Chance = Change

Well, today I had mine...Joan B. took out the little forms, and asked me all the standard questions, and I had to actually sit and think about why I am leaving Barter theatre, a place I have grown to love so dearly. Of course, life in NYC for me and my darling husband is far from bleak, as we have so many friends and loved ones there who care about us and wish us success and happiness...and New York City, despite its shortfalls , is one of the premier cities of the world, it goes without saying, and we have a gorgeous place to live there, our very own home. Our real home. A place that feels more like us than does the SW region of Virginia...we are not Virginians...we are New Yorkers...SO ...WHY do i feel so bad about leaving here? Why, indeed?Because, to my utter surprise, I feel really sad about leaving. Excited about what lies ahead, yes.But sad about not coming back here. Of course, I can easily come back here one day, if Fate has that in store for me to do...the doors are wide open, at least according to Rick R. Wide open arms. Both Peter and I will be missed, and I know we will be missed by many. I will miss so much here: the chances to do work beyond my dreams of ever being able to...the trust people put in me...the ideas I saw come to fruition, with my help...the magnificent ways I have witnessed people in our company and staff growing and expanding...the joys the audience here feel when we perform for them...the unstinting love the community gives to all of us who work at Barter...i have even grown to love Barter's detractors! Because they are part of a living, breathing, concerned and caring community that is Abingdon. I will miss the complex of problems ahead, that face the theatre as it grows to its next level of importance and artistic power in not only this community, but the larger one one as well...I will miss that damned haunted rehearsal hall, haunted i say, because so many brilliant actors and directors have worked in there, and their spirits linger, as do the energies of the work they have created over the years..Barter has texture and grit, depth and heart, sweat and love in its very fabric, and it clothes the community in that fabric on a daily and regular basis...we share what we do here, in the most basic of ways, because to not share it renders us purposeless...Barter has, to put it simply, HISTORY! ACTORSTORY!ARTSTORY! And we are, by nature, an engine for change. What we do here matters, no matter the obstacles, and so, whatever to pain: IT IS WORTH IT...IT IS ALL WORTH IT. And that is why I shall be sad on leaving, because how many places in our lives can we say that about with all capital letters? God willing, we will be able to say that on our deathbeds...that is all WAS WORTH IT! Meanwhile, Barter has reminded me that this is possible to know: the worth of tears and hardwork..the worth of creating, no matter the blood and pain it may involve. Like candles burning from both ends, artists are brilliantly used here.And finally, what more can any of us ask for?