Tuesday, March 07, 2006
My Yellow Hat, ....
...trimmed in gorgeous fur, from Tibet...with the cunning red ribbon bow at the back...my pretty yellow hat is gone.....SWIPED ...STOLEN...PILFERED!
Honestly, someone stealthily swiped it from my side on the subway yesterday...it was placed on the seat next to me, as I rummaged through my bags for something or other, and when I went to put it back on my head, it was gone...irretreivably, irrefutably gone. It took me many minutes of searching every inch of me and my belongings to really let it sink in: I was the victim of petty theft! MY HAT NOW BELONGS TO SOMEONE ELSE....and I miss it. I am sad for it. I yearn.
I also fume!
If I should happen to see anyone every wearing that hat (I will know if it's mine) I will , without thought, rush to them, grab it from their head! And give them a good nose-twisting in the bargain...How dare they steal from me?!
All kidding aside, I feel strange about the theft and loss of this hat.
Strangely violated, and in some sort of phantom way, cold. Oh, I've got plenty of hats....no doubt of that...even one exactly like the one stolen, except it's blue not yellow....unlike many who live on the streets of New York, I will not go cold because of its loss....no, the chill i feel is real, but also metaphorical: I feel "less than" ....diminished by the loss of that hat.
It was a part of my personal real estate...the fur trim, black and soft, was comforting in the way a beloved pet is comforting...the snappy yellow silk crown...and that insouciant sassy red silk bow...that hat spoke for me, silently but with style...it was MINE....and someone stole it from me.
The odd thing is (and I was deep into my bag-rummaging , so I could have missed a passer-by), the only person I observed being next to me, since the train was sparsely populated, was a tall, elgant woman, well-dressed in black and self-possessed....surely SHE is not the culprit! Yes, my hat would have looked gorgeous with her black coat, but still....a woman of obvious means, is she one of those slightly psychotic New York city dames who shoplift and steal from others on trains?
Though she clearly could have afforded to spend her own hundreds on a newer version of my hat, did she, instead, zero in for the kill and wallow in the prideful act of having successfully stolen form another? Will she shamefully reveal her secret to her Park Avenue therapist (whose hourly fee could have paid for her to buy my hat from me rather than steal it?) And will she not even wear it, but stow it away in some closet along with other ill-gotten gains?
I weep if that is what she'll do, for my hat needs to be walked daily in the chill winter air or it will be a very sad hat.
As I am a sad, mournful ex-owner of said hat...goodbye hat..I hope you at least warm the head of someone who actually needs you, though it is hard to imagine you gracing the head of anyone who might be wearing a polyester, downfilled jacket or coat.
So I am torn: on the one hand, I hope you had a fashionable thief, one whose wardrobe supports your soft and perky beauty...on the other, I wish for you a life of service, so that even if you have to top a shabbily-dressed, ill-washed street preson, that you do it with pride of purpose!
You are, you always will be, MY yellow hat...I am sad and I will miss you. I do miss you. Fare well.
And damn the person who stole you from me!!!!!
Honestly, someone stealthily swiped it from my side on the subway yesterday...it was placed on the seat next to me, as I rummaged through my bags for something or other, and when I went to put it back on my head, it was gone...irretreivably, irrefutably gone. It took me many minutes of searching every inch of me and my belongings to really let it sink in: I was the victim of petty theft! MY HAT NOW BELONGS TO SOMEONE ELSE....and I miss it. I am sad for it. I yearn.
I also fume!
If I should happen to see anyone every wearing that hat (I will know if it's mine) I will , without thought, rush to them, grab it from their head! And give them a good nose-twisting in the bargain...How dare they steal from me?!
All kidding aside, I feel strange about the theft and loss of this hat.
Strangely violated, and in some sort of phantom way, cold. Oh, I've got plenty of hats....no doubt of that...even one exactly like the one stolen, except it's blue not yellow....unlike many who live on the streets of New York, I will not go cold because of its loss....no, the chill i feel is real, but also metaphorical: I feel "less than" ....diminished by the loss of that hat.
It was a part of my personal real estate...the fur trim, black and soft, was comforting in the way a beloved pet is comforting...the snappy yellow silk crown...and that insouciant sassy red silk bow...that hat spoke for me, silently but with style...it was MINE....and someone stole it from me.
The odd thing is (and I was deep into my bag-rummaging , so I could have missed a passer-by), the only person I observed being next to me, since the train was sparsely populated, was a tall, elgant woman, well-dressed in black and self-possessed....surely SHE is not the culprit! Yes, my hat would have looked gorgeous with her black coat, but still....a woman of obvious means, is she one of those slightly psychotic New York city dames who shoplift and steal from others on trains?
Though she clearly could have afforded to spend her own hundreds on a newer version of my hat, did she, instead, zero in for the kill and wallow in the prideful act of having successfully stolen form another? Will she shamefully reveal her secret to her Park Avenue therapist (whose hourly fee could have paid for her to buy my hat from me rather than steal it?) And will she not even wear it, but stow it away in some closet along with other ill-gotten gains?
I weep if that is what she'll do, for my hat needs to be walked daily in the chill winter air or it will be a very sad hat.
As I am a sad, mournful ex-owner of said hat...goodbye hat..I hope you at least warm the head of someone who actually needs you, though it is hard to imagine you gracing the head of anyone who might be wearing a polyester, downfilled jacket or coat.
So I am torn: on the one hand, I hope you had a fashionable thief, one whose wardrobe supports your soft and perky beauty...on the other, I wish for you a life of service, so that even if you have to top a shabbily-dressed, ill-washed street preson, that you do it with pride of purpose!
You are, you always will be, MY yellow hat...I am sad and I will miss you. I do miss you. Fare well.
And damn the person who stole you from me!!!!!
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