Saturday, November 05, 2005
Sabbatical
Yesterday, I had, for the first time ever, a colonoscopy! Dr. Ferran, my new lady doctor, suggested it was time, at my age, for such preventitive examinations, and so i said okay and will even have a bone density scan next week at Lenox Hill..I mean , why not?...preventative is good....and for some reason, i fear these tests far less than I mentally cringe at mammograms....something to do with sexual attractiveness, female identity, etc, no doubt...but...whatever..I had this interesting procedure done yesterday at noon, and have lived to tell this tale:
I realize i call things "interesting" because new things, new experiences do actually and authentically interest me, ususally more than they scare me! I love this fact. Anyway, yesterday was interesting. As was the day before.
As most of you probably know, the day before a colonoscopy, one is required to totally refraining eating any solid food...only clear liquids are allowed into your body...PLUS WHICH: one is required to do a bowel cleansing regimen that (without insurance) costs almost $70.00!!!! Thank goodness it only cost me $10.00, because if I had had to pay any more for something that made me feel that bad, I would have felt angry along with feeling nauseous, weak and awful! This stuff you have to drink is reprehensible! Lemon-lime flavor and all, it is noxious and after only one 8-ounce dose, my body rebelled at the very smell of it...so, whereas you are asked to drink some every 10 minutes, after the first few downings, it took me all day to finish the lot, and that was only if i could mix it with Ginger Ale....yecccccccch!!! And i do mean yeech!
At least it gave me something to care about more passionately than all the food i was not eating...sort of like having an enemy that unites all the forces...and all my forces were so intent upon finishing that horrible stuff and getting rid of the bodily stuff that needed to be gotten rid of, I had no time or energy to feel hungry or deprived! And before I knew it, the noxious stuff was finished and i could sleep away my starvation....i drank lots of others more pleasant liquids as well, since they ask you to guard against dehydration. NOTHING SOLID , though! Not even cream in your coffee....something about food forming into particles that could be aspirated into your lungs during the procedure,etc....
Dr. Susan Regisford, a gorgeous tall anthesthesiogist, gently took me under ( I had no idea i was even going to be sedated!!!) and before I knew it, the thing was done...I awoke feeling fantastically rested (thus the title of this piece) and all was well inside me! Easy. Pleasant. The worst part was having to drink that stuff the day before. So,, I am gaining an enormous amount of confidence in this new Dr. Elena Ferran and I like her. Next week: tune in for the adventure of my first Bone Density Test! All this good middle-aged preventitive checking up! Adventurous!
And, yes, interesting. Another sort of journey into self. The physical self. The seld that houses all the other selves I have always been so interested in.
I realize i call things "interesting" because new things, new experiences do actually and authentically interest me, ususally more than they scare me! I love this fact. Anyway, yesterday was interesting. As was the day before.
As most of you probably know, the day before a colonoscopy, one is required to totally refraining eating any solid food...only clear liquids are allowed into your body...PLUS WHICH: one is required to do a bowel cleansing regimen that (without insurance) costs almost $70.00!!!! Thank goodness it only cost me $10.00, because if I had had to pay any more for something that made me feel that bad, I would have felt angry along with feeling nauseous, weak and awful! This stuff you have to drink is reprehensible! Lemon-lime flavor and all, it is noxious and after only one 8-ounce dose, my body rebelled at the very smell of it...so, whereas you are asked to drink some every 10 minutes, after the first few downings, it took me all day to finish the lot, and that was only if i could mix it with Ginger Ale....yecccccccch!!! And i do mean yeech!
At least it gave me something to care about more passionately than all the food i was not eating...sort of like having an enemy that unites all the forces...and all my forces were so intent upon finishing that horrible stuff and getting rid of the bodily stuff that needed to be gotten rid of, I had no time or energy to feel hungry or deprived! And before I knew it, the noxious stuff was finished and i could sleep away my starvation....i drank lots of others more pleasant liquids as well, since they ask you to guard against dehydration. NOTHING SOLID , though! Not even cream in your coffee....something about food forming into particles that could be aspirated into your lungs during the procedure,etc....
Dr. Susan Regisford, a gorgeous tall anthesthesiogist, gently took me under ( I had no idea i was even going to be sedated!!!) and before I knew it, the thing was done...I awoke feeling fantastically rested (thus the title of this piece) and all was well inside me! Easy. Pleasant. The worst part was having to drink that stuff the day before. So,, I am gaining an enormous amount of confidence in this new Dr. Elena Ferran and I like her. Next week: tune in for the adventure of my first Bone Density Test! All this good middle-aged preventitive checking up! Adventurous!
And, yes, interesting. Another sort of journey into self. The physical self. The seld that houses all the other selves I have always been so interested in.
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