Chance = Change

....and all the streets do shrink....under the mantle of yet more cold white stuff...but it is beautiful....and it has been snowing now for hours and hours and hours . I had the most wonderful day yesterday, in the middle of it, with Drew E. After spending a much - needed morning at home, alone with my boxes and stacks and piles and puppies, (peter had a busy day of auditioning starting in the early morning), i got a lot accomplished in the way of organizing and putting things in their places...then, feeling refreshed from a morning not rushed, i set out to drop in to the Barter auditions down at the Ripley-Grier Studios...Peter and I had the most wonderful dinner with Rick R. and Amanda A. at Docks on Sunday night...their energy and friendship felt like pure oxygen to me...so good to be with them...and we spent hours over a fine and talkative dinner...anyway, determined to see them one last time before their departure, i did drop in briefly at the "Kathy Seldon" auditions for SINGING IN THE RAIN, and Peter was there too, having dropped by to watch for a while. Then I met Drew at Manhattan Theatre Club where we were invited to the most delightful reading of a new play called NATURAL HISTORY, by old friend Jennifer Camp...i have seen the script in its early stages, and the reading yesterday, with John Dossett, Michelle Pawk and another fine younger actor, was one of the best I've seen in so long...the 4 playlets flowed together nicely into a wry, urban, fun and funny adult view of love and people who dare to try it in its many forms...we laughed and had the best couple of hours. Then we subwayed down to AMERICA and had a fine dinner before going to another reading at CAP 21. Drew is fun to spend a day with. A good date, and such an important friend to me. He's sort of become part of home for me. My Buddhist mentor, my shaka buku poppa.... i value him so much. There is much to be done here. And since my outpouring of discomfort and pain in the past two blogs, i seem to be able to concentrate in a more comfortable and focused way on the various paths in front of me. As I said, there is much to do ....here. And there is no doubt that I am suposed to be here, with my dearest husband, discovering, or in some cases, re-discovering things I had forgotten or never bothered to explore before. As soon as BERGIN PINES is done on March 7th, (it is an intense play for Eliza V. to perform and for me to direct), I am intent upon not saying "yes" so fast to things requested of me, and to relax into my time here, as I had intended to do, with the trust that things will evolve as they will, as they are meant to, for the best of all concerned. I need to allow myself to see with the sort of clarity that can only come with slowing down and looking! I want to spend more time with my darling niece, Rachel. I want to be in my home. I want to be here for Peter in the best ways possible. I will take this time. I have earned it. Because right now, knowing how difficult it is to do anything well if you do not spend all the time needed to make it so, I would rather rest and store up energy for the next round of creative output, than to do any thing half-way, just to get by and be busy....So i will rest and store up...think and think some more. Breathe and write. The reminds me : "beneath the deepest snows, the secret of a rose, is only that it knows you must believe in Spring"....michelle le grand...so, let it snow, let it snow, let it snow....!