Monday, August 07, 2006
The Blank Page...
..has held an irresistable fascination for me ever since I can remember...as it is with so many of you who are reading, I walk into an office supply or stationary store, or even a paper goods section of a larger store, and i get drunk with the possibilities that lay before me....row after row of colored, shaped, blank, lined, journalled,padded,loose,stacked,boxed,crisp,sweetly possible : PAPER....or the equivalent thereof....and of course now, a blank computer screen is like a waiting lover, crouched behind the garden hedges of expectation! I see the space and I want to fill it. Positively sexual.
That being said, I am reminded of a time when I had one of my few (but somehow necessary) readings by a psychic....in fact, if i remember at all correctly, it was more than one reader who told me I would one day, eventually, seriously, write. Did they mean write for a living? I always assumed that is what they meant...but the message was clear i had things to say and they would be said to the world because I wrote them down somewhere.
Not plays. Not songs. (I could never write any of those...i know how hard it is to write a good one and I would never dare try either)...but me, my voice, my opinions and ideas...written. This both delighted and scared me, these psychic declarations,because whereas i wanted to always write (just try and stop me all these years), it was mine and mine alone...no one need ever see it, and so it meant both more to me, and oddly less to me, than performing on a stage....safe in my private writer's corner, I am free to be and create anything I want to....no applause needed...
Now, with people noticing what i am writing on the blog, it is of course wonderful that people enjoy it...and now BACKSTAGE has asked me to write a column on a topic or two...this is also great! And I am grateful for the chance to expand my understanding of what more public writing can be...but...well...the "baby" of my inner most soul has to grow up and walk out in the world a little....what if she steps in a mud puddle or, worse yet, walks right into a wall of stone?
What if she presumes too much and wears lipstick and heels before she is ready?This baby writer of mine....or maybe she's ready to walk the runway and i just have to trust her...
Well, what the hell..for now...that is what i have to do....trust her to get up if she walks on the wrong clouds... if she falls through,there will always be others (clouds that is) to fall on...
SO, God Daughter Evalyn, a new adventure begins..and, San Francisco: stay beautiful, because we will be back some day soon!
Meryl Streep opens this week as Mother Courage in Central Park...though most theater is a large yawn for me these days, that is something I will not miss...dear Alex T. is trying to reserve some seats for us, but I will wait in a line of any length to see this superb actress....there are certain masters in one's lifetime, and Meryl Streep is one of mine!
More soon.
That being said, I am reminded of a time when I had one of my few (but somehow necessary) readings by a psychic....in fact, if i remember at all correctly, it was more than one reader who told me I would one day, eventually, seriously, write. Did they mean write for a living? I always assumed that is what they meant...but the message was clear i had things to say and they would be said to the world because I wrote them down somewhere.
Not plays. Not songs. (I could never write any of those...i know how hard it is to write a good one and I would never dare try either)...but me, my voice, my opinions and ideas...written. This both delighted and scared me, these psychic declarations,because whereas i wanted to always write (just try and stop me all these years), it was mine and mine alone...no one need ever see it, and so it meant both more to me, and oddly less to me, than performing on a stage....safe in my private writer's corner, I am free to be and create anything I want to....no applause needed...
Now, with people noticing what i am writing on the blog, it is of course wonderful that people enjoy it...and now BACKSTAGE has asked me to write a column on a topic or two...this is also great! And I am grateful for the chance to expand my understanding of what more public writing can be...but...well...the "baby" of my inner most soul has to grow up and walk out in the world a little....what if she steps in a mud puddle or, worse yet, walks right into a wall of stone?
What if she presumes too much and wears lipstick and heels before she is ready?This baby writer of mine....or maybe she's ready to walk the runway and i just have to trust her...
Well, what the hell..for now...that is what i have to do....trust her to get up if she walks on the wrong clouds... if she falls through,there will always be others (clouds that is) to fall on...
SO, God Daughter Evalyn, a new adventure begins..and, San Francisco: stay beautiful, because we will be back some day soon!
Meryl Streep opens this week as Mother Courage in Central Park...though most theater is a large yawn for me these days, that is something I will not miss...dear Alex T. is trying to reserve some seats for us, but I will wait in a line of any length to see this superb actress....there are certain masters in one's lifetime, and Meryl Streep is one of mine!
More soon.
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