Monday, November 14, 2005
Fearless..
...in a world full of fear...now that is an exercise...I spent the gorgeous cool Fall weekend Upstate, with a slight headcold that turned Steve and Paul into the world's most wonderful nurses! They took care of me like i was really sick! I must admit, I began to enjoy all the attention, and unaccustomed as I am to having colds or flu bugs (you can't hit a moving target ,they say), I was able to impesonate quite well a moderately ill little girl! Peter stayed in town to catch up on much-needed stuff around the apartment, since he is occupied morning to night down on Broad Street in the real work-a-day world during the week....so Steve and Paul had me all to themselves and boy did i enjoy that! Saturday night, Nancy T. came for yet another of Steve's delicious meals...he is an outstanding and caring cook...and his lentil soup and home-made cornbread (the best I have ever had!) were perfect for that cold night...Sunday morning, Paul and I sat in the sun-filled den and he read pages and pages of his Shambala studies to me: he is doing a course in tonglen, an ancient meditation discipline of breath and forgiveness....healing ,really...and so interesting to learn about...the more i learn about Tibetan Buddhism, the clearer i see where Nichiren fits into the historic and social picture of the development of this amazing way to negotiate the world as we know it. I am tremendously grateful to have this time in which to study and learn.
Today i meet Pearl B. for lunch. It will be nice to see her. Such a good lady.
And tonight, another Epic new play reading at the Players' Club.
"The purpose of life is to live it, to taste experience to the utmost,to reach out eagerly and without fear for newer and richer experience."...Eleanor Roosevelt said that! you know, that 20th Century American Buddhist! Peter gave me that quote once in a card accompanying an anniversary gift..he has a great eye for good cards...and it is a quote that I feel particularly defines where I am in my life right now:
Breaking down barriers that have silently been holding me hostage, barriers of my own creation...sitting still when I have usually been (habitually) running around in frantic circles looking for a way not to sit still...opening my eyes to what people are actually saying and doing, instead of how i wish they were saying or doing...not filling in the blanks in an effort to make it all okay, but rather letting people I care for fill in their own blanks,while I sit and simply observe...this is all new for me...genuine listening is perhaps something I was never actually comfortable doing before this time in my life...I was too busy writing it the way I wanted it to be...and these days, i feel like it's important for me to sit and let the script write itself...and I shall be a willing ,quiet listener. This is a luxury of opportunity. Come what may.
The Fall teaches me much. The trees are a lesson in themselves: root your self,stand tall and let things fall where they may: there is always the Spring! Meanwhile, enjoy the colors of life.
All of them.
Today i meet Pearl B. for lunch. It will be nice to see her. Such a good lady.
And tonight, another Epic new play reading at the Players' Club.
"The purpose of life is to live it, to taste experience to the utmost,to reach out eagerly and without fear for newer and richer experience."...Eleanor Roosevelt said that! you know, that 20th Century American Buddhist! Peter gave me that quote once in a card accompanying an anniversary gift..he has a great eye for good cards...and it is a quote that I feel particularly defines where I am in my life right now:
Breaking down barriers that have silently been holding me hostage, barriers of my own creation...sitting still when I have usually been (habitually) running around in frantic circles looking for a way not to sit still...opening my eyes to what people are actually saying and doing, instead of how i wish they were saying or doing...not filling in the blanks in an effort to make it all okay, but rather letting people I care for fill in their own blanks,while I sit and simply observe...this is all new for me...genuine listening is perhaps something I was never actually comfortable doing before this time in my life...I was too busy writing it the way I wanted it to be...and these days, i feel like it's important for me to sit and let the script write itself...and I shall be a willing ,quiet listener. This is a luxury of opportunity. Come what may.
The Fall teaches me much. The trees are a lesson in themselves: root your self,stand tall and let things fall where they may: there is always the Spring! Meanwhile, enjoy the colors of life.
All of them.
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