Chance = Change

...have been coming my way this past week about the blog entry I wrote concerning the possibility that A FINE AND PRIVATE PLACE might be the last show I choose to perform in as an actor. I say "surprise reactions" because, first of all, I am constantly surprised to discover how many people actually read my blog, and even more surprised to learn who reads it....to all who do, I once again say: thank you. I also say "surprise reactions" because people who have commented on that particular entry seem surprised that i would ever make such a decision about my life....people who have always known me, primarily, as an actor...also, I use the word "surprise" to describe the reactions because it surprises me that people take what i write so seriously. So, this whole thing about maybe never acting again has, well...it has surprised me!!!

That being said, let me say this about that:

I will always be an actor. In my soul, deep in my heart, and throughout the rest of my body, an actor is what i have been and always will be. The stage is my home. Performing in front of live audiences is where i have come to understand about myself , about my life, about humanity, about joy. Acting , singing the best I can manage (I've never considered myself particularly a singer), and giving life to characters in front of audiences full of people...these things have , in large part, defined who I am. This will never not be true. Acting is what I do. Taking action. Breathing my life into crafted characters, with the intention of telling stories that move audiences from one point in their lives to another.

I will always do this. I will never stop. How can I? It matters too deeply to me.

That is why it must never become just a job to me. That is why I have to begin to say no to most of the auditions that come my way, lately. That is why I havet o trust these instincts of mine. That is why it will take something special to make me want to do it again. And that something special will come along. It always has. An offer that I cannot refuse...a show that matters.

If that one comes my way, there I'll be: back on stage, happily so. But just to earn my daily bread and insurance weeks? My time is better spent elsewhere, like in a classroom helping others learn, or in front of my computer, finally writing what I have spent my life yearning to write.

I guess I should revise my previous blog statement. A FINE AND PRIVATE PLACE will be my last show as an actor...until the next one comes along.