Thursday, April 26, 2007
Anger
...what is it? What is anger? While meditating on this question last night, - what is anger - the first thing that came up was a color: red. Anger is red. Then shape: anger seemed to me to be a a big red block...a square shaped block. Bright red, filling all the space with its size and bulk. Further meditation: anger is fear....what do i fear? ...the red block begins to dissolve into air...what is fear? Fear is Ego....what is Ego? Ego is, of course, Illusion...the ilusion that we are separate...the illusion that there is a solid "I" that can be angered or hurt...so anger is Illusion? It sure as hell feels real enough, right?
But it's interesting what sitting on the cushion and meditating (as deeply as emotions allow you to meditate) on a subject as fraught as anger can do....the seemingly solid state seems to indeed dissolve...and become, truthfully, nothing.
Ego is an interesting topic to think about. The sort of anger that seems to rule the world is so filled with the idea that what "I" think is righter than what "you" think...that "I" am right and "you" are so very wrong. That "you" do what "you" do and therefore can harm "me"...and so the world runs....Ego driven to the nth degree...Ego destroys everything in its path....Ego is pure insanity. Yet, you say, Ego is healthy and differentiates the one from the other...makes a person strive for his or her own territory. Ego is drive and drive accomplishes what must get done. I say: LOVE does that. Not Ego. It may feel like Ego...and our fears and doubts may wrap the impulse up in Ego, but the initial impulse is Love...wanting to share and grow. I have to velieve this. It's the warmth of the campfire we all want to sit around that makes the defending of the campfire seem so important....so rather than make the campfire larger, we fight to keep others from it. This happens a lot.
SO. Anger. Hmmmm....anger. Murderous, hurtfilled, aggrieved, egocentric anger. One of the less pleasant human conditions.
Gorgeous day is dawning out there in this city,......Paul and Steve return soon from their Florida soujour, only to turn round and fly out to San Francisco soon....Peter and Iwere going to join them on that part of the adventure, but have decided to stay home and tend our fires here,.....see the City into Spring. I want to see Museums in May and catch up on art! What do you want to do?
But it's interesting what sitting on the cushion and meditating (as deeply as emotions allow you to meditate) on a subject as fraught as anger can do....the seemingly solid state seems to indeed dissolve...and become, truthfully, nothing.
Ego is an interesting topic to think about. The sort of anger that seems to rule the world is so filled with the idea that what "I" think is righter than what "you" think...that "I" am right and "you" are so very wrong. That "you" do what "you" do and therefore can harm "me"...and so the world runs....Ego driven to the nth degree...Ego destroys everything in its path....Ego is pure insanity. Yet, you say, Ego is healthy and differentiates the one from the other...makes a person strive for his or her own territory. Ego is drive and drive accomplishes what must get done. I say: LOVE does that. Not Ego. It may feel like Ego...and our fears and doubts may wrap the impulse up in Ego, but the initial impulse is Love...wanting to share and grow. I have to velieve this. It's the warmth of the campfire we all want to sit around that makes the defending of the campfire seem so important....so rather than make the campfire larger, we fight to keep others from it. This happens a lot.
SO. Anger. Hmmmm....anger. Murderous, hurtfilled, aggrieved, egocentric anger. One of the less pleasant human conditions.
Gorgeous day is dawning out there in this city,......Paul and Steve return soon from their Florida soujour, only to turn round and fly out to San Francisco soon....Peter and Iwere going to join them on that part of the adventure, but have decided to stay home and tend our fires here,.....see the City into Spring. I want to see Museums in May and catch up on art! What do you want to do?
Post a Comment