Thursday, December 21, 2006
Who IS That Masked Woman....???
...well, not exactly "masked" but rather covered in flour and sugar, madly baking and baking and baking some more??? IT IS MOI!!! ME!! I!!! Overcome by the most amazing desire to BAKE!!! And so I have been baking! So many cookies i don't know where to put them all, and covered in so many shades of red and green (with various candy garnishes) that it rather looks like what I imagine Santa's workshop to look like all year round...the cookies look great with our new red dining room walls! It's all so red and elegant and deeply sweet...all that sugar! All that cheer!
And the entire place smells so great! Well, you can imagine...and today i am baking even more..I will start a batch of Paul's Mom's infamous Christmas Rum Balls soon, and even attempt a batch of cranberry scones~. Somebody STOP ME!!! I am a baker...no, no, I am a seagull....no,, no, I am an actress...no...a teacher...no....aaargh!
I even made a fabulously delicious lentil soup for dinner last night, and it was waiting, with fresh biscuits, for Peter to have the minute he got home from the office...all I need is an apron and a shirtwaist dress and i am a latter day Donna Reed...today i am a housewife! And having fun in the mysterious process! Maybe it is all this delicious leisure time i am having as a result of the NYU school term being over...the sudden rush of freedom and free time, filled with no obligations whatsoever...an occasional private student, but not many...and i love this space of time stretching before me..the emptiness delights and scares me, but mostly delights me...I used to not be able to be comfortable with such freedom, and always felt that if i was not booking a commercial or rehearsing a show or performing in one, I was at a loss...well, that has absolutely changed and , ever since returning from Barter a couple of years ago, the thought of an 8-show week still sends a dull chill through me....I would rather sit in my meditation room and stare at the altar, or, as this week proves, do something to delight my husband when he comes home from his long day's work...he does love cookies, so this baking spree of mine is a delight for him...and i will try to find his childhood favorite today: peppermint ice cream!...to go with the fresh baked cookies.
What is this time in my life? Why am I so very content? I feel as if I have found a safe harbor after a life of odd neurotic storming....sure, I have produced a body of work in my career that has some sort of label and I know that I have contributed to people's lives along the way, but when I was younger, and striving so hard to get somewhere other than where I was, I never thought I would know such peace as I am knowing now. A sort of knowing that seemed impossible when I was a younger woman. So BRAVA for aging! I would not go back a single second of time.
I have learned how to bake some sugar cookies without burning the edges. To me, for the very now of now, that is enough...that is plenty.
And the entire place smells so great! Well, you can imagine...and today i am baking even more..I will start a batch of Paul's Mom's infamous Christmas Rum Balls soon, and even attempt a batch of cranberry scones~. Somebody STOP ME!!! I am a baker...no, no, I am a seagull....no,, no, I am an actress...no...a teacher...no....aaargh!
I even made a fabulously delicious lentil soup for dinner last night, and it was waiting, with fresh biscuits, for Peter to have the minute he got home from the office...all I need is an apron and a shirtwaist dress and i am a latter day Donna Reed...today i am a housewife! And having fun in the mysterious process! Maybe it is all this delicious leisure time i am having as a result of the NYU school term being over...the sudden rush of freedom and free time, filled with no obligations whatsoever...an occasional private student, but not many...and i love this space of time stretching before me..the emptiness delights and scares me, but mostly delights me...I used to not be able to be comfortable with such freedom, and always felt that if i was not booking a commercial or rehearsing a show or performing in one, I was at a loss...well, that has absolutely changed and , ever since returning from Barter a couple of years ago, the thought of an 8-show week still sends a dull chill through me....I would rather sit in my meditation room and stare at the altar, or, as this week proves, do something to delight my husband when he comes home from his long day's work...he does love cookies, so this baking spree of mine is a delight for him...and i will try to find his childhood favorite today: peppermint ice cream!...to go with the fresh baked cookies.
What is this time in my life? Why am I so very content? I feel as if I have found a safe harbor after a life of odd neurotic storming....sure, I have produced a body of work in my career that has some sort of label and I know that I have contributed to people's lives along the way, but when I was younger, and striving so hard to get somewhere other than where I was, I never thought I would know such peace as I am knowing now. A sort of knowing that seemed impossible when I was a younger woman. So BRAVA for aging! I would not go back a single second of time.
I have learned how to bake some sugar cookies without burning the edges. To me, for the very now of now, that is enough...that is plenty.
Labels: Holidays and Slings and Arrows
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