents on trying to heal our selfish and not-well world. Both they and the attention you give them are to be commended. The world needs to know that higher education is producing people who are taking actions of responsibility and compassion.
Then I turned to page 31, and with a sinking heart read Ms.(Kristin)Huffman's diary excerpts. At first, because I am a member of the same profession, (and a diarist as well), I thought, "Oh goodie! An insider's P.O.V. - this'll be fun!!" But I was stalled after the 2nd one: the excerpt that tells of leaving the food stain on her host's furniture....the one where she not only made the stain worse (and then blaming the host for using colored napkins, how dare he!) but then, causing the real human stain of the evening, she leaves WITHOUT TELLING HER HOST OF THE MESS, and at the very least offering to pay for cleaning the upholstery!!
Even as I write this, I am wondering why I am bothered enough by this clearly anecdotal story to protest it. But I do know why and here it is: in a world that needs all the honesty and forthright taking of responsibility it can possibly get, what are we to learn from this perky actress' sneakiness and dishonesty? Why are we introduced to a NU-trained artist about whom I will never be able to think anything other than: "I must remember not to ever invite her to my home!".
Certainly,when I go to see her work in COMPANY , I will not be thinking of her character work, I will be thinking:"Oh, that's the one from Northwestern who spills food, leaves a mess and then hides it!" , a sad handicap for an actress who should be hoping to make a true difference in the world, which is what I was taught by such "lights" as Les Hindryckx, Bob Schneidemann, and others in my time there. In a Summer Issue about solving problems, Ms. Huffman's diary introduced us to a person who creates them, and her messes, like so many others in the world, become our own.
I guess that is why I was moved to write. Because it made me fear: whereas other departments and schools at NU seem to be producing problem-solvers, is the Theater Department to be thought of as a part of NU that produces the stereo-typically perceived selfish (and "successful") actor? The one for whom landing the job is more important than being honest? Gee, I hope not.
Truly, my profession needs artists with strength, integrity and a clear view of what makes walls come down between people, not what puts them up. Clearly, Ms. Huffman would rather remain blameless than spend a few bucks rectifying her faux pas. Oddly,
she doesn't mind letting us know that about herself.
With admiration for your magazine, I remain
Truly,
Evalyn Baron
Class of 1969, Theater Department
Remember how I mentioned in a recent blog that I was doing the Commit To Sit regimen outlined in the Spring issue of Tricycle Magazine? At least, I think I mentioned it...anyway...this simple four-week program, clearly explained and outlined in that magazine has proven to be a most wonderful thing to do...and obviously something it was finally my time to devote to doing, because whereas i have been sitting on the cushion for several years now, trying various forms of silent and chanting meditation, both with eyes opened and eyes shut, using objects (like the Gohonzon in Nichiren's regimen) and using breath alone, I have never found anything deeper than a certain calm, and, in the case of the Gohonzon, a certain sort of disciplined focus, with a valuable insight every now and then......but something else seems to be happening with this Insight Meditation regimen: a coming to new terms with my mind...a fresh acquaintance with my ego...a re-sensitizing of the places in me that feel hurt and outrage (see above letter)...and as I asked above also: Is this good? Is this bad? Well, for one thing it is re-acquainting me with the stories I tell myself...I have always been such a story teller...actors tell stories...we belive that the stories are real..but then again, most people do believe their stories are real...realler than other peoples' stories.....but the fact is, all stories are...well.... they are stories...they are not really what happened...but they are, rather , interpretations of what happened....and it is those interpretations that involve us on an emotional level....
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