Friday, March 04, 2005
Martha Stewart:A Recipe for Lemonade
Gimme those lemons! Everyone, and I mean every one, has a bit of larceny in their soul..and for some inexplicable reason, the Federal Government chose Mistress Martha to make an example of because for larceny to become public is in such poor taste!!! I think we punished her more for that poor taste than for any crime she may have committed: our Martha is the Goddess of Good Taste, so any slip in that area had to be dealt with harshly!! In any event, she got out of prison last night at the glamorous and bewitching hour of 12 midnight! Who else could have managed such a chic and "downtown" exit ? So urban, so clubby...so much fun..."it's a good thing"...I envision an entire series of prison releases by the rich and (in)famous, each one vying for the most press coverage and the best late-night release hour: PRISON: THE ULTIMATE AFTER -HOURS CLUB!!! PRISON: what to wear when you "come out"!!! A new fashion line...PRISON: the new diet that works!!! PRISON: the workout! TAPES AVAILABLE AT THE COMMISSARY!! The perfect "Yo My Bitch" Day Gift: the Martha Haircut!!! (only authentic prison-crafted shivs used to achieve that perfect ragged-end look!)...So...darling Martha, a woman I love to watch do perfect things is out, baby, and even has two new TV shows to get busy with! I can hardly wait to see what she learned in "stir"! What crafty new skills she acquired ...I think it will only be a matter of time before her prison look will influence the fashion runways of NYC...and ankle-bracelet jewelry, clunky and communicative, will soon be so popular that even the corner-merchants will start stocking cheap imitations, batteries not included, but with that authentic prison burnished steel look...Martha RULES!!! Always has, always will, stock market faux pas be damned!!! A well-edged garden overcomes any and every woe! Stick to your kitchen knife sharpener , keep those blades edgy, and you can cut through any tough thing life throws at you! Smile for the cameras and lift those pots and pans, goody goody! I, for one ,will be among the first to tune in the see what Ms. Stewart has cookin for us on her new TV shows...and I think House Arrest a great title for at least one of her new shows!! Don't you?
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What? Parody from my earnest sister. Unbelievable.
I'm not certain that "shiv" is as current as "shank." The former is so "West Side Story." I'll have to ask around among the Federal marshalls at the District courthouse - my new affinity group. (Still, I'm grateful for even the smallest start.)
Here is a new mantra for you, you blooming writer, you. "Editing is good." "Editing is good." I'll supply more about this in my forthcoming "Rules for Riting."
I'm taking a few minutes' recreation from my workload - I hope this will be a productive day. Keep up the blogging. Recall the directions for getting to Carnegie Hall: practice, practice, practice. Love for the day...Brother Richard.
I'm not certain that "shiv" is as current as "shank." The former is so "West Side Story." I'll have to ask around among the Federal marshalls at the District courthouse - my new affinity group. (Still, I'm grateful for even the smallest start.)
Here is a new mantra for you, you blooming writer, you. "Editing is good." "Editing is good." I'll supply more about this in my forthcoming "Rules for Riting."
I'm taking a few minutes' recreation from my workload - I hope this will be a productive day. Keep up the blogging. Recall the directions for getting to Carnegie Hall: practice, practice, practice. Love for the day...Brother Richard.
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